Happy Ash Wednesday, FYA! How are those Lenten promises of abstinence and suffering treating you? Or, more specifically, how is that hangover from last night treating you? I'll try to talk in a whisper.
It's time for another champagne to be put under the Highly Scientific FYA Drunk Magnifying Goggles! This month, it's Veuve Clicquot, which unlike the Sofia Champ Cans we featured last month, cannot be consumed whilst walking down a street. Let's see how this champagne holds up in our patented FYA Champers Challenge!
At 35-40 bucks a pop, this champagne is not your average "Oh, shit, it's Tuesday and I just worked for 12 hours straight and if I don't get a bubble bath and a litre of champagne IMMEDIATELY I'm gonna cut a bitch" champagne. It's a fancy champagne. It's a champagne for special occassions! It's the American Girl catalog of champagnes! So how does it stack up?
Tastiness: HOLY GEEZ LET'S MAKE OUT
Looks: Classy!
Value: Pricy, but just like picking up Julia Roberts on the corner of Sunset, the extra price makes it more special!
Fancy Pants Factor: At LEAST Real Housewives of Dallas-level of richness!
Champion Status: If the champers challenge was the Hunger Games Arena, this champers would totally be a District 1 Career. And you'd root for it to win because it's not a whiny bitch.
But don't take my written word for it! Please observe this HIGHLY SCIENTIFIC VIDEO in which a COMPLETELY TOTALLY SOBER ME rates this champagne and in no way goes off on a twelve minute tangent about Barbie threesomes that later had to be edited out!