the lightning thief

REPORT CARD

bff charm: nah swoonworthy scale: 0 talky talk: straight up but with an uneven tone bonus factors: the gods! relationship status: don't stand so close to me

the deal:

Percy Jackson is a troubled kid about to be kicked out of his, like, sixth school in as many years. Now on top of that, mythical creatures are trying to kill him, because as it turns out, his dead beat dad is actually a god. Like one of thee gods who lives on Mount Olympus. As if that wasn't enough to blow a twelve year-old's mind, Zeus's master bolt- as in lightning- has been stolen, and for some reason, the gods think Percy did it. So Percy has to figure out who, exactly, did steal the master bolt, get it back, and return it to Mount Olympus before a war between the gods breaks out. And he has ten days to do it.

bff charm: nah

It's not that I didn't like Percy, but he was a little bit of a conundrum to me. I mean, he's only twelve, right, so it's natural that he might be written to appeal to a younger audience than myself, but I have given my bff charm to 12-year olds before- namely the kids at Hogwarts, and a certain young woman by the name of Lyra . But Percy's really kind of snarky. Like, too snarky for a twelve year old, (see talky talk, below) which makes him seem older, and yet not. He just doesn't work for me. I'm not saying I'm writing him off completely, but I think I'd like to give him a few years to grow up a little. Maybe by the time he's 17, I'll totally take everything I just said back.

swoonworthy scale: 0

Although I might have rationalized crushing on a 15 year old in The Compound, 12 year-old romance is just ooky. (Except, somehow, in the His Dark Materials series, but I'll address that another time.)

talky talk: straight up but with an uneven tone

This book was entertaining and clever, all-in-all pretty well-written. That said, maybe it's just me, but it felt like Rick Riordan either couldn't figure out who his target audience was, or just didn't do a great job of balancing writing for both kids and adults. I am ALL FOR not dumbing things down for kids, and never underestimating your audience, but it seemed to me that Percy was obviously written BY an adult FOR kids, you know what I mean? So, although I will give him props for his idea that children of the gods are all dyslexic and suffer from ADD, and how he works that into the story, the book just didn't completely jive with me.

I will also admit that I read this book with full knowledge that the series is being compared to Harry Potter. It's kind of too bad for Mr. Riordan, because although that comparison has possibly increased the popularity of his series, I can't think of anybody- even Suzanne Collins- who would willingly want to be compared to J.K. Rowling. Because, invariably, that comparison is going to end up with you being the five year-old frozen McDonald's patty next to Ms. Rowling's fresh, juicy In N Out burger.

bonus factors: the gods!

The thing that appealed most to me was this factor. I mean, who doesn't love some Greek mythology? In fact, I could have used a whole lot more of these guys, and I hope they play a bigger role in the rest of the series.

casting call:

"logan lerman as percy jackson"

Since the movie's coming out soon, this thing has already been cast, and I honestly didn't picture anyone particular for Percy when I read the book. I will say the adult casting for the movie is pretty spectacular, but I'm not sure that will save it from suck.

relationship status: don't stand so close to me

Yeah, I feel like if I was this book's teacher, I would enjoy it in class, but I would never, EVER offer it a ride. Even if it was raining.