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Spoiled Spoiler Alert: It’s Fabulous!

Well Played: A review of Spoiled by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan.

Spoiled Spoiler Alert: It’s Fabulous!

BOOK REPORT for Spoiled (Spoiled Book 1) by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan

Cover Story: Work It, Girl
BFF Charm: Yay and Eventually
Swoonworthy Scale: 4
Talky Talk: Fugeriffic
Bonus Factors: Hollywood, Brick Berlin, fashion, The Fug Girls
Relationship Status: I'd Punch a TMZ Camera Man For You

Cover Story: Work It, Girl

Sure, everyone will be able to tell that you're reading a "chick" book, but who cares? Be proud! I personally love how this cover smacks of sassy scandalousness, and everyone who sees it will have no doubt that you're having a blast.

The Deal:

Remember that time when you were really pissed at your parents for not buying you those super cool flower print Doc Martens, and you wished that you were secretly the child of a movie star so he/she could whisk you away to their palace in Beverly Hills and take you on a shopping spree through Contempo? I know, we've ALL been there. Well, for Molly Dix, this isn't just a momentary fantasy. It's her life. Right before her mom passed away from cancer, she spilled the beans about the true identity of Molly's dad, and it turns out, he's a crazy famous celebrity named Brick Berlin. JACKPOT! Brick is eager to welcome Molly into his home, but there's a catch-- and her name is Brooke Berlin. As Brick's only child, Brooke isn't interested in sharing her father's limited attention, and she makes it her mission to send Molly back to Indiana as soon as possible. A deliciously dirty catfight ensues as Molly tries to survive the wilds of Hollywood, and Brooke fights to remain Queen of Everything.

BFF Charm: Yay and Eventually

Oh Molly, like there was any chance you wouldn't get my bff charm! You're sweet and kind, and even better, you have a backbone! It took you a little too long to find it, but that's because your only friend was several states away. If I had been there, girl, we would've been giving Brooke Kalteen bars on DAY ONE. You can't help but look for the best in people, and I hope LA doesn't rob you of that. NEVER CHANGE, MOLLY!

As for you, Brooke, I went from loving to hate you to loving to love you. You're the best kind of bitch, because you've got the gorgeous looks and conniving mind to back it up. There's a reason why you're the most popular girl in school, just like there's a reason why you're constantly seeking attention. And as I got to know you better, I actually started to feel, well, sorry for you, and I kept hoping you'd lose the Regina facade. Especially because it would be SO much fun to shop Rodeo together (on Daddy's card!).

Swoonworthy Scale: 4

There's very few real people at Colby-Randall Prep, but one of them is Teddy, a nice guy who's hot enough not to be "the nice guy." Plus, he wears a t-shirt that says "Pants," BE STILL MY HEART. He and Molly have a delightfully flirtatious relationship that deepens as the story progresses, although I'm hoping we'll hit the real swoon pay dirt in the sequel.

Talky Talk: Fugeriffic

If you're a fan of Go Fug Yourself, you're probably expecting this book to be insanely hilarious and snarky and fashion-filled. And for once, assuming does NOT make an ass out of you or me, because THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS! Jessica and Heather have done a tremendous job of translating their fashionista wit to the YA genre, and the result is a fun, frothy escape into the lifestyles of the rich and famous. The story is ridiculously engaging, and I enjoyed the realism of the main characters as well as the wacky cartoons that surrounded them. The book is brimming with brilliant LA satire, like these lines uttered by three stylists as they primp Molly:

"You look like ten pounds of sexy in a five pound bag of awesome!"

"It's so heavenly, I totally just died and went there."

"Omigod, I fully got there an hour ago and saw Jackie O."

I cannot WAIT to try these out the next time my friends and I are in the Forever 21 dressing room.

Bonus Factors: Hollywood

You guys, I'm a sucker for shallow shizz like celebrity gossip and flashy night clubs, which means I LOVE LA! It was great to soak up all of the glitz and glamor through Molly and Brooke's lives, and I didn't even have to have plastic surgery to do it!

Bonus Factor: Brick Berlin

Brick Berlin is my new hero. Seriously. The dude is AMAZEBALLS. He's got the acting machismo of Bruce Willis and the spirituality of Hansel from Zoolander. He tells his daughters things like "Tears are full of toxins. If you hold them in, they'll flood your brain," and "Children, like protein shakes, are God's greatest present." He's completely over the top, and yet something tells me that Heather and Jessica didn't have to stray too far from real examples to create him.

Bonus Factor: Fashion

I don't know the difference between last season's Gucci and this season's Target rip-offs, but I still get a kick out of reading about designer trends and high end labels. The Fug Girls, of course, excel in this arena, and their commentary on hideous fads and industry ridiculousness was better than a front row seat at New York Fashion Week.

Bonus Factor: The Fug Girls

I know I've already sung their praises, but y'all, IT'S THE FUG GIRLS. THEY ARE SUPERSTARS OF AWESOME. I'm so glad they've decided to bless with YA world with their sparkling wit, and I'm even more glad that they've already written the sequel!

Casting Call:

I think Emma could capture Molly's innate sweetness while unleashing some serious backbone.

Emma Roberts as Molly

Brooke must be played by someone who's hot, bitchy and ultimately likeable.

Candice Accola as Brooke

Thanks to Veronica Mars, this is the only actor I pictured as Brick. Except, you know, less murder-y.

Harry Hamlin as Brick 

Relationship Status: I'd Punch a TMZ Camera Man For You

This book is smart, bubbly and fabulous, and it deserves all of the fame it gets. I love being a member of its entourage, because it's incredibly fun to be around, but it also has a good heart. It's the kind of novel that will notice when you're feeling bad and take you out for champers and shoe therapy, and I would proudly defend it against malicious gossip. So if the paparazzi gets too aggressive, I'd have no problem dispensing a little five-fingered justice to protect such a fantastically entertaining read.

FTC Full Disclosure: I received my copy of the book from Heather & Jessica (yay!). I received neither money nor cocktails for writing this review (dammit!). Spoiled will be available June 1.

Posh Deluxe's photo About the Author: Sarah lives in Austin, TX, where she programs films at the Alamo Drafthouse. Sarah enjoys fancy cocktails, dance parties and anything that sparkles (except vampires).