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If Wishes Were Horses, I’d Wish For a Different Crush

Meghan reviews You Wish by Mandy Hubbard, in which all of the main character's birthday wishes (inconveniently) come true.

If Wishes Were Horses, I’d Wish For a Different Crush

BOOK REPORT for You Wish by Mandy Hubbard

BFF Charm: Yay
Swoonworthy Scale: 2
Talky Talk: Basic Black with Hot Accessories
Bonus Factor: Toy Story
Anti-Bonus Factor: Motocross
Relationship Status: Just Friends

The Deal:

Kayla's 16th birthday really sucks. Her dad's been gone for years and her mom is a workaholic party planner who uses her birthday as an advertising opportunity, crafting the most heinous sweet sixteenth party that looks like someone at MTV vomited Pepto Bismol all over the place AND invited the school's queen Mean Girl and her mother. So when Kayla has to make her wish, she wishes for her birthday wishes to actually come true for once. Major oops -- because they do. From a real-life My Little Pony to being stalked by Ken in his dream car, she has to face a new wish coming true every day. To make matters worse, her bff is being a major weirdo, blowing her off to hang with her boyfriend -- who also happens to be Kayla's biggest crush, Ben. And her 15th-birthday wish? That Ben would kiss her. Oops.

BFF Charm: Yay

I'd totally sit with Kayla in the bleachers during pep rallies and bleat at the sheep-like popular kids, and I LOVE her idea of showing up at homecoming dressed in Halloween costumes! So when bff Nicole starts ditching her and dressing like a plastic and even sitting with them in the caf (!! Quelle horror!), I felt for her. I'd've stepped up to be her new bff and I'd even help her get rid of the lifetime's supply of gumballs. Also, I'd LOVE to hang out with her come-to-life Raggedy Ann doll cos that chick is hilarious.

Swoonworthy Scale: 2

Ok, so here I'm being totally unfair because the swooniness is pretty cute but I COULD NEVER, EVER CRUSH ON BEN BECAUSE HE'S A BMX-ER AND GELS HIS HAIR. You guys, this is like dealbreaker number 1. He'd be totally adorable if he didn't do motocross. He tells cheesy jokes and he's sweet and totally understands Kayla's anti-school-spirit snarkalicious attitude. But Y'ALL. Motocross. Gelled spiky hair. He probably smells like Axe Body Spray and I JUST.CAN'T.DO.IT. Cos if I can't crush on a guy along with the main character, there's no swooning for me.

Talky Talk: Basic Black with Hot Accessories

Blame my marathon shopping day yesterday for this talky talk description. Hubbard has a simple, straightforward style punctuated by hilarious one-liners and lotsa sass from Kayla. I loved the talky talk, except for those like 8 pages of motocross talk that I skimmed. That's like accessorizing with 3 scrunchies and a banana clip in a non-ironic-hipster way.

Bonus Factor: Toy Story

I loved how Kayla's childhood wishes involved My Little Pony, Ken of Barbie-and-Ken fame and Raggedy Ann. Hubbard's personification of a real-life Ken was funny but extremely scary -- I think I'd flip if I was walking to the library being stalked by a Ken doll in a yellow convertible.

Anti-Bonus Factor: Motocross

Can I have an anti-bonus factor? Well, I'm writing this, so I say yes. And that anti-bonus factor is MOTOCROSS. Good LORD I have no interest in dirt bikes and the only BMX-er I knew growing up was a total weirdo who was arrested for arson in high school. I love a good skater boy (especially a mysterious mallrat one), but dayum -- BMX is just too much for me. And to have one of the swooniest scenes in the book take place at the dirt bike track at night was simply a tragedy.

Casting Call:

Unfortch, Ben sounded kind of douchy looking. like this:

Matt Czuchry as Ben

I think Jena Malone would be great as Kayla, especially with the mohawk (even though Kayla didn't have a mohawk).

Jena Malone as Kayla

Relationship Status: Just Friends

You Wish, we had a nice first date. I even gave you another shot and went on a second dinner-and-a-movie date with you, but there just weren't major sparks. You're funny and pretty cute, but you have a few quirks that are fine in a friend, I just wouldn't be able to get past them to turn this into a serious relationship. I hope you are ok with being friends, cos I do like you a lot. just not in that way.

FTC Full Disclosure: My review copy was a free ARC I received from Penguin. I received neither money nor cocktails for writing this review (dammit!). You Wish is available now.

Meghan Miller's photo About the Author: Meghan is an erstwhile librarian in exile from Texas and writer for Forever Young Adult. She loves books, cooking and homey things like knitting and vintage cocktails. Although she’s around books all the time, she doesn’t get to read as much as she’d like.