Well, hello! Dr. FYA is here to help you with all of your post-holiday advice! For those of you back at work already, I am so sorry. The Doctor feels your pain and perhaps can prescribe you something for that. Because the last time I checked, you don't need a medical license to prescribe a good drink.
Occasionally the good doctor likes to peruse the internet's favorite advice columns. I find them fascinating and bonus - they can make you feel marginally better about your own crazy business! Which is why Dr. FYA couldn't resist sharing with this gem from last week's Slate's Dear Prudence column:
Q. Sister's Marital Woes: My kid sister has always been into fairy tale love: Disney movies, then Jane Eyre, and lately the Twilight novels. Three years ago she married her boyfriend of nine months after a whirlwind romance. They had their first child a year later, their second a few months ago. Her husband, though attentive, is very busy supporting their family. Their marriage is no longer in the honeymoon phase, and now my sister wants a divorce because her marriage isn't "Edward and Bella" perfect. She's disappointed because she doesn't believe she and her husband are soul mates. I want to support her, but I don't believe in soul mates or everlasting fairy tale love. I think she needs to grow up and recognize that she'll likely never find a "soul mate." How can I support her while making her aware of reality?
Now, I certainly won't argue with the advice given -- which was more or less for this writer to encourage her Bella wannabe sister to seek marriage counseling. But there are so many terrifying and interesting aspects to this question that it's hard to know where to begin.
The most obvious being that WHY ON EARTH DOES THIS GROWN WOMAN THINK THAT EDWARD IS AN IDEAL TO LONG FOR?? This is a dude who will cut your brake line car's power so that you can't leave your house to visit your one male friend. This is the guy who will dump you for your own good (there is no such thing!) and give you no means in which to contact him/get closure. And worst of all, this is the guy who will steal back the mix tape he made for you!!! I mean, who does that?
But the more interesting debate is whether fiction can be responsible for giving us unrealistic expectations of life and, specifically, romance. Sure, we're all responsible for discerning reality from fiction. But last time I checked, I certainly haven't been reading any books that remotely resembled my life. Because those would be terribly, terribly boring.
And despite everything we've read and watched, the reality is that many of us (most of us?) will not find that One True Love. And of those who do, many will find that it neither as ideal (or as permanent) as they originally thought. So while I don't advocate this Bella wannabe staying in a loveless marriage, trying to find her "Edward" would be a gamble. If she doesn't love him, she should get out so they both have a chance at love. But if she loves her husband (her "Mike", if you will), she should find a way to make it work. She may never find anyone or worse, find someone with those scary and obsessive tendencies Edward has (and most likely, it will not result in a happily ever after).
So what say you readers? What books or movies have provided you with your ultimate romantic ideal? And have you ever been positively or negatively influenced by those expectations?
And remember --- if you've got a problem -- big, small, serious or silly -- send your question to foreveryoungadult {at} gmail {dot} com!
