Guys, it’s the moment
we’ve I’ve been waiting for! Possibly the last time I ever recap a Ringer episode. It’s the season finale, which means real things will probably happen. In fact, some of the more absurd things that we’ve been suspending all reasonable belief for putting up with might no longer be an issue! Will Bridget finally tell Andrew who she really is? Will Bridget finally realize that Siobhan has clearly, oh so obviously been alive this entire time? Will someone die? Will everyone live? Will we ever find out what happened to Malcolm? Let’s find out!
Our show begins with a wedding. I’m certain this isn’t at all real. Bridget-as-Shioban (BS) has a reasonably pretty dress. And I really like her veil! The ceremony has a lady pastor, how progressive of Andrew and BS. Juliet is the only bridesmaid/attendant. Who are all these other people? Did they pay them to be there? These people certainly have no friends. And...Bodaway is there. Yep, it’s fake.
I’d like to point out that I always go to the CW website to get screencaps for my reviews. Usually they have several up for the episode I’ve just watched. But often they are horrible and bizarre picks. For this episode...there are eight total screecaps. And ALL EIGHT are ALL from the FAKE DREAM WEDDING. There are NO OTHERS. Utterly worthless.
BS is at Narcotics Anonymous. She’s been clean for a year. She thanks Malcolm for helping her. Oh yeah...WHAT ABOUT MALCOLM? Glad you decided to remember him for three seconds, show! Oh, she’s getting married in a week. Well...good luck with that!
BS is riding around with Soloman. He doesn’t think BS should come clean about her true identity. He warns her about Bodaway, but she says she can’t walk down the aisle without letting Andrew know. Soloman says there may not be an aisle to walk down after her reveal. He is probably correct.
Gemma’s Daddy is signing some papers. I’m not exactly sure what’s going on with the stupid Martin Charles plot line. Someone Gemma’s Daddy knows it’s a ponzi scheme...and can somehow do something to save the company? Unclear. I just hope this means we can finally drop the Andrew might go to jail plot now.
Henry the Horrible and The Real Siobhan (TRS) are at the hospital. Henry says the twins can be taken out of the hospital in a week. They’re in intensive care while TRS just hangs out around the hospital, looking too well dressed. Henry somehow got his boy twins back. He wants to move to Chicago, where his family is. And start a new life...or something!
Agent Machado has been put back on duty. Except that’s he’s been taken off the Bodaway case. And...surprise...Jimmy the Dirty Cop shows up to see BS! He thinks she’s Siobhan. How did he get out of jail??? I’m pretty sure it’s NOT that easy to break out of federal prison. He explains that he doesn’t want to work for Bodaway anymore. And he wants BS to give him money.
Flashback to a bar in Wyoming. TRS and that guy who killed Gemma whose name I forgot are there. They strike a deal with Dirty Cop to get him to force Bridget to run off to Siobhan. How on EARTH did FEDERAL AGENTS not have evidence that Dirty Cop was working for Bodaway...but Siobhan and her gun-toting patsy were able to figure that out? This is a difficult plot point to swallow. And that’s saying something coming from this show.
Anyway, If BS doesn’t give Dirty Copy the money, he’ll tell Bodaway that Siobhan is Bridget. Which...she IS! But 50k is chump change for BS now.
TRS is packing up for Chicago. Horrible Henry has a nice house picked out for them. TRS will help pay for it because Henry doesn’t have any money. They’re going to be a HAPPY LITTLE FAMILY.
The Feds found a body! They think it’s Malcolm. Poor Malcolm. After all Malcolm has done, and that’s it? That’s all we get for closure? Oh yeah, we maybe found a body. I hope they’re being ambiguous because Malcolm is secretly still alive. Not just because the writers were lazy. Agent Machado hears that Dirty Cop escaped from prison. Seriously, WHO ESCAPES FROM PRISON?
BS has cooked Andrew and Juliet dinner. Food will make your lies easier to swallow, right? Andrew proceeds to read BS a poem. Awkward. Andrew and his declaration of love makes BS chicken out on the reveal.
Dirty Cop is packing up a bunch of bills. Looks like Siobhan paid him off after all. Bodaway shows up at his door. Jimmy gives away Siobhan’s name but Bodaway kills him anyway.
BS talks to Soloman about what happened with Dirty Cop. BS is surprised at his connection to Siobhan. But still can’t bother to think that MAYBE other things Siobhan did (like DYING) could have been lies as well. Soloman makes BS take a gun. Good thinking...because we know she’s gonna need it!
TRS finds the paternity test that Horrible Henry ordered in violation of all sorts of medical ethics laws. She says that he’s the father, however, the paper says otherwise. They must be Andrew’s! If Bridget ends up with Andrew that will certainly make things awkward.
Andrew is talking with Gemma’s Daddy. Gemma’s Daddy proceeds to drop the bomb that Siobhan was having an affair with Henry. Andrew goes home and calls BS out on it, even though they’re in the middle of having a engagement party. He’s calling off the wedding. Nothing to lose now, BS! Just tell him!
TRS is looking at her bank account. It’s empty! Horrible Henry stole all her money. He had called the hospital and already knew the twin girls were not his. He was testing TRS to see what she would say. And she FAILED. Because she LIED. Henry kicks her out. Siobhan has no money and two baby girls. Henry...you can break up with her, but you can’t leave her broke when she’s a new mom. I mean, why does Henry think he’s entitled to steal her money? Just because she did him wrong? Lots of people have done me wrong, but it doesn’t mean I can morally justify robbing all of their life savings. Especially if that person has children to support. That too horrible Henry, even for you.
BS calls Agent Machado and let’s her know about Dirty Cop. She tells him help me Agent Machado, you’re my only hope! But he can’t help her, since he’s off the case.
And...Bridget finally reveals the bomb! She tells Andrew she’s Bridget! Will he believe her? Will he forgive her?!
Andrew is angry! But BS makes a compelling speech! I would forgive her! He tells her to leave. Strange that he could love monsters like Siobhan and Catherine, but not Bridget. BS goes to stay at the house of that one friend she has. She tells Juliet she’s Bridget as well.
Andrew goes to Henry’s house and punches him. Everyone should punch Henry! Juliet tells Bridget that she is worse than Catherine. O RLY? Did Bridg force you to lie about being raped? Has Bridg tried to murder people? I THINK NOT. FUCK THESE GUYS. TEAM BRIDGET.
TRS breaks into the penthouse to steal jewelry. Bodaway is there! He thinks TRS is Bridg! Ha, take THAT Real Siobhan! Bridget goes to the penthouse building. She sees that the doorman is dead. And for some insane reason...decides to go UP to the penthouse!? Why isn’t she running AWAY? Bodaway is old school - he’s going after TRS with a knife. Bridget gets up there. And she shoots him! And for some insane reason she thinks Siobhan was Juliet. UHHH stupid Bridget. Even shot, he managers to attack her. She loses her gun. But Agent Machado shows up. Bodaway is distracted and Bridget shoots him again. And he’s dead. Congratulations Bridget! And now the stupid Bodaway plot line is officially DEAD. Yay!
Soloman finds evidence from the mariana to prove that Siobhan is alive after her fake suicide. FINALLY THE IDIOT HAS FIGURED IT OUT. After an entire season...we finish off with Bridget knowing the same thing us viewers knew 22 DAMN EPISODES AGO. So what did you all think?? I feel like I could have predicted everything that happened in that episode. Since it was everything that NEEDED to happen, but the writers had avoided/been stringing us along on all season. Do you think Ringer has a shot at getting renewed? Do you want it to? And if so, will you be watching next season? Let’s discuss!