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Won’t You Slide Into My Room?

Erin reviews Slide by Jill Hathaway, a book that unfortch suffers from Mara Dyer syndrome.

Won’t You Slide Into My Room?

BOOK REPORT for Slide (Slide Book 1)  by Jill Hathaway

Cover Story: Cousin Darwish Would Not Approve
BF Charm: Meh
Swoonworthy Scale:  -4,126
Talky Talk: Quit When You're On Top
Bonus Factors: Murderin'
Relationship Status: Like The Summer Months, You Go On Too Long

Cover Story:  Cousin Darwish Would Not Approve

If you haven't seen Aziz Ansari's stand-up, you should.  Obvs!  What are you waiting for?  Anyway, in his stand-up he talks a lot about his cousins, Harris and Darwish.  Harris is in high school and loves the dramas of TNT.  Darwish, his older brother, is nineteen and Kanye's second biggest fan (I, of course, am his first).  Ansari has a bit where Darwish gets into a fight with Kanye because Darwish thinks he ripped off "Flashing Lights" from a NeYo track. What does this have to do with this book?  Very little.  Except!  That the cover of the book made me think there were lights flashing on it, and then I thought about "Flashing Lights" and then I thought about that bit in Aziz's stand-up and then I told me cat, "Darwish is accusing you of jacking beats, homey!"  And then my cat looked up at me and meowed, which I am pretty sure was cat for "Noooooo!  That song came out afterwaaaard!"

The Deal:

Vee Bell (yeah, I know.  That's her name!  Vee Bell. P.S. my new name is Err Lane.  Address checks accordingly!) has been diagnosed with narcolepsy, which has to be the COOLEST disease ever.  You can nap ANY TIME YOU WANT.  I mean, I bet if any of you have narcolepsy, you're probably rolling your eyes right now and composing a comment about how narcolepsy is SRS BZNZ and it's not funny and you could do without the insults and YOU'RE TOTALLY RIGHT.  But can't we just pretend for a second that narcolepsy is just a way to cop catnaps all day long?  Let's look on the bright side, shall w?

Anyway, Vee doesn't really have naroclepsy, though.  What she does instead is slide into someone else's conscious while she herself is unconscious.  So, like, let's say she wanted to stretch out for that catnap we were talking about earlier.  Instead of just getting some zzzs, she might instead find hersel in her dad's head while he cried and masturbated.  Gross!  So, obvs, she tries really hard NEVER to fall asleep.

But one day she passes out and slides into the head of someone unknown . . . and watches that person murder her sister's best friend, Sophie. 

Everyone in school just assumes that Sophie Heather MacNamera'd herself, but Vee knows the truth.  And she also knows that Sophie's murderer is close by, and could even be someone she knows.

BFF Charm: Meh

It isn't that I didn't like Vee - she was perfectly nice.  It's just that I wanted a little more from her.  I thought it was really interesting how she tried never to sleep, and would have enjoyed seeing some of the psychosis that should have come from that.  Still, I enjoyed hanging out with her for the most part.  So I wouldn't invite her to sit with me in the caf, but I'd give her a smile and a wave in the hall.

Swoonworthy Scale: -4,126

Oof.  There are unfortunately two parts of Slide that ruined an otherwise good book, and the romance angle is one of them.  Unfortch, I can't really say more without spoiling, but just let it be known that Vee is a complete and total moron.

Talky Talk: Quit While You're Ahead

This book unfortunately suffers from the same problem as The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer, in that it ends approximately 10 chapters later than it should.  This book actually had the opposite problem as Mara Dyer, which ruined a good mystery with paranomal aspects.  In this case, the book had a fair amount of paranormal aspects already and ruined it with a ridiculous and needlessly dramatic mystery.  But, just like Mara Dyer, the parts that were good were pretty dang good.  I just wish this book's ending could have been rewritten.

Bonus Factor:  Murderin'

Mysteries and Actual Bad Guys are high on my Milk Carton list, and in that instance, this book delivers!  I particularly liked the string of murderers made to look like suicides, and only wish that someone could have been wearing a Big Fun shirt in the book.

Casting Call:

India Eisley as Vee

India Eisley is in The Secret Life of the American Teenager, which means she's probably awful.  But!  She's also going to play young Maleficent in the Maleficent movie!!!  She'd better not suck at it!

Relationship Status: Like The Summer Months, You Go On Too Long

Oh man, it's only mid-June, but I'm already SO SICK OF SUMMER.  I know that a lot of people love the summer, but I see it as a sticky, hot waiting period until everything that's good.  Halloween!  Thanksgiving!  Christmas!  Fall leaves!  Spiced cider!  Sweater weather!  WHY IS IT SO HOT OUTSIDE?

This book is a lot like the summer months are for me.  At first I highly anticipated it and dove right in.  And I really enjoyed it at first!  But then it started growing too sticky, too needlessly convoluted, and I just started wishing it could be over. 

FTC Full Disclosure:  I received a free copy of this book from HarperCollins.  I received neither money nor cocktails for this review (damnit!).  Slide is available in stores now.

Erin Callahan's photo About the Author: Erin is loud, foul-mouthed, an unrepentant lover of trashy movies and believes that champagne should be an every day drink. When she isn't drowning in a sea of engineers for whom Dilbert is still uproariously funny, she's writing about books, tv, the cult of VC Andrews and more.
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