Welcome back to Ringer! We are winding down the season, so hopefully the show will ramp up the crazy. Last week ended with Catherine attempting to murder Bridget-as-Siobhan (BS)! And since BS is one of the “two” leads in the show…something tells me Catherine isn’t going to be too successful. Let’s find out!
Bridget-as-Siobhan (BS) finds the phone of the original hit man in Catherine’s purse. And I am saying Catherine after having said Catherine all season, because Catherine had an awful C-shaped keychain in her purse. BS proceeds to officially pass out from the pill cocktail Catherine served her.
Catherine types up a fake suicide note. And then proceeds to practice being fake sad about Siobhan’s death, which is kind of hilarious. We get a flashback to The Real Siobhan (TRS) telling Catherine they are going to sell her house in Miami. Apparently she didn’t own it herself? Andrew did? I’m kind of surprised that Catherine didn’t seem to get shit out of her divorce with Andrew, especially since he cheated. She didn’t even get one house? What about alimony? Catherine, you should have gotten a better lawyer!
After not getting an answer from BS, Agent Machado tries calling Andrew but doesn’t bother explaining in his voicemail that Catherine may or may not be trying to murder his current wife. The Feds pick up Machado and I don’t know why. What did he do this time? He’s always in trubs for something.
Andrew shows up at his house and finds a frantic Catherine there. She tries to prevent him from finding BS, who she placed in the bathtub to drown. Andrew finds BS and gets her out in time. Catherine proceeds to pull a gun on them, so the cat is officially out of the bag.
Andrew, you should really see a doctor about your sweating problem.
Henry the Horrible had found out that he’s been denied supervised visits with his twins. I’m not sure how Henry is going to get out of this whole murder situation. At least without something crazy happening. TRS goes to some counterfeiter to try and asks him to make fake-looking passports. What is that crazy lady up to?
Due to Machado’s urging, FBI agents show up at the penthouse. And during the whole time, somehow Andrew and BS cannot figure out how to signal them that they’re being held hostage. Even though the agents give BS the chance to give them a code word for being held hostage. And she doesn’t even use it!
TRS finds the Russian maid who is testifying against Henry. Turns out she’s a high priced call girl. The fake passports are for the maid. TRS threatens to get her deported since it looks like she’s a con artist with all of those fake passports. Juliet comes home and finds the whole crazy charade. Obviously, she does not take Catherine’s side. Strangely enough, she doesn’t want her crazy mom to murder her dad. Who’d have thunk?!
Juliet's insanely short skirt is out-ugly'ed by Catherine's condiment colored outfit.
Catherine proceeds to call…Olivia! Apparently Olivia was in on the plan, or at least knew about it?? Turns out Olivia and Catherine had a bit of a lesbian encounter a few weeks back. When Catherine got kicked out of Andrew’s place, she shacked up with Olivia. Wow, Catherine is quite the prostitute.
Juliet manages to turn on the hit man’s phone. They are able to call Machado and he hears everything that is taking place with the hostage situation. TRS is still harassing the maid when one of her johns comes to call. The maid shoves her in a closet and gets her business on. While in the closet...TRS’s water breaks.
Shocked - angry - constipated
The Russian maid is boning and snorting coke. And then she...conveniently dies of a coke overdose. Amazing. TRS rushes off to the hospital to have her twins.
Olivia convinces Catherine to come find her. BS is going to be taken as a hostage. But turns out...Machado has already gotten to Olivia’s place. It’s a trap! But for Catherine…so a good trap!
Catherine and BS arrive at some giant ass house that Olivia has been hiding out in. BS manages to get the gun away from Catherine. She didn’t even need Machado after all. Catherine is defeated. I guess she’ll be arrested. Kind of a weak ending to all of that. Couldn’t she had at least died in a shoot out?
Being the trashy twin means you know how to use a gun, apparently.
TRS is at the hospital, getting ready for a c-section. Is anyone else wondering how on earth she’s going to pay for this? Considering she’s not really Siobhan Martin anymore? Like...Andrew is going to be pretty confused when he gets an insurance claim for a c-section for his wife.
Henry the Horrible gets a text message saying that the maid is dead. Deus ex coke overdose! TRS lies and says she knows nothing about it. Then Henry proceeds to...ask a nurse for a PATERNITY TEST on the NOT YET BIRTHED TWINS INSIDE OF THE REAL SIOBHAN’S TUMMY. Ummm, I’m not a legal expert here, but I’m pretty fucking sure that is not even remotely close to being legal. I mean, we’re talking 5 counties away from legal. The hospital can’t possibly do that for him. He’s not even her husband. And even if he WERE, no way in hell would they do that.
And that’s it for this week! If the previews are to be believed, Bridget may tell Andrew that she isn’t really Siobhan. It only took ALL SEASON. And what do you think…will Bridget FINALLY realize Siobhan is alive? Or are they going to save that “shocker” for NEXT season’s finale? What do you think!?