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Two Households, Both Alike In Dignity, In Fair…Transylvania?

In sooth Jenny know not why Claudia Gabel penned Romeo & Juliet & Vampires.

Two Households, Both Alike In Dignity, In Fair…Transylvania?

BOOK REPORT for Romeo & Juliet & Vampires by Claudia Gabel

BFF Charm: Nay
Swoonworthy Scale: 3
Talky Talk: More Cowbell
Bonus Factor: All's Well That Ends Well
Relationship Status: 'Tis Not Thou, 'Tis Me

The Deal:

Fair readers, thou knowest best this tale of which I am 'bout to speak. Fair Juliet and her poor Romeo, blighted by the idiocy of youth, did cause trouble for all, and trouble for naught. They knew not what they did, for these two loved before they thought. But hark! O well-seeming forms and mis-shapen chaos! Entertain, if you will, a twist on this sad tale. For imagine, like this author did, if Capulet, and Montague as well, were transported unto the Carpathian Mount', where Capulets were all undead alike, and Montagues were hunters of their kind.

BFF Charm: Nay

I would not bide the encounter of Romeo, nor Juliet, tho' many love them troth. Methinks the two are asses. I' faith, I am bound altho', to impress upon you the improvements, in this story, to their characters made. Ne'er have I felt more fondness for these blighted lovers than whilst upon this telling I partook.

Swoonworthy Scale: 3

It is, perchance, mine own discrimination against this account which limits its affects upon my heart. Apart from Luhrman's visual narration, the telling of Juliet meets Romeo hast not given rise in me to swoon. If dispute me you may, in general about this tale, then this book for certain will beat in your breast. Forsooth, I just don't get it.

Talky Talk: More Cowbell

This author's prose spoke prettily and yet, when reading Romeo and Juliet my heart and mind want William's tongue. Gabel staid true to Shakespeare's feel, yet modernized its speech. For this the youth may take delight, but I, for one, missed wondering what the fuck he was on about. Gabel has made accessible, what I pleasure in uncovering, layer by layer, phrase by phrase. 'Tis no small feat, and many an audience will appreciate this great effort more than I.

Bonus Factor: All's Well That Ends Well

The ending is the thing. When love and loss all come to naught, and pointless, our hearts rend? Give me a twist, at least, if not a happy end.

Casting Call:

Good neighbors, these two have been cast before, and some say ne'er well. I will abstain from throwing in my lot, and let you picture, for yourself, Romeo and Juliet.

Relationship Status: 'Tis not thou, 'tis me

God's truth, dear Romeo & Juliet & Vampires, therein this world lies an audience, upon whom thou will bestow great pleasure. Be not sad that I withhold my ardor. I have no quarrel with thee. Hie you, go in peace, and live and love and be vampire. Cast your spell of 'and monster' upon a weary world, which as they read, consume. Renew old tales with what's hot nigh, and think no more of me.

FTC Full Disclosure: My review copy was a free ARC I received from Harper Teen. I received neither money nor cocktails for writing this review (dammit!). Romeo & Juliet & Vampires is now available.

Jenny Bird's photo About the Author: Jenny grew up on a steady diet of Piers Anthony, Isaac Asimov and Star Wars novels. She has now expanded her tastes to include television, movies, and YA fiction.
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