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The Vampire Diaries 2x5: Kill or Be Killed

A recap of The Vampire Diaries, episode 2x5, "Kill or Be Killed".

The Vampire Diaries 2x5: Kill or Be Killed

Alright people, after last week's return of Katherine and flashback fiesta, our livers need a break, but what does the CW have in store for us tonight? Will Caroline go all the way evil? Will Damon and Uncle Benicio fight? Will Stefan and Elena be able to take the pressures of being stalked by a centuries old vampire who just happens to look exactly like Elena, and who is also the reason they're together in the first place???

Oh man, I'm giving myself a headache. Thank goodness the 'previously on' is finished! Now it's time for the show!

Flashback! One year ago! Drink! (Thank you, CW!) Uncle Benicio is at a bar, and some dude accuses him of messing around with his girlfriend. Uncle Benicio says he didn't, but whatev,(Dude, can you blame her?) And the dude won't stop coming at him, so Uncle Benicio pushes dude real hard, and his head cracks open! Whoops. So that's how he became a werewolf. Poor Uncle Benicio. Give him the moon rock, Tyler. But Tyler doesn't give him the moon rock. What kind of game are you playing at, Tyler? Give the man his moon rock!

And, THE COPTEP returns! He can't believe Tyler is a werewolf. Elena tells him to chillax about all the supernatural stuff, then goes around the corner to be surprised by Stefan. Life is never dull with a sneaky vampire around to scare the bejezus out of you every few minutes. They talk about how they're fake-fighting to fool Katherine, and say some really sweet mushy stuff to each other. Let's have an awww. And drink cause why not?

Caroline and Mommy Sheriff are getting ready for another Mystic Falls founders thing, and Mommy Sheriff tries just being mom for a minute, but Caroline is NOT having it. Mom! I'm a full-grown vampire, now! Lay off!

And hello arms!

Stefan approaches Uncle Benicio to smooth things over, but Uncle Benicio isn't having it. It turns into threats. Come on, guys. Take off your shirts and be nice. Then, awesome Damon moment. Drink!

The COTEP is doodling at the Bronze, and some girl we've never seen talks about how cute he is, and the girl who flirted with Matt two episodes ago calls him damaged goods. He's not damaged goods, bitch, he's the COTEP!!! Anyway, the COTEP goes over to talk to Tyler, and they all decide to have a PARTAY at the dead mayor's house.

Uncle Benicio tries to talk to mommy sheriff about the council, and he tells her that the Salvatores are vampires! Whuh-oh! She says Damon is her friend, but then why is there fear in her eyes...

Caroline and Elena are painting something, and Caroline is complaining about her mom, and not-so-slyly asks how Elena and Stefan are. Elena feeds her some bull about how they're fighting. Meanwhile, Damon tries to say hi to Mommy Sheriff, but she gives him the cold-shoulder.

Then Elena and Stefan pretend break-up with Damon and Caroline listening in. Cut to PARTAY at the dead mayor's house with Tyler and the COTEP and the girl who flirted with Matt, and the new chick, and the COTEP shows them his sketch-book, and it's full of... wolves! Tyler attacks the COTEP, and the COTEP tells him he knows what Tyler is.

Mystic Falls: Where all the brothers love each other.

Then back at the founders thing, Damon tells Stefan he knows the fight with Elena is fake, and then takes a sip of lemonade, and chokes! OMG! Vervain! And Mommy Sheriff is watching! Then Caroline almost confesses to Elena about Katherine, but she sees her mom acting suspicious on the phone, and knows something bad is happening! OMG! Stefan and Damon have followed Uncle Benicio into the woods to 'confront' him about the vervain, (I don't know who I'm more worried about at this point) AND THEY GET SHOT!!! WHAT WHAT?!!!! Multiple times! By Mommy Sheriff and her deputies!

Mommy Sheriff: All these really attractive men keep wanting to be my friend... Man, this is just like high school...

Cut to the the COTEP and Tyler nicely discussing werewolfism. Aw, they're gonna be besties now! Or something.

Now Uncle Benicio is leading mommy sheriff into the cellar, where they're going to kill Damon and Stefan!!! Caroline and Elena are looking for the boys, but they run into Uncle Benicio! He says he'll tell Mommy Sheriff about Caroline's being a vampire, and threatens to snap Elena's neck. Then Caroline challenges him to a duel, and totally kicks his ass!!!!! Caroline! OMFG!!! BEST SCENE EVER!!!! You ROCK SO HARD!!!!! (And thank you for not killing him, btw.) For that, let's take a Drink!

It's at this point that my husband says that he thinks Uncle Benicio has a very sinister reason for being in Mystic Falls. But he's good, right?

Then Mommy Sheriff is torturing Damon, (have a sad) and he comes out with one of those heart-rending lines about friendship, but Mommy Sheriff is a hard ass, and just shoots him again. Thank goodness Elena busts up in the dungeon and hits one of the deputies with a board before being captured. Then the blur that is Caroline kills both the deputies before saying 'Hi Mom.'

Seriously, this actress rocks. Ever since she got turned, they seem to have her in some state of gore. Nobody wears fruit punch mouth like Caroline.

After Damon and Stefan are mostly recovered, Damon pretends he's going to kill Mommy Sheriff, but he doesn't, both for Caroline, and also because Mommy Sheriff was his friend. So they take her back to the Salvatore mansion.

Tyler tells the COTEP about the moon rock, and how he, like my husband, doesn't trust Uncle Benicio. Then the two lame girls come in and steal the moon rock, and Tyler tries to get it back, and one of the girls falls down the stairs.... and she's only fooling. Tyler, you're safe from the curse being triggered for one more episode.

Caroline shows up at the Salvatores', just in time to hear Mommy Sheriff saying how her daughter is gone now, and she doesn't want to see the new growed up vampire Caroline at all. Man, Mommy Sheriff, you suck. Then Damon is awesome.


Then Stefan walks by the freezer chest full of blood, and remembers last episode with Katherine and the vervain, and he figures he can pull a Westley, too, but with blood! Um, by drinking just a little bit of blood each day, so he WON'T be tempted to drink blood. Rruhuhuh? Sure, Stefan. That makes sense. To a heroin addict. Although his arguments about how he's weak because he only drinks animal blood are true.

Elena and Caroline have a heart to heart and we find out Caroline is helping Katherine because Katherine threatened to kill Matt! Aw, poor Caroline.

Uncle Benicio is leaving a message for Mommy Sheriff, and Tyler comes in and tells him about the girl on the stairs and gives him the moon rock! (Which, all of a sudden, I'm wondering is a good idea. Damn you, husband, for planting deductive reasoning in my brain!)

Now tell me, is this the face of a killer? Don't answer that.

Then Damon and Elena have a moment over Caroline's sleeping form, and he reminds her that Stefan needs human blood. So she goes into Stefan's study and tells him it's a good idea for him to have a few drops, and whoah! cuts her hand open and then he's eating out of the palm of her hand. (Sorry, I know that's lame, but I couldn't help myself.) Then they make out.

Then Uncle Benicio goes up to a car in the woods, and gets in. And Katherine is there!!! Flashback! Drink! Katherine was Uncle Benicio's girlfriend!!! What the what?!!!! She set it up! So the curse would be triggered! Ahhhh! Gene Parmesan Katherine, you got me again! drink! And now she has the moonstone she gave to George Lockwood all those years ago! And she's mad at him for trying to kill the Salvatores, which he thought she'd be pleased with. Oh, and they make out. Damn, Nina Dobrev! You are awesome! You get to make out with ALL the cute boys!

So what happens next week? How do we keep Matt safe, but Caroline out of Katherine's clutches? With Katherine kill Uncle Benicio now that he's fulfilled his purpose? Please no! Will Stefan's attempting a Westley work? And how much more awesome can they possibly make Caroline? 'Till next week, folks!

Jenny Bird's photo About the Author: Jenny grew up on a steady diet of Piers Anthony, Isaac Asimov and Star Wars novels. She has now expanded her tastes to include television, movies, and YA fiction.