Well hello everyone! Fancy seeing you here! Here being the weekly Secret Circle recap. Well, Posh is off for the night because she’s busy doing this thing where she is getting married tomorrow. What’s it called? A wedding? Yeah, that thing. So I am stepping up for recapping duties, which totally counts as a wedding present, right? Maybe?
So I haven’t actually watched the show since my last recap, which was...7 episodes ago? And was too lazy to read any reviews and catch myself up. So let’s hope not too much has changed/happened. Wait, who am I kidding, everything will be the same. Jake will still have too much guyliner and Cassie will still be annoying. So let’s begin!
The members of the circle are talking about how they saw Nick. Nick is alive? Apparently the demon in him kept his body alive? Oh....kay. They apparently also found some witch hunters who were mauled, like by an animal. Nick is probably that animal! Melissa really wants demon Nick to be the real NIck. Because she hopes to have really sad sex again some day! Jake doesn’t consider the demon to be his brother anymore. And I dont’ really care either way.
John Blackwell is there. I guess Diana is John’s daughter too? Well, that sure complicates the whole thing where both Cassie and Diana love the same lame guy. Apparently the circle needs to find the crystal skull. And...it’s been hidden in the high school? That is obviously a wonderful place to hide things.
Cassie goes to the school and performs some sort of blood spell to locate the crystal. Cassie sees a flashback of her mother and Diana’s mother as well. Cassie convinces Diana to do the spell with her again, so it’s more powerful. They will do it tomorrow night, which just happened to be prom.
Diana is with her dad, Harry Hamlin Lite (HHL), who is looking way less Harry Hamlin-eque with his new haircut. But he’s not her REAL DAD. Does he even know it? Awwwkward.
Faye is going to prom with Jake. She wants them all to go in a limo and act like real people. Melissa goes to the Requisite LJ Smith House of Disrepair Set Far Away in the Woods. Nick is there and boy is he looking rough. Melissa reaches all new levels of pathetic and tries to convince demon Nick to like...be her friend or something. Girl, just FIND A NEW BOYFRIEND. You have ZERO standards, so I promise it can’t be THAT hard.
Principal Lesbian Lover (PLL) and John Blackwell have some sort of conversation that I missed because Comcast apparently thinks giving me a cable connection that works is optional.
The circle is hanging out at the Requisite LJ Smith House of Disrepair Set Far Away in the Woods, waiting for prom to start. Faye has champagne and she explains to Melissa that “The bubbles will help, I promise.” Oh Faye, you always have the potential to be so fun.
For some reason Cassie and Diana stop at a coffee shop. Before prom. And Diana runs into some cute british guy and I don’t know who he is? Diana invites him to come over to her house after prom. I hope she realizing that’s basically an invitation for sex. Normally I wouldn’t consider inviting any guy over, EVER, implies anything. But prom night, right after prom? Inviting a person over who isn’t your prom date? I don’t know WHAT that means.
They arrive at prom, which is sadly at their high school and the prom actually has a banner that just says PROM on it. That’s it. PROM. Hahahaha.
HHL is at home and a fire starts in his kitchen. It was John Blackwell who set it! But the fire’s gone...so I guess it was in his head? Well, that’s boring.
Cassie and Diana perform the crystal locating spell in an empty classroom. The girls mind-time travel back to 1995. Elsewhere, Nick breaks into the school and snaps a security guard’s neck.
Diana and Cassie’s mom are fighting in the flashback. It’s the day off the infamous boat fire! Diana’s mom is...kind of a bitch? She blames Cassie’s mom for MAKING her trust John Blackwell. Oh yeah, did Cassie’s mom also MAKE you let him put his dick in you? Also, were they really ALL HIGH SCHOOL/TEEN parents?! What on earth?! Did they have some sort of high school witch baby pact?
Melissa is pouting outside the dance. She’s whining about how no one in high school will remember them and they didn’t get to have a fun time in high school because they’re witches. Girl, shut on up. High school sucks for everyone, including us non-witches.
"No one EVER looks in the trophy case..."
Cassie’s mom Amelia is giving Adam’s grandpa a crystal back. She is trying to leave Chance Harbor. Ethan is turning John over to the witch hunters. John Blackwell apparently used magic so the other girls in the circle would conceive with their boyfriends. He was creating his own circle. That’s actually crazy. Also, apparently EVERY girl in the circle was sexual active. Didn’t ANYONE abstain in 1995?! Grandpa hides the crystal in a trophy case. Cassie finally figures out that John Blackwell is bad. Took you long enough!
Diana has a conversation similar to their mothers. It’s all Cassie’s fault, apparently! And it’s apparently Cassie’s fault that Cassie’s MOM brought Blackwell in, completely ignoring that it was all the OTHER witches who decided to make that stupid deal with the witch hunters.
Jake does what I feel like doing every time I see Adam - RUNS AWAY
They go after the crystal in the trophy case. But Nick takes it from them. Diana goes home and finds HHL in a state of panic. She realizes HHL was the one who killed Cassie’s mom. Wah wah.
The other members of the circle go to some junkyard. Nick is trying to give the crystal to the witch hunters. Evan The Scarred Witch Hunter tries to kill Faye and Adam with a car, but John Blackwell intervenes. Nick tries to go after Cassie and Jake has to stop him. Brother on brother fight! Nick has the upper hand until Melissa stabs him.
And that’s it for this week! What did you all think? For an episode titled Prom, there sure wasn’t very much prom’ing. And is anyone sad that Nick is dead...for the SECOND time. Next week is the season finale. What are your predictions?