Here at FYA, we like to bring you unbiased, scientific analysis. Which is why before watching the new trailer for The Perks of Being a Wallflower, I didn't actually read the Stephen Chbosky novel on which it's based. (But Posh has, and you can read her review here.) I wouldn't want to introduce bias into the study, you see. It's not laziness, it's SCIENCE.
So first, let's watch the trailer together:
Good! Now that that's taken care of, to the analysis!
Sad Logan Lerman is sad. He's also writing a letter to someone, which will excuse the voiceover for the rest of this film. I haven't actually seen a single movie with this kid, so I have no opinions on his casting.
Hey guys! It's Nina Dobrev! She's playing cards in a hospital with Sad Logan Lerman (SLL) and some toolish-looking dude!
It's SLL's first day of high school! And, you guys, is that really what kids are wearing these days? It's like someone took grunge fashion and made it less committed or interesting. And WHAT is that red and black sweater?! I miss the 80s fashion revival. At least, if we're moving forward in time, does that mean I get to start dressing like Cher from Clueless soon? Cause I could be on board with that. And speaking of...
[ED: turns out this movie takes place in the 90s! Who knew? Well, all of you that read the book, I guess. So that explains that. Well maybe. I'm still questioning these kids' commitment to the grunge cause. There is nary a ripped jean among them!]
Josh!!! I'm so glad and also surprised that you are the one from Clueless with the most stable career now.
Oh hipsterish movie, you know just how to rope me in with your typefaces and your bright solid colors. I don't care if Nic Cage rolls in on a flaming motorcycle from the underworld in the next shot. I am seeing shit out of this movie for that scratchy typewriter font.
SLL is sad at the Homecoming Dance. Do people actually still go to Homecoming dances? When I was in high school, it was mostly student councily types who were required to attend. Mad props to SLL for going to a school function when he has no friends.
Or maybe he just went because he really wanted Hermione's autograph. That's fair. Oh by the way, Hermione is in this movie! And I know she probably doesn't want me calling her Hermione, which is likely part of the reason she hacked off all her hair and started speaking with an American accent in this movie. I'm sorry, Emma, but you'll always be Hermione to me!
Hermione plays the part of Manic Pixie Dream Girl. We know this because she does irresponsible but quirky things, like stand in the back of a pickup truck waving her arms in the air like she just don't care.
Or perform burlesque dancing, which I'm so sure you're allowed to do when you're 17.
Also Ezra Miller is in this. I'm not entirely clear on who Ezra Miller is, other than he plays that psycho kid in that new Tilda Swinton movie, but I think I may love him. He has all the best lines in this trailer.
You know that SLL wants to be a serious writer, because he uses a typewriter instead of a MacBook.
I have bad associations with Juno, but mostly that's because my wallet got stolen in the movie theater while I was watching it, and I had to leave the country the next day. I'm assuming this is a positive feature for most people.
Awww, Hermione's getting ready to go off to Brown! Hey, is that Mae Whitman? She's still playing high school students? Then again, Emma Watson looks like she's about 30 in the makeup they have her in for this movie, so I guess anything goes these days.
Ruh roh! Hermione has a douchey and potentially abusive boyfriend! And SLL just has to sit on and watch longingly because he's clearly in love with her but will probably never act on his feelings because he has to self-actualize instead, this being a coming of age movie and all. Also, NYE is the WORST holiday ever. Hermione should have known to stay home.
SLL has to go work out his feelings by making perfect snow angels in implausibly powdery snow.
Hermione needs to stop hanging out of cars. It's stressing me out because all I can think of is that episode of Six Feet Under where the drunk lady sticks her head out the window and get's her skull crushed by a stop light and they have to figure out how to reconstruct her entire head for the funeral. In other news, happy Tuesday Morning! I hope you weren't eating breakfast just now.
High School! Where you throw papers up in the air on the last day of school!
High School! Where you loiter at inappropriate hours!
High School! Where you beat up some hulking ginger in the cafeteria for gay bashing your friend!
High School! Where you finally self actualize with the help of MPDG Hermione, but probably still don't get to bang her because that's not really what this movie is about.
Official Scientific Findings:
This movie will probably be pretty good.
Hermione might actually be able to have a career where she plays characters who are not Hermione!
I am easily swayed by a good font. YA Book cover designers, take note.
What do you think of the trailer? Does anyone who has actually read the book want to weigh in? Who wants to go with me when it comes out?