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Don’t Drop the Soap

Posh is in it for the long haul with Sapphique, the second installment of Catherine Fisher's Incarceron series.

Don’t Drop the Soap

BOOK REPORT for Sapphique (Incarceron Book 2) by Catherine Fisher

Cover Story: Not Too Shabby
BFF Charm: Nay and Yay
Swoonworthy Scale: 2
Talky Talk: Straight Up Fantasia
Bonus Factors: Rise of the Machines, Royal Intrigue
Relationship Status: Ball & Chain

If you haven't read Incarceron, I would highly suggest skipping this review, going to the library, reading it in one sitting and then coming back here so we can convo because OMG ISN'T IT THE COOLEST?

Cover Story: Not Too Shabby

Sure, it kinda screams "I LOVE FANTASY WANT TO SEE MY ARWEN NECKLACE?" but the overall design is pretty sweet. There's all kinds of symbolism going on, but even a person ignorant of the storyline would probably be intrigued enough to lean over and ask you what it's about. To which you should proudly respond, "It's YA and it's AWESOME," obvs.

The Deal:

As Incarceron drew to a swift and dramatic close, Finn, aka the newly discovered Prince Giles, escaped to the Outside with Claudia to claim the throne and free society from the chains of Protocol (not to mention free prisoners from the actual chains of Incarceron). Unfortunately, they had to leave Attia and Keiro behind, especially since Keiro's identity as part-machine was revealed. Within the first few pages of Sapphique, it's painfully obvious that both pairs face insanely daunting tasks. With Claudia's help, Finn must outmaneuver the crafty Queen Sia, who is determined to prove him an impostor, a job made easier by Finn's acute depression over leaving Keiro behind. With the Clan of the Steel Wolf also gunning for the monarchy, the only person Claudia and Finn have in their corner is Jared, and let's just say the dude is not in any shape to fight.

Meanwhile, two months have passed in the prison, and Kerio and Attia have split paths, both in search of the legendary glove of Sapphique. Some CRAZY SHIZZ happens to them, and obvs I don't want to spoil it for you, but if you thought the prison was mean in the first book, just wait until you see it in action now. THE BITCH IS BACK, Y'ALL. And it wants the same thing as its inhabitants: to escape!

Also WATCH OUT FOR THE CHAIN-GANG.

BFF Charm: Nay and Yay

I am sorry to say this, esp. since I liked them in the first book, but I AM SO OVER CLAUDIA AND FINN RIGHT NOW. Gah. Look, I'm sure that Finn's guilt over leaving Keiro behind is, like, way worse than the time I forgot to call my mom on Mother's Day, but dude, SHAPE UP OR SHIP OUT. I get that you're a teenager, but that doesn't mean I have to enjoy your daily schedule of:

Morning: Throw Tantrums
Afternoon: Emo-ishly Gaze At the Lake
Evening: Cry About It Because You're a Pussy

It's enough to drive a girl straight into Biotch Town, which is exactly where Claudia goes. I understand her frustration, but seriously, Claudia, RISE ABOVE.

Thankfully, there is still a character I love in this book, and her name is Attia "Badass" McGee. Ok, I just made up that last name, because Attia doesn't really have one, but the "Badass" part is all kinds of double true. She's got the strength of Katniss, the gumption of Scout Finch and the likability of Viola, and now my right arm has a disproportionate amount of muscles due to all of the fist pumping I did on her behalf. Which is perfect, actually, because now I can facepunch Finn super hard. THANKS ATTIA.

Swoonworthy Scale: 2

I'm really proud of Catherine Fisher for resisting the urge to add more romance to these books, unlike SOMEONE we know whose name rhymes with Suzanne Collins. There's definitely some hints of feeling, but it's clearly overshadowed by the intensity and magnitude of the plot. I was so wrapped up in the action, I didn't once wonder where the smoochies were, and THAT, my friends, is a sign of good storytelling.

Talky Talk: Straight Up Fantasia

Fisher continues spinning wonderful magic with very simple words. Her writing is direct, with just enough description to help you understand the new things and concepts she's created. The pacing in this book is ON FIRE, even more so than Incarceron, and I found myself gasping out loud to the point that I wondered if it was possible to give oneself asthma.

Bonus Factor: Rise of the Machines

The consciousness of Incarceron continues to be mothercussing creepy, and its growing desire to escape single-handedly passed the No Fingernails Left Behind act. Again, I'm trying to avoid spoilers, but I will leave you with two words: marionette puppet. SOMEONE HOLD ME.

Bonus Factor: Royal Intrigue

Tra la la, who doesn't love a good battle of wits that begins with the wave of a fan and ends with someone's execution? And afterwards, finger sandwiches and tea for everyone! Nobody schemes quite like the royals, and this book is packed with juicy secrets, shadowy figures and oh-so-polite power plays.

Casting Call:

I cast most of the main characters in my Incarceron review, although ONCE AGAIN Hollywood refuses to heed my genius because they went and chose Taylor Lautner to play Finn. Look, guys, there's already going to be copious amounts of Male Chest Porn in this film since Ryan Reynolds will be playing Keiro. He WILL be playing Keiro, won't he? WON'T HE?

I still need to cast Attia, and given her sheer amount of awesome, I had to go with:

Hailee Steinfeld as Attia

Relationship Status: Ball & Chain

While Incarceron and I are cellmates for life, my relationship with Sapphique runs even deeper. We're chained together by love, and while it occasionally annoys me, as spouses do, I'm committed to it, through thick and thin. Even on its darkest days, it makes me feel alive, and I know that our marriage will never grow stale, because this book always insures that SOMETHING INSANE IS HAPPENING. It also scares the pants outta me, which means that I'll always be the one who has to clean the bathroom. Oh well. That's a small price to pay for a lifetime of adventure together.

FTC Full Disclosure: I received my review copy from Penguin. I received neither money nor cocktails for writing this review (dammit!). Sapphique is now available.

Posh Deluxe's photo About the Author: Sarah lives in Austin, TX, where she programs films at the Alamo Drafthouse. Sarah enjoys fancy cocktails, dance parties and anything that sparkles (except vampires).