Sup Harry Potter fans! To tide you all over until tomorrow when you will get Posh and Jenny's epic Deathly Hallows movie themed drinking game, feel free to pre-game your lovely selves here - Megan (no h)
Guess what? You are mere hours from what could possibly be the seventh most important movie release in the history of your lives. (Okay, let's be real, sixth most important, because nobody likes The Chamber of Secrets. Nobody. Trust me. Not Dobby, not Gilderoy Lockhart. Not even diary memory Tom Riddle. No one, ever.)
So to get you folks in the proper mood, I'm going to teach you a game (calling it a "game" is highly generous of me). It's simple enough for first years and can be played anywhere (car trips, train rides from King's Cross to Hogsmeade Station, waiting in line for a Harry Potter midnight movie releases, down time between professional Quidditch matches, really anywhere). All it takes is two or more muggles and simply this: naming the Harry Potter book characters, back and forth, until one person can no longer come up with a new name.
Now, there are hundreds of different characters throughout these books so the length of the game, its intensity and your enjoyment are going to differ based on your familiarity/obsession with the series. I suggest playing with someone (or someones) who is at your same level of fandom for maximum enjoyment/minimum frustration. Let me paint a picture of a scenario that has occurred several times in my life:
I'm drinking, somewhere for some reason. Most likely at a house party with a medium sized group of people. Someone makes the suggestion that we play Kings. Obviously I am with people I barely know as this game has never been suggested while drinking with real friends. I play. I sit impatiently as I wait with baited breath, hoping to draw a Jack or whichever card has currently been designated as "categories." And if I'm very lucky, at some point this will happen:
Me: draws jack from the pile, barely containing my excitement "Yes! YES! Categories!"
Other People: "What will it be?"
Me: acting like I didn't have this in mind the entire time "Ooooh, I don't know...how about...Harry Potter characters?"
* audible groan *
Me: "Okay, since I start, how about Terry Boot!"
* crickets chirp *
Me: nearly delirious with excitement and anticipation "next!"
Guy to my right who picked the last category (car brands, obvy): "Hermione."
Guy to the right of him who drank when the Never Have I Ever question was about having procured a prostitute: "Harry Potter."
Girl sitting to the right of him who probably has read the books/seen the movies but would never want to seem 'nerdy' in case that somehow prevents her from hooking up with these fabulously choice gentlemen: "Oooh, I don't know." shurggs. drinks.
Really? REALLY? You cannot name a single other character? It is too hard to think of ONE OTHER PERSON??? You clearly just don't care. Do not be that person. You make me lose all faith in humanity. Truly, your apathy means the
terrorists Death Eaters have won. This scenario has played itself out similarly several times. Clearly I just don't learn. I have never, ever gotten to name a second name.
Obviously some part of me has always wanted to combine my superior Potter knowledge and alcohol. And I believe today is that day. And since this is FYA after all, I am upgrading the aforementioned naming game and letting it live up to it's full potential. So spike your pumpkin juice, sneak a bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhisky, or grab a tankard of Butterbeer and magically prep your livers for...
The Three Broomsticks presents: the Official Harry Potter Drinking Name Game
Number of Players: 2 to infinity
Summary: Name Harry Potter character names* until one of more people cannot name anymore. Last one standing is declared the winner.
*Characters can refer to any sentient being in the Potter-verse. Wizard, living, dead, ghost, animal, etc. Names should be full names, where applicable (exceptions include those most often referred to as something else, e.g. Professor, Madam, etc)
• Whenever a player (not yourself) names a character, take a drink.
• If you name a character that has already been named, you must finish your drink.
• Players have 30 seconds to name a new character. At the end of 30 seconds, players can forfeit (either ending the game or leaving the remaining players to finish) or take a shot to earn an extra minute and a half on the time clock.
• Players may use the shot/time extension as many times as they like, including back to back on the same round**
• Once a person forfeits, the next player must name another name to continue play and/or win.
**while the option is unlimited, you can see why abusing this choice would have, err, diminishing returns to say the least
• If you name someone whose last name is Weasley, you must take a drink as well
• If you name Dumbledore's full name (yes, all 5), all other players must take a shot
• If you name a character whose name only appears in supplemental Harry Potter canon (i.e. Quidditch Through the Ages or Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them), all other players must take a shot
• If you name Madam Rosmerta, you must finish your own glass but you are allowed to designate someone as the beer wench, who must refill drinks when asked
The more obsessed you are with Harry Potter, the more intoxicated you'll become. If that isn't win-win, I don't know what is. Now if only Madam Pomfrey has some kind of hang over cure. That would be win-win-win. So what are you waiting for? Get your Harry Potter on.
Bonus! - If you'd like to get a little advance practice to see where you stand, name-wise, this quiz is one of the best out there. After you've taken it, you can see how you're doing on this handy chart I've made:
200 - A perfect score, really? You didn't forget anyone, at all? Unless you're this guy, I don't believe you. You're a cheater and a liar and you belong in Slytherin. And on an internet quiz, no less. GOOD DAY SIR.
151-199 - O (Outstanding) - You're a goddamn superstar. You're copies of the books are most tattered and well loved. You're probably an active participant in Harry Potter fandom to this day. Maybe you've dabbled in some HP fanfic (Harry/Draco slash, perhaps?) or maybe you even ran your own ill conceived Harry-Hermione shipper website at one point. HP is probably still your top obsession. You are a force to be reckoned with.
100-150 - E (Exceeds Expectations) - Maybe you aren't as into the fandom anymore, but you definitely were at one point. You probably have a Hogwarts costume buried in your closet somewhere. Chances are you have Harry and the Potters and other wrock on your iPod. HP is important to you, but you have other obsessions as well.
50-99 - A (Acceptable) - You are the resident Harry Potter expert for most of your friends and family. You go releases at midnight releases but probably never got it up to be a part of the HP internet community.
25-49 - P (Poor) - A regular fan. You've read the books and like the movies. You get excited by the book/movies releases but don't think much about Harry outside of that.
16-24 - D (Dreadful) - You've probably only seen the movies. That said, read the books right now, WHAT IN DUMBLEDORE'S NAME ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
1-15 - T (Troll) - This is terrible. This means you didn't even manage to type in "Potter" or "Weasley" for the automatic 16 points. Shame. Really. What are you doing on the internet? Can you even read?