Now that Insurgent, the sequel to Divergent is out, I figured it was time to troll the internets looking for our man Four. BUT, when I did a google image search of the words "Four Divergent" ('cause let's face it, just typing in "four" wouldn't have done much for anyone.) JUST to see what would happen, I never thought in a million years it would bring up such massive amounts of awesome. And awesomely bad. So much so that I had to add an extra row for evaluation! Below are my highly scientific assessments, based on nothing but looking at the thumbnails presented.
1. Hmmm... pretty... pretty girly looking. No I jest, he's handsome, but... NOT FOUR.
2. Oooh, look! Now this I can get behind! Max Irons and Saoirse Ronan, if I'm not mistaken. I never would have thought of Max for Four, but I have to say, I don't hate the idea.
3. Aaannnd... it's Max Irons again! Jeremy Irons, have I told you lately how glad I am you decided to breed?
1. Uh, no. Four would never pose like that. Period.
2. Oh look! Somebody ELSE cast Saoirse Ronan and Max Irons! And did a charcoal drawing of them! Or a pastel? Or a rubbing? I don't really know, but well done, someone. I really hope this is a picture of the cover of someone's Trapper Keeper.
3. Get your Gale out of my search for Four.
1. What do I spy with my little eye? A collage of Ben Barnes? He's technically too old to play Four, but will always get a check from me. ALWAYS.
2. NO. I don't even... just no. I mean, I get what they're going for here, with the flames, but this looks more like a bad Bob Dylan albulm cover.
3. Sorry Dean Winchester. You are very handsome, but Four you are not.
1. It's like Max Irons has been cloned up in this business! Ding! Ding! Ding!
2. HELLO triceps! Is this the same guy from the very first picture? 'Cause, you didn't tell me about all of the muscles, first picture!
3. What are these four actors doing in a row together? Are they alternate options for Tris and Four? Also? No. No. No. and no. Even though one of them is, you guessed it, Max Irons, but these are four incredibly hideous pictures of four otherwise very attractive individuals.
1. Haha. THIS is on the cover of somebody's Trapper Keeper. For sure. And if I look at it compared to the picture above it, am I mistaken, or is that Max Irons AGAIN?
2. Unless this is a picture of long-haired Donald Sutherland, and long-haired Donald Sutherland is going to be directing the movie version of Divergent, I want nothing to do with it. Although I guess he could be some other director, and I'd be okay with that. But I've got my eye on you, other director.
3. Oh, Jeremy Gilbert. Your pouty face is perfect for a great many things, but playing Four is not one of them.
1. I like it. The dart board reminds me of the knife-throwing scene, and the guy posing as Four looks sufficiently tough, but this artwork KIND of looks more like it's for a Smoky and the Bandit - type story.
2. I can only see X's covering this photo. Who is this guy?!!! You're fired!
3. IS THIS FOR REAL?!!! God, why did we make up the stupid rule about not clicking on the thumbnail?!!!
1. I see that the folks posting to google images travel in the same circles as me. Damon Salvatore always gets a check!
2. Is this Divergent, or Sin City? Who ARE those people? Who IS that hideous girl?!!! And more importantly, WHY is she scratching her leg?!!!
1. THIS. This is AMAZING!!! See, you've got the factions right there! And the artwork is AWESOME.
2. Pacey and Edward and Peeta, Oh my ARRGHHH!!!!! This is like a triple threat of faces that DO NOT BELONG on my Four page!!!!
And there you have it! Now I'll turn it over to you. Agree? Disagree? Have any further
snap judgements analysis to add? It's all yours!