I could have sworn is was just recently the nineties, but I have been told that the year twenty eleven is just around the corner. And nothing heralds in a new year better than making resolutions that you will in no way keep. Sure, I often think is would be nice to eat healthier or make a pledge to exercise. Or take up a sport. Or some type of movement involved activity. I mean, really anything that gets me out of my desk chair - bocce ball, badminton, shuffleboard, really anything would be an improvement to my current state of atrophy. However, this never happens and to be perfectly honest, will probably never happen. It's not just that I have no will power, it's that I lack the desire to even want that sort of will power.
But since I won't be making any resolutions for myself, I thought it might be nice to make resolutions for other people. Because if there's one thing I excel at, it's sitting back and passing judgment on anyone but myself. That said, I've put together a list of New Year's Resolutions that I'd like to see YA authors make and actually stick to for the year 2011.
Less love triangles. Or, specifically, less love triangles that center around a our female protagonist and two males who love her for inexplicable reasons. And please don't let one of those males be a boy next door type while the other is most definitely a bad boy. How about a love rhombus? Or a love cube?! I'm not sure how that works, but you're authors, so you'll figure it out.
No more pulling an Angelus.* And by that I mean, stop turning the main love interest evil by some means outside of their control (vampire bite, tracker-jacker venom, whatever.) In fact, here's an idea - instead of 'turning evil' - just have the love interest turn into an asshole. In real life, that happens, a lot!
*to be fair, a true Angelus would occur subsequently after losing one's virginity
More strong female characters. And for the last time, physically strong does not equal strong character. Just because a girl has superpowers, super strength, magic or a mean round house kick to the face does not mean she has a strong or well developed personality. I want to see strong in character, morals, convictions, spirit, ideals, sense of self-worth, etc!
I hope Suzanne Collins resolves to start working on a new book or series, preferably in a slightly different genre, because I want to see what she does next.
Now my final resolution might earn my some flack but I SAY THIS OUT OF LOVE. JK Rowling should resolve... to stop talking about Harry Potter. Blasphemy, I know! But hear me out! Harry Potter spanned a good decade of our lives, but it ended, it's over. JK is like the ex boyfriend who drunk dials you every year or so to say they wished you still talked to each other or that they don't know where it all went wrong. She told us seven books. She always said seven books. Don't go on to Oprah and temp us with a possible eighth or ninth book!!!!! Or tell us who is or isn't gay. Stop stringing us along! JK, you dumped
I could go on forever with more resoltutions, but I'll spare you. However, I asked the lovely FYA ladies to take a pause from their week long New Years Eve pre-game and offers up some resolutions they'd like to see some YA authors make as well.
Erin suggests that:
Meg Cabot should resolve to eat brunch with us more.
Brian Katcher should resolve to recruit other men, besides his fellow friend Antony, to our blog. Even though "ladies and Brian" is my favorite way of addressing people, and I often fear I'll slip up and say it during a training session at work.
All authors attending BEA should resolve to attend at least one of our cocktail panels!!
Uh, hello YA authors, she just wants to bask in the glow of your awesomeness, is that really too much to ask? And while you're at it, can you hang out with me too? Please? Errm, moving on.
Jenny has two humble requests:
More authors should resolve to write really good books about everyday teenagers (i.e. Slow down the fantasy train!)
Authors should be kind to animals... But not go to the opposite end of the spectrum by being too kind. (I'm looking at you, Patrick Ness and Maggie Stiefvater.)
I wholeheartedlysecond the latter of those two. Please authors, resist the urge to hurt animals. It is a cheap way to destroy my soul so STOP IT.
Now, Meghan would like:
YA authors should resolve to write more books from boys' perspectives - there's nothing like getting into an adorable boy's
pants brain to up the swoon.
YA editors should take a good look at a story and its characters rather than just jumping on the latest trend train - the last thing we need is another crappy story about vampire zombie dystopias.
And last but not least, Posh kindly asks that:
All YA authors should resolve to use nice, normal names for their characters because I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS WEIRD MADE-UP SHIZZ.
All YA authors should resolve to form some kind of union so that they can harness their collective bargaining power and tell publishers to STOP WITH THE HEINOUS COVERS. also, they should make, like, union t-shirts and koozies. Because that would rule.*
Patrick Ness should resolve to be nicer to his readers. Pretty please? Our collective hearts need a break, dude. That or a defibrillator.
Sarah Dessen should resolve to continue being the cutest thing EVER on her Twitter account. And all of you should resolve to follow her if you don't already: @sarahdessen.
*OMG WE ARE SO MAKING FYA KOOZIES.
And I resolve to drink a goddamn champ can out of one of those koozies. Want now please!
So what resolutions have you all made for yourself? Besides READ MOAR YOUNG ADULT FICTION which is certainly one resolution I am planning on keeping, fer sure. And what resolutions would you make for your favorite (or least favorite) YA authors? Since many YA authors read this site (hi Brian) hopefully we can shame encourage them to follow our advice.