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Trailer Party: Step Up To My Sparkle Motion

You're invited to a trailer party featuring Step Up: Revolution, Bel Ami, Sparkle and more!

Trailer Party: Step Up To My Sparkle Motion

FYA MAKE SOME NOOOOOIIIISE! It's Friday, y'all! And it's time to get ILL! Or, for some of us still stuck at work, it's time to distract ourselves from the fact that we haven't yet reached Happy Hour. (Speaking of happy, JOIN TEAM AMITY.) But just because you're sitting at a desk doesn't mean you can't do a little pre-partying, which is why I am cordially inviting you to join me for a Trailer Party! So grab that flask in yr drawer and let's take a look at some of the upcoming movies we're excited (and appalled) to see.

Bel Ami

Casting Call: EDWARD CULLEN IN THE HIZZOUSE!!!! Dude, Robert, it's nice to see your regular pale face instead of your make-up pale face. But more importantly, the ladies! There are some badass women in this thang! Kristin Scott Thomas is always fierce, and it's great to see Uma Thurman in something that isn't straight to DVD. And Christina Ricci! Girl, I missed you!!!! Plus Colm Meaney! STNG REPRESENT!

Most Fist-Pump-Worthy Moment: When Edward, I mean, Robert screams, "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" That made me laaaaaugh.

Bonus Factor: This movie seems like it might have the juicy potential of Dangerous Liasons, and I love me some scandalous costume drama!

Theater, Netflix or Sick Day: Maybe the theater, but only if I can go with friends on a day when no one else is there so we can be drunk and yell things at the screen like, "WHY AREN'T YOU SPARKLING?" and "WHERE IS JACOB?" That would be tremendously satisfying.

The Lucky One

Casting Call: I have to admit, Zac Efron is looking preeeeetty fine these days. Dude is working that gun show HARD! But he's still far from the Taylor Kitsch Level in my viewing priorities, i.e. I will see any film that he's in, even if it looks like Battleship shizz. I have no idea who that pretty blonde lady is, but I do like Blythe Danner, mostly because she made Gwyneth Paltrow. Overall, this movie is definitely lacking in superstars, although I suppose I should be thankful for the absence of Miley Cyrus.

Most Fist-Pump-Worthy Moment: Does it count if I was fist-pumping at how bad the movie looks? Because if so, the best moment was... this entire trailer. Ok, wait, maybe the shower kissing scene. Or wait, maybe when that Fray song started! Ok, yeah, it was the entire trailer.

Bonus Factor: Um? I drank wine while watching it?

Theater, Netflix or Sick Day: How about NEVER DAY? I mean, you did see the part about how it's based on a book by Nicholas Sparks, right? I guess if I was really sick, like deathbed sick, and I'd already watched every episode of Bones and Supernatural on Netflix, MAYBE I would watch this. But hopefully I would die before that point.

Sparkle

Casting Call: Oh man, Whitney Houston is in this! It's kinda like how Dark Knight came out after Heath Ledger died, except Whitney looks waaaay less creepy than the Joker. Also, Jordin Sparks! I don't know much about her, except she sang that "Battlefield" song, and even though everyone complained that it was a Pat Benatar rip-off, I couldn't stop listening to it because it was so damn CATCHY! BETTER GO AND GETCHA ARMOR! And it's weird to see Cee-Lo without sunglasses, right?!

Most Fist-Pump-Worthy Moment: When I saw R. Kelly listed as the "Executive Music Consultant."

Bonus Factor: The fashion in this movie looks SUPREME. (Pun!)

Theater, Netflix or Sick Day: Definitely Netflix. It seems like they packed a ton of songs into this movie, so we'll get lots of breaks from any bad acting. Plus there's plenty of dramz and sibling rivalry to keep me and my bottle of wine entertained. And if I fall asleep on the couch, I'm pretty sure I can guess the ending.

Little Birds

Casting Call: WHAT. IS THAT BEAVER FROM VERONICA MARS?!! YESSSSS. I LOVE that dude. I don't think I've seen either of the lead girls in a movie before, but they seem super legit. And as long as Kate Bosworth has gained at least 20 pounds, I should be able to handle seeing her on screen.

Most Fist-Pump-Worthy Moment: When I realized Beaver is in this movie.

Bonus Factor: This is a YA movie! But like, a real, authentic, non-Disney-fied YA movie.

Theater, Netflix or Sick Day: Definitely theater. Based on the trailer, this film looks bona fide excellent, and there's not a ton of teen movies that fall within that category.

People Like Us

Casting Call: EFFIEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Seriously, Elizabeth Banks is all a movie needs to completely sell me. But it helps that Chris Pine is kinda cute, except for the moments when his face unfortunately reminds me of James Marsden. And Michelle Pfeiffer! Hey girl! Also, that little boy looks like he could be extra adorable.

Most Fist-Pump-Worthy Moment: POOL EXPLOSION!

Bonus Factor: It's pretty awesome that this movie focuses on a man and woman who aren't romantically involved. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed my fair share of rom coms, but it's refreshing to see a plot that isn't centered on falling in or out of love.

Theater, Netflix or Sick Day: Netflix. This looks good, but not theater ticket prices good. And if this movie manages to make me cry, I don't want other people to know that this movie managed to make me cry.

Step Up: Revolution

Casting Call: HOLD UP, Y'ALL! MOOSE IS IN THIS MOVIE! In the previous, shorter trailer, there was no sign of any Step Up alums, but in this one, I spotted a few of my faves from Step Up 2 and, most importantly, MOOSE! The other good news is that the lead guy in this is waaaaay less douchey than the lead in Step Up 3D, so I already know that I'll like this installment better. And it's nice to see Peter Gallagher getting back to his Center Stage roots.

Most Fist-Pump-Worthy Moment: THE ENTIRE TRAILER. OBVS. But most especially for Moose. I think my shoulder actually came out of its socket when he showed up on screen.

Bonus Factor: It's a Step Up movie. That's like, a jackpot of bonus factors.

Theater, Netflix or Sick Day: HELL YES I WILL BE SEEING THIS IN THE THEATER. At least twice! And based on the trailer, the dancing will be just as epic as I expect, and the dialogue will be reliably (and charmingly) awful. Like the fact that someone with only two minutes of trailer time chose to include the line, "It's time for protest art," just... it really says it all. I CANNOT WAIT.

 

But look at me, hogging the spotlight while my trailer party guests clearly have opinions! What's your take on these trailers? Did I forget to include any especially awesome or awful ones? Which of these will you see in the theater? And HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE MOOSE? (Hint: the answers should be, "A LOT.")

Posh Deluxe's photo About the Author: Sarah lives in Austin, TX, where she programs films at the Alamo Drafthouse. Sarah enjoys fancy cocktails, dance parties and anything that sparkles (except vampires).