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Faeries Wear Boots (and They’ll Kick Your Ass)

Maggie Stiefvater's Lament (from the Books of Faerie) wasn't really memorable for Jenny.

Faeries Wear Boots (and They’ll Kick Your Ass)

Book Report for Lament (Books of Faerie 1) by Maggie Stiefvater

BFF Charm: Nah
Swoonworthy Scale: 5
Talky Talk: Old Fashioned Fantasy
Bonus Factors: Kickass Gram, Mysterious Loner Dude, Duckie
Relationship Status: I Don't Think About You When You're Not Here, You Know

The Deal:

Deirdre Monoghan is a 16-year old harpist who lives in Virginia. We meet her as she is preparing to compete for something-or-other-musicy thing, and she's a bundle of nerves. Who should she meet, in the girl's bathroom, where she has just vomited her lunch, but Luke Dillon-- a boy she's never met before he held her hair while she was yacking, but whom she had a dream about the previous night. They flirt over the bowl, and then continue outside, where they begin playing music together--Deirdre on her harp, singing, Luke on his flute. It's the most beautiful thing Deirdre's ever played, so naturally, they compete together. But of course, there's something wicked this way coming, and Deirdre has to figure out who and what Luke is, (and if it matters, because she's so totally drawn to him), why she suddenly has the ability to make things happen, and how come Granna or her mom or her evil aunt never told her about the whole faerie thing?

BFF Charm: Nah

My reasons for not giving Deirdre my charm are a little harsh, but still, it's my charm- to give or not to give- so I'm saying 'nope'. Because for reals, the girl felt so VAGUE to me. And I think she'd make a terrible friend. Maybe because she hasn't HAD any real friends before. I mean, there's James, but we all know he's got deeper feelings than she does, so I say that one doesn't count. Anyway, I will say that some of the things that kept me from wanting to get a summer job with Deirdre at the ice cream shop are what make her a believable teenager. They can be kind of vague, and unreasonable, and know they should be doing one thing, but totally doing the exact opposite. After spending a week with my awesome 16-year old niece, I say with confidence that Steifvater nailed at least one type of teenaged-voice.

Swoonworthy Scale: 5

There are plenty of nice zingy moments, and I really enjoyed the banter between Deirdre and Luke, and Deirdre and James, but the ending? After all they'd been through? Come on!

Talky Talk: Old Fashioned Fantasy

Stiefvater writes in a truly traditional style that seemed to abound when I was reading fantasy as a kid, and for that, I have to give her props. I mean harpists? Flutes? Singing old Irish songs? I thoroughly enjoyed the genuine fantasy voice, but I'm very curious to know the demographic of kids (besides the SCA- are they even still around?) who will be reading this book today. (Or maybe she was writing it for us adults who read YA. If so, thanks, lady!)

Bonus Factor: Kickass Gram

The FYA Kickass Gram Award!

There's nothing like a good granny, and nothing says 'good granny' like one who pounds iron into jewelry in her workshop-- not to sell at the craft fair, but to wear as protection against faeries!

Bonus Factor: Mysterious Loner Dude

As far as the mysterious love interest goes, Luke Dillon is pretty alright. He's got all the bad-boy issues: thinks he's beyond redemption, totes makes out like a pro, no hope for the future... But he's loyal and fierce, and I liked that Stiefvater made him vulnerable-- it's not that he WANTS to be so mysterious, he literally CAN'T tell Deidre the truth--like, wolf-pack-style.

Bonus Factor: Duckie

James is the perfect Duckie--he's been Deirdre's ONLY friend for years and years. He's the super-charming cute boy buddy, who likes to be weird and silly. Even though he seemed a bit cliche' I couldn't help but like him. I mean, the boy's the #2 bagpiper in the state of VA!!

Should she choose him? Probably. Does she? Guess we'll have to wait and see...

Casting Call:

Kristen Stewart with her hair growing out from playing Joan Jett as Deirdre

I know most everybody probably just rolled their eyes, but it was all about the way Stiefvater described the choppy haircut that made me think of her.

Freddie Stroma as Luke

I keep casting this boy as my go-to bad boy blonde. Ahem. Movie execs, please follow suit.

Ryan Eggold as James

Mostly because I'd like to see him in a kilt. Playing bagpipes.

Relationship Status: I Don't Think About You When You're Not Here, You Know

Dear Book,

I really enjoyed reading you. Like, a lot. We had a nice couple of days where we'd get together, and you'd tell me your secrets. But I finished you about four days ago, and, um, haven't thought about you since. In fact, I kind of had to call you up to remind me what you were about so I could write this. Maybe you put some kind of faerie spell on me so I wouldn't really remember you, or maybe it has more to do with the cross-country move I just completed, or maybe, maybe I just don't think about you when you're not here. Sorry.

Jenny

Jenny Bird's photo About the Author: Jenny grew up on a steady diet of Piers Anthony, Isaac Asimov and Star Wars novels. She has now expanded her tastes to include television, movies, and YA fiction.
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