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The Great Peeta vs. Gale Debate (Final Round): Peeta = Riley

The final argument from Henri on the Great Peeta vs. Gale Debate, wherein he compares Peeta to Riley and Gale to Spike.

The Great Peeta vs. Gale Debate (Final Round): Peeta = Riley

Thanks for bringing up Lost, Erin. Because it's not that Katniss will become Claire at all. It's that Katniss is stuck in a cheesy love triangle of "Will she choose or will one of these boys die before she has to?" shit-for-plot situations that mirrors Lost perfectly. And also happens to mirror many other TV shows and classic love triangles of literature from days gone by. And using that model I don't even need to keep talking about why Gale rules and Peeta sucks, because many, many other stories have dealt with the same issues for centuries, and they've said everything I could possibly say with longer narratives.

And so, in the interest of saving time (and effort), let's break down this debate by presenting it as every other debate that's ever existed. Find your favorite love triangle interest and see where you fit in, because this breakdown is for fucking real:

Peeta = Riley. Gale = Spike.

Peeta = King Arthur. Gale = Lancelot.

Peeta = Roy. Gale = Jim.

Peeta = Noel. Gale = Ben.

Peeta = Luke. Gale = Han.

Peeta = Jack. Gale = Sawyer.

Peeta = Aidan. Gale = Big.

And I know, I know. Aidan was pretty great. And Peeta's a stand up guy, too. It's just that his love for Katniss isn't based on real love at all, and that makes them a volatile combination. That's the case with all of those other triangles, too. Of course, I think that deep down ALL of these love triangles come down to The One Who Objectifies You and The One Who's Actually Good For You. And there are times when it feels really good to be up on a pedestal. I get that. Some girls like to be treated like princesses. But Katniss isn't that kind of girl, no matter how much she likes twirling in pretty dresses.

In conclusion, feel free to be Team Peeta as much as you like. But you should really stop reading the Hunger Games series if that's your cup of tea, because I think you'd prefer sitting down with a nice Nicholas Sparks novel. I hear he's the best writer ever. Because based on every Nicholas Sparks novel I've ever heard about, that audience of stupid Peeta lovers is how he became rich.

Hmmm... I gotta stop writing argumentative essays on FYA and start writing Dear John 2! Erin, I think you'd totally love that shit. And I'd love to spend your money on producing the Hunger Games movies and making sure that the casting gets everything right...

In the meantime, you can totally have fun with Riley.


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Henri Mazza's photo About the Author: Henri has been the creative director at the Alamo Drafthouse for the past six years. He loves all things narrative whether they’re books, movies, comics, music videos, video games, or commercials that make him cry.