Happy Friday, fans of The Vampire Diaries! Are you all set to welcome the president of the Handsome Club back with open arms, now that he's unharmed (we hope) and un-possessed by an also handsome original vampire? And what's going to happen with those Salvatore boys, now that the cat's (pun intended) out of the bag about their feelings for Elena? Which brings me to Nina Dobrev... Seriously, you guys, she is the hardest working actress in television, and I don't mean that in the 'she tries so hard, but has no real range', like some girls. No, Ms. Dobrev is kicking so much ass this season in her duplicitous roles that I can't wait each week to see what she'll do next!
So without further ado, I present to you the recap of The Last Day...
And we have a SHIRTLESS SALVATORE!!!! Right out of the gate! Drink! Poor Damon is having a sad, shirtless in his bed. Drink! Downstairs, YHH is explaining the whole fake curse-thing to Elena and Stefan. Aha! Damon has been listening! So he joins in the plannin'. There is mention of the moonstone Drink! and the witches Drink! and a werewolf, and the final ingredient: Klaus must drink the blood of the doppelganger Drink! to the point of her death! Oh noes! But wait! YHH has an elixir that will bring her back to life! But Damon thinks that the elixir is past its expiration date, since it was made for Katherine, originally, and he stalks off.
George: I'm going to go brood in my room without a shirt on some more...
Now where is Klaus going to get a werewolf? Oh look! Dead Mayor's wife is leaving a message of lies for Tyler! House boy compelled her! And this is why we should never lie, kids, because the house boy then makes her lie come true! And what a spectacular fall down the stairs THAT was! Damon is having some scotchy scotch scotch for breakfast, and Stefan tells him that they have to trust Elena's judgement on all of this, but Damon is not moved. Meanwhile, YHH tells Elena that there is a chance that the elixir won't work. Maybe it is expired. Then we hear something in the other room, and it's Jenna! She has a crossbow trained on Alaric!!! PUT THE CROSSBOW DOWN, AUNT JENNA!!!!! Is it Alaric? Oh, please let it be Alaric! He says Klaus let him go. Then he is awesome. Drink! He tells them the sacrifice happens tonight.
In the hospital, Dead Mayor's wife wakes up from that awful fall she took and Tyler's there! She's happy. I'm not sad, but I can't really say I missed him. At the Bronze, Caroline surprises Matt, and she's happy, but he's carrying on with the charade Mommy Sheriff put him up to. He talks to said Mommy Sheriff, who is a lying liar who lies, filling his head with bad vibes towards vampires in general and Damon, specifically. Then she dismisses him. Oh Matt, somehow I think you're going to at least try to save the day, and for that, I still love you.
"Hi, I'm Mommy Sheriff... " Hate... hate... hate...
Back at the Salvatore's the president of the Handsome Club is getting filled in on his deeds while he was Alaric/Klaus. Elena goes up to talk to Damon. She tries to convince him that her plan will work. There is some intense eye contact and hand holding. Drink! Then he has an epiphany and bites open his wrist and forces her to drink it! So she'll come back as a vampire if she dies! But what if that prevents the elixir from working, Damon? Did you think of that? Stefan comes in and throws Damon across the room. He asks Damon how he could make the decision to turn her into a vampire without consulting her. They start fighting! OMG!!! Salvatore fight!!! Drink!
George: Shirts. Off!
Then Damon stakes Stefan! Bad! Elena sends Damon out of the room, and YHH tells him what I suspected, that the elixir is now rendered useless. And also that Elena will never forgive him. Stefan drinks the blood cupcake that Aunt Jenna brought him, since he built up a resistance to iocane powder and can drink human blood again, (Yay! Aunt Jenna, you're one of the Scoobies now!) and then Jenna and Alaric have a moment in the hallway. She's glad Alaric's okay! We are, too, Aunt Jenna. WE. ARE. TOO.
George: But now you know this means one of them's going to die.
Jenny: Shut up, George.
And there are smoochies! Drink! Being in the know has made Jenna all sorts of awesome. Upstairs, Stefan convinces Elena to take a day trip with him. At the hospital, the weremilf tells Tyler he needs to go someplace safe. Hmmm, maybe the weremilf knows about the sacrifice? Caroline shows up in time to say goodbye, and then is downed as the house boy gives both of them a migraine! Oh NO!! Caroline can NOT be the vampire sacrifice!!! Do you hear me, CW?!!!! At the Bronze, Alaric joins Damon,
George: Let's call this meeting of the Handsome Club to order.
...who is just now realizing how badly he messed up with Elena, and surprise! Klaus shows up! I think he might be petitioning for a seat at the Handsome Club table. He makes a threat about Damon screwing things up, and already his accent is waaay better than Rose's was. Damon decides to take the werewolf out of the equation, so Elena will forgive him, and Alaric is awesome Drink! and tells him it won't matter, because Klaus will kill Damon, but Damon just asks Alaric if he's going to help him, or what. Now careful, Damon. Not only am I worried for your safety, but remember, Alaric gave his ring of invincibility back to Daddy Sark!
George: Yeah, Damon, there's a lot of handsome on the line.
Stefan and Elena are hiking in the woods, and Stefan tries to get her to talk about how she feels about becoming a vampire. Then look! It's a beautiful waterfall! Stefan decides Elena should get into really good shape on her last day as a human, so they're hiking to the top!
Look at this beautiful boardwalk built by this waterfall... that we've never seen before... Are these the MYSTIC falls?
Meanwhile Damon and Alaric go by Alaric's pad so Damon can find out from Katherine where Klaus is keeping his werewolf. Katherine tells him that Klaus has Caroline and Tyler, but she's not helping. Then Damon tells her that Elena's got vampire blood in her system, and how won't that be fun, having vampire Katherine and vampire Elena hanging out for the next millennia, and she tells him they're in the cave. In the cave, Caroline wakes up. Hey, it's just like the campout cave days! Except they're BOTH chained up. Still hiking, Elena asks Stefan things like what's his favoritest part of being a vampire. Then they talk about the down side. Hmmm, seems every single emotion is just that much more intense. Elena's all good then, and just wants to stop talking. Klaus comes home to Alaric's and senses that something's up. He compels Katherine to tell him what she's been doing, and she pretends she's still compelled. But he didn't get to be an original because of his trusting nature (well, actually, we don't know HOW he became an original, so maybe it was...) so he tells her to walk into the sunlight without her daywalking bracelet on! And she has to do it!!! Poor Katherine! Drink! Out in the woods, Damon approaches the cave, but oh no! The house boy is there! Damon attacks him, but the house boy gives him a migraine! And then somebody shoots house boy! IT'S MATT!!!! YEAH!!!! Drink! Damon snaps the house boy's neck and makes crazy eyes. Drink! Matt raises his gun at Damon and asks where Caroline is. Damon knocks him out, though. In the cave, Caroline is explaining to Tyler everything he missed while he was camping with the weremilf. Then Damon shows up and frees them! Elena and Stefan climbed every mountain and forded every stream in time to see the sunset. He tells her he wants to be with her forever, but she confesses that at 17, she's not sure if she's ready for the commitment of eternity. She has a sad and finally admits what Stefan has been wanting her to admit all along: that she doesn't want to be a vampire.
George: (crying, as Elena) But I don't want to stay beautiful forever and not get fat and be rich and have two impossibly handsome brothers fighting over me for all eternity...
Elena and Stefan get back home, and Klaus very charmingly asks her if she's ready. She and Stefan share poignant 'I love you's' and there's kissage! Drink! Then she tells Stefan to close his eyes and she goes with Klaus! Stefan goes inside to find only Alaric home, so they call Damon, who's running in the woods, trying to get to the Dead Mayor's campout cave to chain Tyler up so he'll/everybody else'll be safe. But the moon is already full, you guys! And Tyler is turning! And the special effects are awesome! Drink! Then Damon fights Tyler! And Tyler tells them all to go! And Damon gives Matt his bullets back and tells Caroline to lock herself and Matt inside the cellar, so at least weretyler won't get them! Then Damon runs away to Klaus to get Elena back! At Alaric's, Klaus and Katherine are waiting for everybody to show up, when Damon blows in and tells him he freed the were and Caroline and killed Klaus's houseboy! Klaus sends Katherine out of the room and then shows Damon that he ACTUALLY has the weremilf, too!!!!! OH NOES!! And I'm sorry for saying this, but Klaus is awesome! Drink! Matt and Caroline run into the Lockwood's campout cave, and Tyler lunges at them! Damon is waking up from unconsciousness, and Katherine tells him she's sorry, but Klaus made her call 'her'. Her? Is there an unaccounted-for female vampire? Elena is walking through the woods with dead Luka's sister, and hey! asks her if she's dead Luka's sister! But dead Luka's sister tells Elena that she wasn't kidnapped, after all... and then they come up on a body... and it's Jenna! WHAT?!!!
George: Did they make Jenna a vampire?
OH NO. She IS a vampire! Oh, poor Aunt Jenna! Then back with Damon and Katherine, she tells him Klaus said that Damon was as good as dead, and OHMIGOD!!! He's been werebit! He's slightly annoyed. And awesome. Drink!
AND that's it! WTF?!!!! CW, are you trying to kill us with suspense? Yes, I think you are. Geez Louise. So here's what we know: Caroline and Matt are being attacked by weretyler, Bonnie and JJ are presumably in their candle emporium still, Katherine and werebit Damon are en route to Elena, as, I assume, are Stefan and Alaric. And Daddy Sark and Mommy Sheriff are unaccounted for. How many episodes are left? Anybody know? And who's going to die? I just can't imagine Damon dying, it's unthinkable, but what if?