Greetings, ladies and Brian! Welcome to another installment of our LadyNerd series, in which we instruct you in the ways of refined gentility and educated geekdom. The path to LadyNerdhood is not an easy one, and many a weak soul have been lost along the way, buried by exhaustion, ignorance or unfettered dorkiness. If you wish to be LadyNerd, you must possess great passion, strong discipline and an even stronger liver.
For today's lesson, you must also possess major admiration for Buffy The Vampire Slayer, because I'm going to teach you how to attend a Buffy Singalong! I know, I know, it is indeed an intimidating task, but if you heed my wisdom, you will emerge from this challenge victorious... and with "Rest In Peace" stuck in your head.
So, if you're sitting there, thinking, "OMG WHAT IS THE BUFFY SINGALONG AND HOW HAVE I MISSED OUT ON SOMETHING SO AWESOME?" allow me to explain. As Erin posted last week, we're lucky enough to be connected to the Alamo Drafthouse. And, approximately six years ago, Henri, who creatively directs the Drafthouse, started hosting singalongs featuring an episode of Buffy followed by Once More With Feeling, the episode in which everyone spontaneously bursts into song.
Note: If there are any LadyNerds-in-training who have not seen this episode, I order you to go home, tell your family you'll be late for Thanksgiving, and watch seasons 1-6 of this incredible, incredible show. Higher learning is a pivotal aspect of LadyNerdhood, and Buffy is a required component of our curriculum.
Anyway, to make a long story short, Fox is very, uh, protective of their Slayer, and after a few glorious years, the Buffy singalongs had to come to an end. BUT, every once in a blue moon, Fox gives the Drafthouse rights to host the show, usually as a charity benefit. And, earlier this month, Erin and I were lucky enough to attend one of these rare events. Of course, I took meticulous notes so that I could share them with you to aid in your LadyNerd aspirations.
Class is now in session!
1. Use the props properly.
A LadyNerd must always strike the right balance between grace and enthusiasm, and at the Buffy Singalong, it's important to use the props at the correct time. We were given the following items and instructions:
• Bubbles: To be used during the romantic Willow & Tara number
• Vampire Teeth: To be worn during "Rest In Peace"
• Lighters: To be ignited during "Walk Through The Fire"
• When Anya says, "I'm dancing crazy!" we were asked to stand and do our own version of a crazy dance.
There were also other enhancements that I will describe later in this post.
2. Relish your adult beverages with elegance and style.
As Erin discovered, it is impossible to wear vampire teeth and drink at the same time. Did she simply abstain from drinking? No. (Don't be preposterous!) Did she attempt to drink while wearing her vampire teeth, thereby making a distasteful spectacle of herself? NO! Instead, she simply removed the teeth when she wanted to sip her beverage, then replaced them in order to fully commit to the show. That, my friends, is a LadyNerd in action.
3. Sing along to every song with fervor and without shame.
The Alamo doesn't call this a singalong for nothing. Audience members are given the subtitles for every song on the screen, and they are expected to sing their hearts out to every single lyric. A LadyNerd understands this requirement and dedicates herself fully to this task.
4. If a Buffy celebrity appears, swimfan politely, not psychotically.
Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that JAMES MARSTERS was there?!!! Because HE WAS! And even though he was still smokin' hot and totally charming, Erin and I resisted the urge to run down to the stage and/or ask creepy questions. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for certain audience members, who were obviously not cut out to be LadyNerds.
So, not only was James there, but Henri roped him into performing Buffyoke with a random person from the audience! Wondering what Buffyoke is? Allow Henri to explain:
5. Refine your skills in the art of karaoke (or any permutation of) so you can be prepared at all times.
A LadyNerd should be ready to bust out her skills at any moment. Let's see how James and the audience member fared:
Not bad, not bad. But... Erin and I could've done it better. Like, the audience would have totally heard a dulcet choir of pretty little birdies.
After Buffyoke, it was time for Once More With Feeling! During Anya's song about bunnies, Henri came out on stage wearing a bunny head and danced around until the number ended with a fiery explosion on stage!
6. A LadyNerd knows there is a time and place for vulgarity, and she takes full advantage of that.
At the end of Tara's song, Henri asked us to finish the lyric for her...
7. A LadyNerd should never, ever heckle. Unless she's given permission. Then she is free to show her displeasure.
8. Embrace your inner nerd (and your fellow nerds) with healthy affection.
During "Walk Through The Fire," the audience all raised their lighters and sang along with unabashed passion. It felt like church on Christmas Eve, when everyone lights candles and sings "Silent Night."
The theater was filled with love and good will towards men, and when we all grabbed hands and swayed to "Where Do We Go From Here," my LadyNerd heart almost burst!
It was a magical, geektastic evening, and I'll tell you where we go from here: on more LadyNerd adventures! Until then, young grasshoppers, stay strong, stay true and don't stay sober.
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