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DANCE ACADEMY Season 2: My Tear Ducts Are Permanently Scarred

A discussion of the latest season, which will teach you the importance of buying Kleenex in bulk.

DANCE ACADEMY Season 2: My Tear Ducts Are Permanently Scarred

Ok, y'all, so I'm FINALLY ready to talk about Season Two. Sorry it took me so long, I just had this thing happen where I would start sobbing uncontrollably every time I thought about Dance Academy, and it made writing a post difficult, not to mention the water damage my keyboard sustained.

So if you haven't finished Season Two yet, I beg of you, READ NO FURTHER. STOP RIGHT NOW. Seriously, please don't read this post. You will hate yourself for it later, I promise.

Alrighty, is everyone else ready? I mean, like, do you have some tissue on hand? And a glass of wine to cry into? Cool. Let's do this.

SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

OHMYGODSAMMMY.

I CANNOT BELIEVE THE SHOW KILLED YOU!!!!! Those bastards are more heartless than Grace.

Seriously, though, you guys. WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITHOUT SAMMY? HOW WILL WE GO ON? DOES LIFE HAVE ANY MEANING?

As with any monumental, globally devastating death, we should talk about where we were when it happened. I'll go first. I was on the elliptical at the gym. Which, you know, is the PERFECT PLACE to find out that your incredibly dear, cherished fictional bestie has been hit by a car and is now dead. Like, you know that scene in Bridget Jones where she gets off the exercise machine and falls over? That's what happened to me. Except it wasn't funny. IT WAS TRAGIC. On account of the TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE AND SNOT EXPLODING FROM MY NOSE.

I mean, was I the only one that was insanely shocked by this development? When I heard the news, I felt like *I* had been hit by a car.

And as if my heart wasn't broken enough, the show had to take it out and cut it up into a billion pieces with the scenes that followed, specifically Abigail crying in the shower. Seeing Abigail cry is like seeing a teacher outside of school. It's totally unnatural and FRIGHTENING.

And there were still two more episodes to go! Which meant two more opening credits where we had to see Sammy's darling face smiling and being happy and ALIVE and SWEET BABY J MY HEART CAN'T HANDLE IT. But I soldiered on, and I'm glad I did, because the final two episodes of the season where heartbreaking and beautiful and perfect. Just perfect.

What I Loved/Wept Over in The Second:

Flashbacks with Sammy: OH LITTLE SAMMY I WISH I COULD HUG YOU BUT YOU'RE DEAD NOW AND I THINK SOMEONE JUST STABBED MY HEART WITH A DULL, RUSTY KNIFE.

Abigail losing her shizz during the audition: I actually had to step off the elliptical and plunge my face into a million paper towels after this scene. (And yes, I kept watching this at the gym even though I knew I would cry. Because I'm an idiot. And also it's a crazy compelling reason to go to the gym.)

Abigail remembering Sammy's dying wish during his caffeine incident: DAMN, I'm impressed, show. I am deeply impressed. But I still hate you for killing Sammy.

Sammy's Bucket List: SLAYED ME. SLAYED. ME.

Sammy's favorite and second favorite songs: The first one made me laugh. The second one made me weep tears of infinite sadness. It's called More Than Life by Whitley, and I may or may not have listened to it on repeat in a sorrowful daze. Here, join me.

And then they jumped into the ocean as the sun rose and there was a group hug and at this point I could barely see the screen through my river of tears and Tara said this:

I'd give anything for this awful emptiness to go away. And, more than anything, I don't want to say good-bye. So I won't. I'll just say thank you... that I knew you. There's no need to say good-bye when you'll remember forever.

BREAKING NEWS: LOCAL WOMAN POSH DELUXE HAS DROWNED IN HER OWN TEARS.

What I Loved/Wept Over in The Red Shoes:

Ms. Rain telling Tara to use her emotion in dance: The only thing that would have made this scene better is if Ms. Rain had laid her hand on Tara's heart and said, "Feel the rhythm!" a la Strictly Ballroom.

Tara dancing with Sammy on the stage: AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

The group dance on the stage to Sammy's routine: I CAN'T EVEN. IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. LIKE HEAVING CHEST SOBS UGLY CRY BEAUTIFUL.

And that song, in case you were wondering, is "Easy to Love" by the Jezabels. Hey, is it possible to wear out tracks on Spotify?

YOU'RE WELCOME!

And then, AFTER ALL OF THAT, Grace won. Because she is Satan.

And then Abigail and Ethan went to Spain, and Christian left with his dad, and Kat and Tara are going to the farm (where we better see more baby kangaroos), and Grace decided to return to the academy. I hope Saskia comes back too, just so she can break Grace's back into a bazillion pieces and then everyone can dance upon them and grind the pieces into dust with their toe shoes.

Obviously, the loss of Sammy was the most pivotal moment of Season Two, but here are some great, less depressing ones:

- Benjamin Tickle's evolution from obnoxious to total sweetheart hottie.

- Abigail pretending to be Vanessa Hudgens.

- The addition of Zach, the dead sexy dance teacher.

- Sammy dancing in the cafe. RIP SAMMY.

- The flash mob scene, aka a reboot of the Step Up 2 subway scene.

- Sammy's Jessie Spano caffeine moment.

- Kat as a fairy at the kid's birthday party with pirate Christian.

- The addition of Ollie, who is mega hot.

- Tara reading Jellicoe Road.

- Saskia resigning. PEACE OUT BIOTCH.

- Kat's line: "Hunger is my default emotion."

- Little kids spinning around as planets in the hospital play.

Now it's time to turn this convo over to y'all in the comments. What did you love/hate about this season? What do you hope happens next season? WHEN WILL IT BE NEXT SEASON?

Also, HOW ARE YOU COPING WITH SAMMY'S DEATH? My preferred method is creating internet fan art in his memory.

Posh Deluxe's photo About the Author: Sarah lives in Austin, TX, where she programs films at the Alamo Drafthouse. Sarah enjoys fancy cocktails, dance parties and anything that sparkles (except vampires).