About:
Hold the phone! It’s time for The Vampire Diaries!!! After last week’s return of Jeremy (still no word on his dog,) possession of Rebekah by her mother and ONE EPIC KISS, I’m pretty geared up for the rest of the rest of the season!
However, this week’s episode title has me concerned. I’d like to think that it’s referring to the fact that neither of the Salvatore’s will give up Elena without a fight, but something inside me is afraid that it’s a little more foreboding than that. So without further preamble, the show!
Klaus is painting! Nice! I think he’s actually painting OVER another painting. Hmmm… is it a portrait of Caroline, perhaps? With a pony? Not Rebekah comes in and hands over the the old white oak stake, and convinces him that instead of leaving town immediately, they should stay for the next Mystic Falls gathering of death decade dance. (Oh Shit +1) I mean, she’s on the committee for pete’s sake!
Damon calls Alaric because he missed him while he was road tripping with Elena, but he doesn’t realize that President Mr. Hyde has taken over! Then Not Rebekah shows up and tells Alaric that she hid the real old white oak stake, and Klaus destroyed a fake! (Oh Shit +2) Then she gets him to dagger her so she can wake back up in her own body! (Oh Shit +3) Man, poor real Rebekah is always daggered somewhere when there’s a dance.
Caroline is experiencing sour grapes over the fact that Rebekah hijacked her decade party plans, and takes it out on a chandelier. She then teases Elena about getting caught by Jeremy while making out with Damon, and then convinces Elena to ask Stefan to the dance, saying that she should spend equal time with both brothers until she chooses one, because “fair is fair”. Caroline, somehow I don’t think that’s the way Billie Jean meant it.
In an adorably awkward phone call, Elena asks Stefan to go with her, but Damon overhears, and THAT awkwardness is not so fun. (Oh Shit +4)
Damon pulls a “gotcha!” on Mrs. Stefan at the hospital, is awesome with his “it was a little funny” reply to her scolding, and reveals that Alaric has not been taking his anti-psychotic medicine — in the form of herbs from Bonnie. (Oh Shit +5)
At the old Salvatore crypt, Mamma Original wants to use Alaric’s Ring of Power to put a protective spell over the old white oak stake. (Oh Shit +6) He hesitantly hands it over, and she melts it down and coats the stake in it! With a pretty bad special effect! BUT!!! BUT, Mamma Original, now Alaric doesn’t have a Ring of Power to protect him against the dying!!!!! Come ON, CW! Don’t do this to us!
We all appreciate Rebekah’s change of the decade dance from ’70s to ’20s as Elena answers the door looking unbelievably beautiful. Stefan, looking even better than he did in the ACTUAL ’20s gives her a white rose, and intense eye contact ensues. And I’ve gotta say, they’ve still got it! Or they’ve got it again! They really had lost the spark in all of the drama. So while I still want Elena and Damon to get together for at least a little while, I can’t deny that Elena and Stefan can be pretty magical, too. Maybe not unicorns and rainbows magical, but… Oh, also, Stefan is awesome *Drink!* by referencing the Mystic Falls deadly dance pattern.
All of the teenagers in Mystic Falls have magically learned the Charleston, and the party is buzzing as Caroline — ALSO looking unbelievably beautiful — tries to warn Matt about getting in the crossfire between Elena and all of the bad shit that constantly happens around her, but Matt — who is ALSO looking adorbs in his costume — is distracted by the appearance of Tyler. Okay, so the moral of the story here is that we should all dress like we’re from the ’20s, because those clothes make everyone look amazing! Anyway, Tyler is awesome *Drink!* answering Caroline’s concern about Klaus seeing him there with a “What’s he going to do? Draw you another picture?” And then he literally sweeps her off her feet.
Elena and Stefan arrive, and Stefan is awesome *Drink!* getting out of giving her some unneeded dance lessons by saying that he blacked out during most of the ’20s. They have a heart to heart in which he tells her that he doesn’t want to know what happened between her and Damon, and that after everything he put her through, he’s just happy to be there as her date.
Damon interrupts, telling them they need to talk, and as the three exit the dance, Jeremy — looking… AHEM! Very nice — sees them and follows. Of course, he also bumps into Bonnie, who’s there with Jamie as her step-brother/date, (Oh Shit +7) and is awesome *Drink!* when he tells her he’ll stop wearing his Ring of Power when his sister stops hanging out with vampires.
Damon tells them about the fact that Alaric hasn’t been taking his meds, and suggests killing him as a solution. NO ONE else agrees. (Oh Shit! +8) Now Damon, this kind of ruthlessness is, I believe, the old behavior you spoke of in the last episode. You know, the behavior you weren’t going to do any more?
George: What you’re talking about is TREASON, Damon. He is President, after all.
Jeremy runs off and Elena follows, telling him that she won’t let anyone put Alaric in a corner, but then Mamma Original shows up, and tells Elena to come with her. (Oh Shit +9) Jeremy rushes to get the Salvatores to help, but they can’t leave the premises because there’s a big trail of salt around the whole building! (Oh Shit +10) Now, maybe it’s just me, but couldn’t Jeremy, like, sweep some of it up and break the circle?
Bonnie and Jamie — who are both looking… oh YOU know — sneak into a classroom to make out talk and they make out! Surprise! Then, surprise! Damon walks in on them and is Mamma Original reveals her big plan for Alaric to Elena, and that is to make him into another Original!!! OH MY GOD!!!!! (OH SHIT!!!! +11) What is she thinking! She’s thinking that she’s turned him into a big vampire hating hater who will hate even more when he’s an Original! That’s what she’s thinking! I am simultaneously scared and thrilled by this prospect, but not for the same reasons as Mamma Origianl. I mean, an Original Alaric would be a lot more durable, yes? So maybe I wouldn’t have to spend every episode being afraid for his life. BUT could it also freeze him in his President Mr. Hyde state? Because I wouldn’t like that. Not at all. She says he’ll be getting his vengeance on all of the vampires who took away his life…
George: …by becoming a vampire… that’s just crazy talk.
Klaus tries to cut in on Caroline’s dancing with Tyler,
and Caroline tells him no way jose’, but Tyler yields to his alpha power. Klaus is awesome *Drink!* telling her that he doesn’t have to prove he’s the alpha, because he IS the alpha. And MAN, does he look nice. Anyway, Caroline isn’t impressed, even though he speaks truth when he tells her she’s too big for a small town life. He makes to leave, but that damn salt circle is pesky. Because there are no brooms in Mystic Falls High School.
Bonnie is working on finding a spell that will sweep away some of the salt, but Klaus is being a Mr. Impatient Pants, and threatens to choke Jamie if she doesn’t hurry. Stefan saves the day by reminding Klaus that Bonnie is, at times, a hard-ass. (Oh Shit +12)
Back at the Salvatore crypt, Elena tries to reason with Alaric, but President Mr. Hyde feels very strongly about his hate for the vampire. Then Mamma Original magics some blood out of Elena’s palm and Alaric drinks it. And THEN she stabs him in the chest! (OH SHIT!!! +99) Oh, Alaric.
Bonnie has a heart to heart with Damon about the whole ‘killing her mother’ thing over a locator spell, and Damon is awesome *Drink!* in his blatant non-apology. It was either Elena dies or your mom gets turned. Bonnie, apparently thinks he made the wrong choice. I’m not passing judgement on her, but I think this is something to keep in mind.
Caroline and Tyler discuss their options, and he thinks letting Esther kill Klaus is a good one, even though it would mean that he would die, too. Caroline tells him that no matter how many times she dances with Klaus, it’s Tyler she loves.
George: But just to be clear, I’m going to be dancing with him ALOT.
Mamma Original tells Elena that once Alaric wakes up and completes his task of killing all of her children, he’ll die! OH SHIT + 112) Lady is CLEARLY off her rocker. What is it with witches being vampire bigots?!! They hear a sound outside, and it’s Matt and Jeremy! And they’re armed! But then Mamma Original makes them turn their weapons on each other! (Oh Shit!!! +113) And then Alaric stabs a bitch! (OH SHIT!!!!! +2, 480)
George: What if the whole spell actually only amplified the GOOD in Alaric?!!! WHICH IS EVERYTHING.
And it’s Alaric-Alaric! But he doesn’t remember what happened, and has no idea he’s turning into an Original!!! (OH SHIT!!!! + 5,642)
Klaus and Stefan have a heart to heart about the real ’20s, but Damon is all like, “Whoah, there, he’s MY brother.” Then Klaus ponders whether the Salvatore bond will be broken when Elena chooses one of them over the other. But she’s already done that in the past few seasons, so… I don’t know. Anyway, Bonnie comes out, telling them that the spell is broken, but she still hasn’t forgiven the brothers, and with rights, but still… girlfriend needs a break.
Back at the Salvatore crypt, Jeremy joins Elena and Alaric, only to find out that Alaric has decided NOT to go through with the transition!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!! Nonononononononono! NO! There are beautiful goodbyes, but I REFUSE THIS!!!! Outside, everyone has assembled, and brought candles, and that’s making me think this is really happening. Alaric smiles at them and goes back into the crypt alone. (OH SHIT!!!! +9,999)
Klaus undaggers Rebekah, and taunts his mother’s body with his plans of building an army/family.
George: Oh, and Happy Mother’s Day.
Bonnie and Jamie arrive home, and he tells her that she’s amazing. Good. Bonnie needs this. At the Bronze, Matt pours Jeremy and himself a shot in honor of the President, and a single tear rolls down Jeremy’s cheek.
Elena is cleaning out Alaric’s classroom, because she just can’t do anything else. But Stefan pulls her into the gym and reminds her that it’s okay to feel. But Stefan, I’m trying to type!!! And I can’t type when I’m feeling, because when I’m feeling, I’m crying over Alaric, and I can’t see the keys!!!!! Or the screen!!!! Oh, and Elena’s upset, too.
Mrs. Stefan encourages Damon to go against Alaric’s wishes and have one more Handsome Club meeting. They are both awesome *Drink!* in their witty banter about dying and drinking, but tears roll down Alaric’s cheek and I think I’M the one who’s dying on account of my heart being ripped in two.
Bonnie is awoken by whispering witches *Drink!* and Esther tells her to finish what she started! But then she really wakes up! It was a dream! Or was it? (Oh Shit +10,000)
Alaric is having trouble breathing now, and he takes… one last breath. Damon walks out of the crypt, but Bonnie is there! And she gives him a migraine! (Oh Shit +10,001) And then she stabs her hand and gives the blood to Alaric! And then he eats her a little bit! (Oh Shit! 10,002) And then he stands up all vamped out, and grabs his stake! (OH SHIT x INFINITY!!!!!)
George: Oh, I don’t like this. Let my President die in peace. Show some respect.
But I’m going to say I’m going with this, because it keeps him on the show longer, and how AWESOME will it be to have Alaric as the ultimate villain?!!!! As long as he can turn good and help them when something eviler comes along.
Poor Bonnie. This is not going to help her attitude toward vampires. I said she needed a break, not to be made a meal out of. I don’t know. What. To. Feel. Obviously the ohshitometer is officially broken. All I do know is that this was the hardest episode to type through, and now I’m exhausted. I’ll see y’all in the comments.
