Greetings TVD fans! It's George, Jenny's husband with the man crush on the Salvatore bros. Jenny is stuck working late at her much less exciting day job so she's given me the re-capper mantle for this week. I'm very honored.
And what an ep we have in store! Angel-style flashbacks galore showing us all the naughty stuff Stefan did in his wild, conscience-free vamp youth -- and how devilishly handsome and well-coiffed he looked while doing it.
Still on their woodsy weekend getaway at the Gilbert lakehouse, looks like Elena's settled in for some light reading with the musty old Gilbert journals she and Stefan just discovered in her parents' vampire panic room. And... instantly into flashback: Drink! Jonathan Gilbert narrates as we see an old timey, very tense, yet very boring Gilbert family dinner. Old man Gilbert tells us they wiped out all the vampires and the town is now safe... or so they thought. Seems the old monsters "begat" a second generation of monsters, and one of them is creeping up to their porch!
Lady Gilbert thinks she hears a noise outside and starts to dither. The men reassure her that the vamps are all gone, wiped out in the church fire. But, they go outside to check just in case.
George: We can tell it's the old times by the beards and the use of the words "begat" and "shall." It was all begat-ing and shall-ing back then.
Outside, the Gilbert men search out the noise. Olde Jonathan pulls out his mystical vamp compass to prove to Thomas there aren't any bloodsuckers out tonight. Except the compass goes all crazy like it's in the Bermuda Triangle of vampness. Then a vamp whooshes in and picks off Tom and then Lady of Hysteria Gilbert. And just as the fiend is closing in on Jonathan, he says he knows the vampire that killed him. It was... STEFAN SALVATORE!!
George: Wait, did he write this part of the journal as a ghost or something? How else did he get killed and then write about that night?
Back to the present. Elena gazes over her reading material and catches a glimpse of Stefan hanging out by the dock. Could he really be the same person? He's so gentle now and looks so handsome in the sun...
George: Girl, maybe you should read that stuff in the safety of the panic room.
Out on the dock, Stefan gets a call from Damon who gives an awesome recap of his routine that morning so... Drink! Damon also tells Stefan the news that Tyler Lockwood ran away from home last night and therefore their werewolf problem is solved... and now on to killing Young Harry Hamlin!
George: Reporter, part of every well-balanced breakfast.
"La-di-da, just out for a stroll with the architectural diagrams for the entire town in my bag... "
Meanwhile, back in town, Young Harry Hamlin is on a historical tour with aunt Jenna. He tells her Mystic Falls was actually founded much earlier than everybody thinks by people from... Salem, Massachusetts! Then Alaric shows up, 'cause he's such a "history buff" too. Some serious dude posturing ensues between them, but YHH busts out a funny and breaks the tension -- what?!? Drink!
At the Bronze, Bonnie and JJ meet up for the first time since they hooked up(!). Bonnie says she's been thinking about last night. JJ smiles all proud. Turns out she meant the other magic that night though... when they abducted and coerced info out of Luca. Seems it took a lot out of her. JJ is put off for a sec, but then he suggests they get together to "practice" and get "stronger." He totally means more making out -- and they both know it. In walks Luca. He's pissed about his magical abduction even though he can't remember any of it. He tries to intimidate Bonnie but damn, JJ stands up and tells him to step off. Drink!
Back at the Lakehouse, things are all awkward between Elena and Stefan due to her whole plan to be a martyr and Stefan coming off as a monster in Jonathan Gilbert's journal. Stefan tells Elena they were mad at the Founders for what they did to Catherine and, yeah, he was a monster. He wants Elena to know the truth, but he wants her to hear it from him and... flashback! Drink!
George: Good, enough with that book learnin'!
It's the old days and Stefan is living it up like some blood-crazed Casanova with a house full of tasty maidens eager to be eaten. But wait, Damon is there and he's not cool with the whole chowing down on maidens bit, what with the whole town out to destroy every vampire and all. He even compels the girls to leave! Then he vows to leave to Stefan to his own destructive self.
Fruit punch mouth never looked so sexay...
Back in the present, Damon and Alaric are having another meeting of the Handsome Club along with Damon's new reporter girl toy/juicebox. Alaric is telling them about his meeting with aunt Jenna and YHH earlier. They both detect a note of jealousy about Jenna hangin' historical with YHH. Then, they both walk into the Bronze. Awkward. Everybody's uncomfortable and Alaric gives his "papers to grade" excuse and tries to escape. But not so fast, Alaric. The Juicebox suggests they all have a dinner party to talk about history! Tonight! Fun!
But before the dinner party, Damon stops by the crypt to see Catherine. She's looking crusty and comatose, but the bottle of blood he's brought perks her right up. He even brought her some fresh clothes -- what a gent! Then he pulls an awesome by telling her that the blood must've done the trick 'cause she's "almost pretty again."Drink!
He hits her up for confirmation on John Gilbert's tip about killing an original recipe V. She's dubious until he mentions the actual white oak ash/dagger combo, then she gets really scared because if they kill YHH while she's down there she's stuck there for eternity! She promises him anything if he gets her out before doing the deed, but Damon is awesome saying that if he lets her out she just going to be on a beach somewhere sipping "Klaus-free margaritas." then blows her off because she's told him everything he needs to know. Drink!
At the Lakehouse, Stefan and Elena share some coffee and continue with the flashbackery. Drink! The Civil War. Stefan is snacking on the wounded (gross!), then he sees a lady figure in the woods and follows her. He's going to eat her, but turns out she's a vampire too... and that's how he met Lexie. Nice to see you again. He brings her home to his bachelor blood pad and you can tell by her dismay at his housekeeping and killing style she's going to get all Mary Poppins and whip him into proper vampire shape.
George: And to think, a hundred years later they'd be going to Bon Jovi concerts together.
At the impromptu dinner party, the Juicebox and aunt Jenna make with the girltalk and Jenna confides that she's a little suspicious of Alaric these days. Meanwhile, the Handsome Club meets again. Let's Drink! to that, shall we? Alaric says the party is a bad idea, and Damon says my new favorite line ever: "There are no bad ideas, just poorly executed awesome ones." Drink! Alaric says he's ok with the party, but only as long as Damon doesn't try any scheme that puts Jenna in harms way. Damon agrees and, after Alaric leaves the room, he proceeds to plot out with the Juicebox his scheme that will totally put Jenna in harms way. The doorbell rings and who could it be? Uncle-Daddy Sark! He can't resist crashing a good dinner party where Mystic Falls history will be discussed and vampires might be slain.
George: He is totally re-gifting that wine from the last dinner party he got kicked out of.
Across town, Bonnie shows up at JJ's for their "practice" and -- surprise -- he's got the place tricked out like full on love den! George (as JJ): I know girls like candles and witches like candles, so I got two times the candles 'cause you must like them twice as much!
Oh, but no dice, JJ. Bonnie wants to hold off on the smoochie time until she's gotten the OK from Elena about them being together... so they just settle in to practice witchy stuff.
Ain't no dinner party like a dinner party with Young Harry Hamlin...
Ding dong! YHH shows up at the dinner party. He warns Damon that if he has any plans of crossing him better disclose them now or he'll kill everybody in the house if something happens. Then, he turns on the charm for "Jennahhh" and they all make lively conversation about Mystic Falls history and witch BBQ.
George: YHH, Damon, Alaric and Sark at the table? Now it's a Handsome Club convention!
Back at the Lakehouse, Elena and Stefan are still poring over the Gilbert journals and discover olde Jonathan Gilbert's research about how to kill an Original, confirming again what Uncle-Daddy Sark told Damon was true. But wait, there's a catch, ONLY a human can wield the weapon! It backfires if another vamp tries to do it!
Stefan tries to call Damon to warn him, but the dinner party is still in full swing with Damon breaking out the cognac course and only moments to go before he takes a stab at YHH! Meanwhile, Alaric and Daddy Sark are dude posturing in the hallway and DS demands his ring back again. They just glare at each other and then Alaric's phone rings. It's Stefan!
Damon and YHH have already retired to the library and it looks like Damon's going to go through with his plan! Over aperitifs Damon snarkily lists off all junk YHH is looking for, including the moonstone Drink! YHH also admits finding the old witch burial ground is important to him too.
George: The moonstone was sooo the first part of this season, it's all about the burial ground now.
And just as Damon is about to make his move, Alaric comes in and saves the day with charades and a Post-It note! Yay! They adjourn to the dining room for desert where YHH makes it clear to Damon and DS that he's the one in charge. And then... WHOLLY EFFING SHIZZZ ALARIC COMES OUT OF NOWHERE AND STABS YHH!!! You are now President of the Handsome Club!! Dri...no, CHUG!! And then he is even more awesome. Drink!
"Yes, that's right. I AM President of the Handsome Club."
Back at the Lakehouse, Stefan and Elena argue about her life choices. Drama. And... flashback! Drink! Looks like Lexie has taken on Stefan as her padawan. She explains the power of love, and you wonder if there was ever some sexy with Lexie. In the present, Stefan tells Elena she could be a contender if she just keeps fighting. Elena has a sad Drink!
At the most awesome dinner party ever, the Handsome Club has dragged YHH's body into the handy Salvatore dungeon where Alaric has a heart-to-heart with Damon about friendship.
At the Lake House, Stefan shares the news. Big relief. Then, they go back to reading the journal and Elena turns the page and NOOOOO... HE ONLY STAYS DEAD IF THE DAGGER STAYS IN PLACE!!! Stefan vampire speed dials Damon and, sure enough, the dungeon is EMPTY!!
Elena, girl, ALWAYS finish the whole passage!
YHH shows up a Luca's dad's house and tells him to find Elena stat!
At JJ's Casa of Love and Candle Emporium, Bonnie demonstrates how she can flame on and flame off. And then Luca's dad busts up in there demanding to know what Luca told her. She says she want to help Poppa Wizard get his daughter back. But he starts talking in witchy tongue and casts a spell on her... taking her powers away!
At the Lakehouse, YHH arrives and he knocks the door down with his trademarked handful stones trick. YHH and Elena have a standoff in which she threatens to kill herself and he tries to calls her bluff but she STABS herself in the gut and proves him wrong! Drink! He promises to honor their deal again and approaches AND THEN SHE EFFING STABS HIM WITH THE ORIGINAL RECIPE-KILLING DAGGGER !!! Drink! Elena's got balls, fo' sho! And then Damon is awesome Drink!
Back at Elena's house, Aunt Jenna confronts Alaric about Isobel. He can't quite tell her the truth, and so she has a sad Drink! Daddy Sark shows up to gloat. Alaric relents and gives him the ring back.
We haven't had an obligatory Salvatore Brothers shot in a while. Now I want me a sandwich.
At the Salvatore's, Damon and Stefan stash the dead again YHH in the dungeon, and they find the moonstone Drink! Elena tells them both to stop keeping things from her. And, flashback Drink! It's a moment between Damon and Lexie, and she's wearing a little Mary Poppins-esque hat. That calls for a Drink!
And finally, up in Damon's spacious bathroom, he finds Katherine taking a shower. Yeah, killing YHH released her from his compulsion. And yeah, she kind of tricked Damon into doing it. She explains this nekkid, she asks for a robe and Damon just gawks. I'll Drink! to that.
Wow, Jenny here! So this episode turned out to be about a LOT more than just flashbacks!!! I gotta say, it didn't feel anything like the USUAL flashback-themed episodes on shows. (Not-mentioning-any-names-but-cough-Angel-cough.) And there sure was a whole lot of stabbing!!!
So will YHH stay dead this time? And hallelujah! Katherine's back!!! I'm ready for some more awesome Nina Dobrev! And what about Alaric?!!!! He NEEDS another ring of invincibility!!!! Now I'm going to spend every episode worried about him even more!!! What do you guys think? Will they end up resurrecting YHH at some point? Will Bonnie get her powers back? Is Sark working with Katherine, and if so, WHAT is their plan?!!!!