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CYOA: To Embrace Your Inner Buffy, Turn To Page 184

In Chapter 14 of FYA's Choose Your Own Adventure: High School Horror, it's time to channel channel all the Whedonverse heroes (along with some Real Housewives).

CYOA: To Embrace Your Inner Buffy, Turn To Page 184

I take issue with all of you! All of you! Why did you have to choose the scary option? Scary option is scary!! I'm a big weenie, hello!

Also I take issue with Meghan for even giving us a scary option to choose! Meghan! Never give people an option! Then they won't choose the wrong one! This is what North Korea has been doing for years and it's worked out fine.

Okay, here goes nothing. You guys chose:

A.  burst out from behind the tree, armed with nothing but a vaguely stake-ish tree branch, to create a diversion and save Jacob and Neil.

Meep!!

 

Crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap, you think to yourself as you survey the scene. Jacob's about to be found out, and you're pretty sure Kayleigh's going to give your presence away soon. What the hell are you supposed to do?

Create a diversion, says your inner voice. Save the day. Rescue your friends and kiss the boy. Best night ever.

Real Housewives of New York, states an even stronger inner voice. PJs. Raw chocolate chip cookie dough. That sounds like a better plan.

Shaking off your unhelpful voice, you pick up a thick tree branch from the ground. Time to be a hero, you think. A big, dumb hero.

"Hey, Finn!"

Finn and Heather both whip around at the sound of your voice, the shock evident on their faces.

"What the hell are you doing here, freak?" Ah, so Heather isn't going to bother trying the sugar-coated Finn approach.

"I came looking for Kayleigh." You figure if you state everything confidently enough, they'll just buy it.

"Oh yeah? What'd you do, follow her?" Heather smirks as she say it, while slowly advancing to stand between you and Kayleigh.

"Um, yeah. I did, actually."

Finn abandons his path to the poolhouse and sidles up to stand beside Heather. "How? How'd you follow her?"

This is SO not the time for Finn to grow a brain. Feeling a bit like you're drowning, you scan the area, hoping for an explanation to appear by magic. Your eyes zero in on Kayleigh's purse, discarded on the ground. Bingo.

"Loopt," you respond smugly. "You know, that app that lets you track your friend's location?"

Heather rolls her eyes and turns to Finn. "You didn't turn off her phone? Idiot!"

"Let me guess," you interrupt. "Kayleigh didn't come here willingly? Hardly surprising, given she's splayed out on the diving board. Um, plus, also she totally hates you both."

Man! I am on fire, you think to yourself. Obviously, Real Housewives taught me how to have attitude! If only I could slap someone!

Finn and Heather glance at each other and seem to realize a different tactic is needed. Finn walks closer to you.

"Hey, sweetheart," he coos, running his hand down your arm to bracelet your wrist. "Things are kind of crazy, huh? I know it may seem a little weird, all of us being here like this, but I promise I can explain. I've really been looking forward to seeing you, you know?"

You don't know what comes over you, really, except that you're kind of sick of every single guy in your life pretending like they're acting in your best interest. Especially when you're sure they're hiding something from you.

Gripping the branch in your other hand, you swing it at Finn's stomach, hard enough to cause him to double over, letting go of your wrist.

"You can quit with the bullshit, Finn. And I'm not your sweetheart."

You walk over to Heather, still holding your trusty tree branch.

"Now," you say, smiling genially. "I'm going to take Kayleigh, and we're going to get out of here. And whatever game you and Finn are playing, I promise, I will find out and I'll put a stop to it."

"Yeah," Heather smirks. "You and what army, freak?"

"Me," answers Jacob, emerging from the poolhouse.

"And me," says Neil, stepping into the backyard from the side of the house. Where the hell has he been hiding, you wonder.

"She's got me, too." This last statement is delivered in a weak mumble, as Kayleigh tries in vain to sit up.

"You?" scoffs Heather. "Please. Without my help, you'll be dead by sunrise."

You figure this is just more of Heather's BS, but Jacob gasps and Neil looks alarmed.

Great, you think. Now what?

"Did she - did she start the transformation?" This comes from Neil, who looks paler than usual.

"An hour ago," Heather replies smugly. "So you're too late, Golden Boy. Sorry, this one is His."

Neil shakes his head and looks down at his feet. "Come on," he mumbles to no one in particular. "We can't help her now."

You look at Jacob and see that he looks just as confused and angry as you feel. You can't just leave Kayleigh!

"Neil. Look, I don't know what's going on here - when I woke up this morning I thought the biggest thing that would happen is that I'd fail my English test. But I know that we can't just leave Kayleigh here."

Jacob reaches Kayleigh and gathers her into his arms. "She's right. I'm not leaving my sister here; I don't care what you say."

Neil glares at him and then shoots you a pleading look. "Don't you get it? You're too late! I'm too late! We can't help Kayleigh now. All we can do is try to save ourselves. You have to leave her here! She will kill you, and if she doesn't, He will!"

You look at Neil, then at Jacob, finally settling on Heather, who's still smirking. You know that you have to make a choice.

 

Do you:

A.  Go with Neil? If he's right, Kayleigh is now a danger, and she's lost to you anyways. Might as well try to figure out how to stop Heather and whoever this mysterious guy is.

B.  Stay with Jacob and Kayleigh? You can't abandon your friends.

C.  Punch Heather in the face? Just for kicks.

Next installment: Cue the Dramatic Music and Turn To Page 82

Erin Callahan's photo About the Author: Erin is loud, foul-mouthed, an unrepentant lover of trashy movies and believes that champagne should be an every day drink. When she isn't drowning in a sea of engineers for whom Dilbert is still uproariously funny, she's writing about books, tv, the cult of VC Andrews and more.
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