As y'all know, here at FYA we believe in the power of science. We use it to analyze everything from books to film trailers to the hotness quotient of Jacob's jorts. But while planning for a recent slumber party, we discovered that our film reviews were not only sparse, they were lacking in scholarly conclusions. So, in order to provide you, fellow scholar, with cleaner data and better research, we've developed a scientific structure of the same caliber as our book review format to apply to movies.
Our first subject will be a 2001 film that is now streaming on Netflix, so you can examine it for yourself! Now, join me in the lab as we evaluate the cray cray known as Get Over It.
The So-Called Plot:
Berke (Ben Foster) and Allison (Melissa Sagemiller) are one of those high school couples who walk around with their hands in each other's back pockets and emit a PDA force field that constantly prevents you from getting to your locker. They're annoyingly in love, until the day Allison breaks up with Berke and starts dating Striker (Shane West), a member of a boy band with a heinously fake British accent. Of course, Berke vows to win her back, even though it's obvious that a girl who would date Shane West is not worth wooing. Since Allison and Striker are both auditioning for the school musical, Berke signs up as well, but when he actually gets cast, he turns to his bestie's little sister, Kelly (Kirsten Dunst) for some acting and singing help. As Kelly helps Berke understand the finer points of A Midsummer's Night Dream, the Shakespeare play
totally ruined adapted by the theater teacher (Martin Short), elements of the play begin to weave into the story, and Berke finds himself caught between his old flame and the possibility of a new romance with Kelly.
Just like all teen films made in the late 90s and early 00s, EVERYONE is in this movie. Seriously, I started wondering when I was going to make an appearance in the background because EVEN VITAMIN C is in this movie, and I figure I'm just as famous as she is. But seriously, I love the cast of this film.
Kirsten Dunst as Kelly and Ben Foster as Berke
I LOVE the fact that Ben Foster plays the romantic lead in this movie. He's not cheesy cute like Freddie Prinze, nor is he super hot like Jesse Bradford. He's just plain adorkable, and that keeps his character believable and surprisingly authentic for a cheesy teen comedy.
Haters gonna hate, but Drop Dead Gorgeous and Bring It On are enough to make me adore Kiki til the end of time. In this movie, she's cute and perky, and her mediocre singing voice only makes me root for her harder.
Colin Hanks as Felix
THAT'S RIGHT. Mother effing Colin Hanks is in this movie! I don't even care that he plays a bumbling buffoon of a best friend. IT'S COLIN HANKS AND HE IS PRECIOUS TO ME.
Shane West as Striker
God I hate Shane West. He's such a skeevy douchebag. But so is the character of Striker, so, well done, casting director!
Martin Short as Dr. Oates
Sure, Christoper Guest would have been a better choice, but I always enjoy a good theatre teacher caricature.
Sisqó as Dennis
THONG TH-THONG-THONG-THOOOOONG! See, back in the late 90s, there was this unwritten rule that all teen movies had to feature a top 40 artist as an inexplicable character. Usher had already been used for She's All That, so the producers had to go with Sisqó.
Y'all, that's just the tip of the iceberg. This movie also features Zoe Saldana, Mila Kunis, Swoosie Kurtz & Ed Begley Jr (as Berke's parents, they're like a cross between the Mrs. George and Easy A schools of parenting), five seconds of Coolio and Carmen Electra (I never realized how much she and Fergie resemble each other, and by that I mean, their faces scare me) and YES VITAMIN C. FRIENDS FOREVER!
Chemistry Grade: C+
Even though Ben Foster and Kirsten Dunst are both super cute, there's not a ton of sparkage between them. Instead of lip smacking, there's lots of forehead smacking, because OBVIOUSLY Kelly is hotter than Allison, and as a teenage boy, there's no way Berke's penis would allow him to ignore Kelly's attractiveness and advances. If you're looking for a drinking game to accompany this film, try taking a drink everytime you yell, "OPEN YR EYES, YOU BIG IDIOT" to Berke on the screen.
Cliche Count: 7
Hot Actress Pretending Not to Be Hot: 2
Popular Douchebag: 1
Teen Dance Club That Is Actually Cool: 1
Drama Club Weirdos: 1
"Cool" Parents: 1
Out of Control House Party: 1
Weirdly enough, the actual soundtrack is missing the best worst songs of the film, namely these two incredible numbers:
THEY DON'T MAKE 'EM LIKE THIS ANYMORE, KIDS.
Slumber Party Potential: Gossip Backdrop
This film isn't awesome enough to require your full attention, but it's perfect to have playing on the living room TV while you and your girl pals wonder if your crush will ever finally notice you like Berke notices Kelly. While the story isn't crazy compelling, the sprawling cast and small eccentricities (Little Steve as Puck!) make it fantastic eye candy.