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A Highly Scientific Analysis of the Great Gatsby Trailer

After careful research, Posh determines that the new Baz Luhrmann movie should actually be called Why Isn't This My Life?.

A Highly Scientific Analysis of the Great Gatsby Trailer

I've been a huge Baz Lurhmann fan since I saw Strictly Ballroom and wished I could change my name to Tina Sparkle. I swooned over Romeo & Juliet, I cried my eyes out during Moulin Rouge, and yes, I even liked Australia, mostly because Hugh Jackman really knows how to put on a gun show. I'm telling you this so you know that I was already totally spazzing about his upcoming adaptation of The Great Gatsby.

And then, you guys, I saw the trailer. And my eyeballs were drenched in glitter and my liver cried out for all of those cocktails and my brain screamed to be invited to those parties and the near-lethal levels of my excitement and jealousy threatened to rip me in two. I almost lost consciousness, is what I'm saying.

Such an extreme (and potentially deadly) reaction must be investigated in the most meticulous manner possible. Thankfully, we here at FYA have science on our side! Let's begin our analysis by viewing the trailer itself.

Unfortunately, the subject has now contaminated our lab with a tremendous amount of envy, which will make it difficult to conduct this research in an unbiased manner. But we shall prevail! Because we are professionals!

If FYA ever took a road trip, I'd like to think it would look like this.

WANT.

Wow. Thanks, trailer. You just ruined regular pool parties for me FOREVER.

I wish my college career counselor had told me that dressing up and holding champagne at parties was an option because I WOULD BE SO GOOD AT IT.

My first thought during this scene: SO MANY MARTINIS.

My second thought: If we ever build an FYA HQ, it will be an exact replica of this room, minus the old man. The lady can stick around if she loans me that dress.

The only thing I don't envy about this film is Leo's face.

WANT.

WANT.

WANT.

Hey Breaking Dawn trailer, remember that close up of Bella's wedding hair comb? You know, the one you wanted to merchandise and sell to tons of Twihards? Well, SUCK ON THIS.

A HUGE BOTTLE OF MOET? Oh trailer, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE.*

*Ok, you definitely should have.

After careful study, I conclude my investigation with the following finding:

BEING RICH IS AWESOME.

And I am totally seeing this movie. Like a million times.

Fellow scientists, what say you?

Posh Deluxe's photo About the Author: Sarah lives in Austin, TX, where she programs films at the Alamo Drafthouse. Sarah enjoys fancy cocktails, dance parties and anything that sparkles (except vampires).