A Highly Scientific Analysis of the Magic Mike Trailer

When we first heard that Channing Tatum was making a movie about male strippers, we were like YES, PLEASE and THANK YOU. I mean, I think we can all agree that dance movies constitute the finest genre of film, and Magic Mike is basically like Step Up except most of the dudes aren’t wearing shirts ever. THIS IS WHY CINEMA WAS INVENTED, PEOPLE.

And then, last night, it finally arrived. The trailer for this smokin’ hot movie is here, and WE ARE GOING TO ANALYZE THE LIVING SHIZZ OUT OF IT. Because we are scientists! And we must pursue the truth at all costs, even if that means staring at Channing Tatum’s insanely tight abs for hours at a time.

First, as always, we must examine our specimen as a whole.

Go ahead, watch it again. I’m sure there’s a few important pieces of evidence that you missed.

Now that you’ve got your notes, let’s compare them to mine.

Did anyone else think of 21 Jump Street? Man, it was so awesome! But I’m really glad I don’t have to watch Jonah Hill strip in this movie.

But I am more than fine with watching Matthew McConaughey do it! HELLO SIR.

And yeah, I know, some other stuff happened in the trailer before that shot but I felt that, for the purpose of scientific inquiry, we needed to reach the shirtless scenes as expediently as possible.

Step up to MY GUN SHOW.

Please tell me this movie will be in 3-D so I can reach out and TOUCH THAT.

But WHYYYYY? My cinematic needs are SATISFIED.

Dude, Alex, I had the same reaction when I found out you were in this movie.

And then they had to go and throw in a boat beach party. As if my entire being wasn’t already composed of envy. THANKS TRAILER.

Matthew, you totally lied in Dazed & Confused, because I’m pretty sure that the high school girls got older, but you stayed the same age. And what a fine, fine age that is. P.S. Nice necklace.

Um, excuse me? Girl who is not hot enough to deserve Channing? Yeah, you. Um, would you mind moving a little bit? You’re casting a shadow on his magnificent chest.

KTHX.

Channing, I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you walk away.

“You don’t wanna know what I have to do for a $20.” YES I DO. YES I REALLY DO.

And now, in conclusion, I’d like to summarize my scientific reaction to this trailer using direct evidence from the specimen itself:

Yep, I’m with those ladies. I might even bring some dollar bills to throw at the screen.

So, what do you think, fellow scholars? Will you be joining me in further research when this film hits theaters?

Also, does anyone else think it got really hot here in the FYA lab just now? Anyone?

P.S. If you happen to possess the skills for making animated gifs, please make use of them. Immediately.