Book Report: Our highly scientific analysis of a book, from the characters to the writing style to the swoon. See More...

Just Call Me Patty Hearst, ‘Cause I Would Rob A Bank With This Book

Alix reviews Morning Glories, Vol. 2 and is still not sure what this book is about, but will follow it to the ends of the earth to find out. 

Just Call Me Patty Hearst, ‘Cause I Would Rob A Bank With This Book

BOOK REPORT for Morning Glories, Vol. 2: All Will Be Free by Nick Spencer and Joe Eisma 

Cover Story: Ugh, No.
BFF Charm: Nay
Swoonworthy Scale: -10
Talky Talk: J.J. Abrams
Arty Art: Meh.
Bonus Factors: Flashbacks, Time Travel
Relationship Status: Stockholm Syndrome

Cover Story: Ugh, No.

Thank God comic books are too big to carry around in public, because this cover makes it look like I’m reading some smutty school girl fantasy soft-porn. No thanks.

The Deal:

As the Morning Glories saga continues, we learn a little more about each character’s dark past. A mysterious man called Abraham plays a seemingly pivotal role in each student’s personal history. Meanwhile, in the present, Academy students continue to suffer grisly deaths, and events occur that would appear to defy the laws of nature.

BFF Charm: Nay

I really want to befriend some of these kids, but they are making it SO HARD. Everytime I start to trust one of them, some crazy aspect of their past (or future?) is revealed, and I don’t know what to think anymore. Maybe by Vol. 3 I’ll have a “Make It Rain” picture up there. Probably not.

Swoonworthy Scale: -10

Oh my goddd fictional teachers, stop sleeping with your teenage students. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Talky Talk: J.J. Abrams

I was pretty confused during Vol. 1, but I think I’m starting to get the hang of Spencer’s story telling. Morning Glories is frequently compared to Lost, and it’s easy to see why. We learn much of the characters’ backstory through flashbacks, and there are also weird glimpses of supernatural stuff that appear without explanation. But with Lost, I peaced out as soon as that polar bear showed up on the tropical island. I’m more intrigued by the story here, and Spencer has mastered the art of suspense. Every issue brings a fresh cliffhanger, more crazy than the last.

Arty Art: Meh.

I’m just not feeling the visuals this time around. Now that I’m mostly numb to the gratuitous gore splattered all over the page, I can’t help but be distracted by the creepy objectified manner in which every female character is drawn (see: cover story, which is thankfully done by a different artist). I know it’s not really Eisma’s fault; it’s kind of the nature of the comic book industry that female characters are blow-up dolls, even when they are totally boss strong female leads. I feel squicky reading things where the feminist values of the content seem so totally at odds with the way the visuals are presented.

Also. ALSO. I have a really hard time distinguishing certain characters. I don’t know if this is deliberate, but isn’t the story confusing enough without me having to flip back to previous issues every five seconds to determine if someone is the same character or not? This is particularly problematic because characters seem to show up in different parts of their own time-stream, but I can’t ever tell how old they are supposed to be. You certainly are making me work for it, guys.

Bonus Factor: Flashbacks

Much of Vol. 2 is told through flashbacks. Flashbacks can sometimes drag down the pacing of a story with too much exposition, but Spencer manages to perfectly balance the action-packed present with the complete WTFery of the past, so that when I’m in a flashback, I can’t wait to get back to the action, but when I’m in the present action, I want more backstory.

Bonus Factor: Time Travel

I FREAKING LOVE TIME TRAVEL! I’m not actually convinced yet that time travel is what is happening here? But there is definitely some non-linear timeline action, and I’ll take what I can get.

Casting Call:

Dilshad Vadsaria as Zoe

She is too old to be playing teenagers, but she would be PERFECT as Zoe.

Ed Westwick as Ike

Ugh. Ike. Someone in the comments of my Vol. 1 review noted that Ike was just murderous Chuck Bass, and they are not wrong.

Lee Min Ho as Hisao

TWICE THE LEE MIN HO! Thank god for identical twins.

I’m still not sure about Hunter and Jade. There aren’t enough non-sassy gingers in Hollywood.

Relationship Status: Stockholm Syndrome

After our first date, I was wary of you, book. You are clearly unhinged, but it is also kind of hot? Now that we’ve been seeing each other for a little while, I’m totally buying into your craziness. This will probably end badly for me, so I’m hoping this is more of a V for Vendetta kind of relationship than a Patty Hearst situation, cause the truth is, I’m already too far gone to turn back now.

Alix West's photo About the Author: Alix is a writer and illustrator who spends way too much time reading Jane Austen retellings of varying quality.
K