Highly Scientific Analysis: Step into the FYA lab as we dissect our subjects in a search for the good, the bad and the downright ridiculous. See More...
Let's Go to the Movies!: Scientific analysis, discussion and freak-outs about film. See More...

A Highly Scientific Analysis of the LES MISÉRABLES Trailer

Megan analyzes the trailer for Les Misérables and finds herself with a mixed bag of emotions.

A Highly Scientific Analysis of the LES MISÉRABLES Trailer

So the first Les Mis trailer came out a couple of weeks ago and at the time I thought something along the lines of “OH, we HAVE to talk about this on FYA” but did I do it?  No.  I probably got distracted by something like a nap and it seemed like this post was never going to happen.  But happen it did.  And better late than never, or at least that’s what I assume my friends think when they get their Christmas presents from me in late March.

So let’s be straight, this movie is kind of a big deal.  Broadway nerds have been dreaming of a musical adaptation of Les Misérables their entire song and dance loving lives.  I remember watching the 1998 film with Liam Neeson and being like “WHAT GIVES, WHERE IS MY MUSIC?”  And now, finally, this story will be told the way it was always meant to be told. THROUGH SONG.

But before we get too excited, we need to see what exactly we’re being offered.  So let’s take a look at the first official Les Mis trailer in its entirety.

Now let’s take a closer look!

Wow, ummm, Hugh Jackman, you are looking pretty rough.  This is not your best you!  Your hair is in all the wrong places.

A totally necessary and not at all cliched shot of...children running toward the camera.

Fantine looks so fetching in her factory uniform!  I mean Fantine, even if they think you’re a prostitute, they most likely think you’re the fancy, high-priced kind?  But Anne Hathaway as Fantine?  That makes me feel like eating a big ol’ bowl of SCHMEH.

I don’t seem to recall a boat in the musical.  Is this what French chain gangs used to look like?

Oh thank god, MUCH better.  Hugh is looking so much more dapper now.  Seriously though, could there have been a more perfect Jean Valjean?  Hugh has got the musical background and I’m already partially convinced that he may be the most noble human alive.

UHHHH, just uhhhhhhhh.  Who on earth made this casting decision?  Can Russell Crowe even SING?  Actually, I just remembered that Russell is in a “band”.  But that doesn’t count.  Javert should be really sharp and cold and dangerous looking.  Russell is too soft!  Do not want.

Amanda Seyfried is another great casting choice.  We already know she can sing and just like Cosette, she’s so pretty and perfect that you just kiiiind of want to hate her, but can’t.

So this is when the trailer FINALLY remembers that our story is set to take place during a revolution.  CAN YOU HEAR THE FREAKING PEOPLE SING?

Well, helloooooooooooo Marius!  I’m assuming this is our sweet Marius?  (A quick wikipedia check confirms that as a yes.)  I don’t know who he is, but I APPROVE.  That said, pretty or not, what type of hair gel could they have POSSIBLY had in 1830s France?

This is EXACTLY how I looked giving my hair to Locks of Love.

This trailer gives us approximately TWO seconds of Eponine.  Two goddamn seconds.  Like, I know she’s not movie famous (I guess she played Eponine on the West End), but Eponine is every girl’s favorite Les Mis character.  If this movie stiffs us on our Eponine time, I am going to SET SHIT ON FIRE.  Because as a 14 year girl, there is NO one I identified with more than Eponine.  Because she was the girl who didn’t get the guy and DIED*.  And even though those things didn’t happen to me, when you’re 14, you FEEL as though those two things are happening to you, ALL THE TIME.  Also, can I just say thank GOD they didn’t cast Taylor Swift like they were planning.  That would have been all sorts of wrong.

*I refuse to give you a spoiler alert on a story that in one hundred and fifty years old.

Also of note (but not in the trailer), Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter are going to be playing the Thenardiers.  Worst idea ever or best idea ever?

And as a comment on the trailer as a whole - what is up with us being subjected to Anne Hathaway’s raspy, syphilis addled rendition of "I Dreamed a Dream"?  Five years ago no one would have ever considered this to be the musical’s flag ship song.  Susan Boyle, WHAT HATH THOU WROUGHT UPON US?

So what say you all?  Does this trailer make you excited?  Nervous?  Angry?  Constipated?  Will you be seeing this come December?

Megan Crane's photo About the Author: Megan is an unabashed fangirl who is often in a state of panic about her inability to watch, read and play all the things.