There is no YA character more deserving of a cocktail than Tiny Cooper-- the man, the myth, THE LEGEND. If you haven't read Will Grayson, Will Grayson then obvs you need to GET TO IT IMMEDIATELY. But if you have, you know that the Tiny Cooper cocktail can't be just any ordinary beverage. NAY. He's so magnificent, so incredible, so FLAMING that he deserves a drink that will knock yr pants off (I mean, the dude is his own bonus factor for goodness sake!).
Fortunately for all of us, John Green provided an excellent starting place with which to begin our mixology. Early in the book, a heartbroken Tiny seeks solace in some v. powerful shots at the faux Neutral Milk Hotel show. He describes the beverage, in true completely outlandish Tiny Cooper fashion, as tasting like "Satan's fire cock."
Well, obvs I considered that a scientific imperative, and I used that one amazingly colorful phrase to guide my attempts at fashioning the ultimate Tiny Cooper cocktail. And now, I invite you to step into my laboratory and watch as I engage in highly academic research:
And in case you don't have time for intellectual videos, here's a quick recap:
These are NOT the ingredients you want to use:
THE OFFICIAL FYA RECIPE FOR THE TINY COOPER
1. Fill a shot glass with:
• half cheapass tequila
• half Hot Damn (100 proof recommended)
• liberal dose of Tabasco
2. Tell Tiny Cooper you appreciate him.
3. SHOOT THAT SHIZZ.
4. Find Maura and burp on her.
I hope y'all enjoy the fruit of my labor. The v. v. flaming, rock-you-like-a-hurricane fruit. Just like Tiny Cooper!