Welcome back to another installment of Forever Young Adult's readalong of Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility, in which we take our beloved characters and interpret them through the lens of trash culture!
Last week, we got see Marianne Dashwood, Bachelorette perusing her prospects, and doling out roses as she saw fit coughWilloughbycough. But this week, we take a more sinister turn to the seedy underbelly of Sussex County.
VOICEOVER:Someone is about to have a very bad day.
[EXTERIOR: BARTON PARK. COL. BRANDOG]:"We've just gotten word that a young fugitive who disappeared a year ago has turned up in London."
VOICEOVER: And that someone just so happens to have a close connection to our very own Brandog...
[IN HASTE, BRANDOG AND HIS TEAM ARE AWAY]: "Let's go! Go go go go!" [CHAOS AS THEY RUSH AWAY...]
[WILLOUGHBY, ASIDE]: "That bugger knows how to ruin a party..."
[MRS. JENNINGS]: "What is Col. Brandog up to? I shan't be able to enjoy my frivolous life for three whole days wondering..."
[INTERVIEW: THE DASHWOODS]
Mrs. Dashwood: "Well, I don't know about you, Elinor, but I just LOVE that Willoughby."
Margaret: "Marianne loves him well enough for everybody. I expect they'll be announcing an engagement any day now."
Elinor: "I'm not certain of the status of their engagement, but I am certain of their feelings for one another."
Mrs. Dashwood: "No kidding! He calls her by her first name!"
Margaret: "AND I saw him cutting off a lock of her hair."
Mrs Dashwood: "But I do wonder about poor Col Brandog. Wonder what he's up to..."
[EXTERIOR. BACK ALLEY OF LONDON CONVENT. OR SOMETHING. BRANDOG APPROACHES A DOORWAY.]
[KNOCKS ON DOOR] "Miss Williams? Open up!"
[SOUNDS OF A STRUGGLE INSIDE. BRANDOG BREAKS IN THE DOOR. SILENCE.]
VOICEOVER: You can run. And you can hide...
[BRANDOG EXITS THE BUILDING, LEADING HIS QUARRY AWAY. CUT TO POLICE WAGON.]
Miss Williams: "I'm so ashamed." [TEARS] "He's ruined me. And me being an orphan..."
[BRANDOG SHOWS A MOMENT OF MERCY AND OFFERS THE YOUNG WOMAN SOLACE. END SCENE.]
[INTERIOR, BRANDOG'S CARRIAGE.]
"I knew that bastard was no good. Hadn't wanted the harsh realities of life to be brought down upon sweet Marianne, but... I can't say I'm sorry about what I've done." [A LOOK OF GRIM SATISFACTION CROSSES HIS FACE.]
"Today was a good day's work..."
[INTERVIEW. MRS. DASHWOOD.]
"I just can't understand what's come over poor Willoughby. I wonder if he and Marianne have quarreled? Nevertheless, he's always welcome here. Why, he loves this cottage, just as it is, pokey fireplace and all."
[MARGARET, OFF CAMERA.]
"He gave Marianne a horse, did you know? Of course, with only the three servants, we had no one to take care of it, but still! Who gives a lady he just met a horse?"
[INTERVIEW. MRS. JENNINGS.]
"Well, I still aim to find out what Brandog was up to this week, but now I have a more pressing question: Who is this 'Mr. F'?"
[VOICEOVER] Tune in next week, as Brandog tracks down Shoreditch's Most Wanted, and catches up with a farmer from Kent, who owes 15 months worth of back alimony.
Next installment: Chapters 16-20