Book Report: Our highly scientific analysis of a book, from the characters to the writing style to the swoon. See More...

Phys Ed Would Have Been More Exciting With Some Extra Murder

Alix reviews Morning Glories, Vol. 3 by Nick Spencer and Joe Eisma and sees what these crazy kids at the genius torture prison are up to this time.

Phys Ed Would Have Been More Exciting With Some Extra Murder

BOOK REPORT for Morning Glories, Vol. 3: P.E. by Nick Spencer and Joe Eisma

Cover Story: Better
BFF Charm: Hell Nah!
Swoonworthy Scale: 0
Talky Talk: Still Lost
Bonus Factors: Murder Mystery, Scavenger Hunt
Relationship Status: Going To The Chapel

Cover Story: Better

Anything would be better than that last cover. I still think it looks like a stylized poster for an emo Korean drama (THAT I WOULD TOTALLY WATCH) rather than a warning for the batshit insanity that lies inside, but this cover is perfectly respectable.

The Deal:

In this third volume of Morning Glories, I should really stop pretending like I know what the hell is going on. But I’ll give it my best shot anyway!

At the Morning Glory Torture Prison for Genius Children Academy, the kids are sent on a school-wide scavenger hunt in the woods. Much to their dismay, the “good” kids and the “bad” kids get intermingled, leaving Casey, Ike and Jade on one team, with Zoe, Hunter, and Jun on another. During the hunt, the sky goes black, and the students are seemingly launched into a different dimension, separate from the teachers. Bodies keep piling up as at least one murderous student is on the loose. Meanwhile, Miss Hodge, school guidance counselor and seemingly nice sister of the evil Mrs. Daramount, attempts to help Casey escape the school through some sort of portal that will send her back in time.

BFF Charm: Hell Nah!

This book reinforces what I’ve always suspected--I can’t trust these kids as far as I can throw them. Which is not at all, since I have no upper body strength. Too many skeletons in the Morning Glory Academy closets, figuratively and literally. I imagine some of the characters have to turn out decently in the end, but WHO CAN KNOW WHICH ONES?

Swoonworthy Scale: 0

Unless you’re turned on by Casey’s perpetual jerking around of poor Hunter, no swoon here.

Talky Talk: Still Lost

My opinions on the art and language haven’t really changed since Morning Glories 2. It’s still confusing as hell and filled with the same gory, overly-breasty comic book art. And I do not care in the slightest, because boy, is it a page-turner.

Bonus Factor: Murder Mystery

Up until this point, we don’t have a clear motive for the murders that have been happening just off-panel, and everyone is a suspect. In this run, we still have no motive, but we do catch a murderer in the act. And all I have to say is, WTF?! HOW IS THAT THE END OF VOLUME 3?! DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING LIKE THIS.

Bonus Factor: Scavenger Hunt

Scavenger hunts are so fun! This one less so, on account of the Lord of the Flies, parallel dimension aspect. But I still like reading about it, even if I don’t want to participate myself.

Casting Call:

There is a serious ginger drought in Hollywood. MORE GINGERS.

Molly C. Quinn as Jade

Rupert Grint as Hunter

I really wish I could find a way to cast Lee Min Ho again. Can there be a Jun/Hisao cloning experiment in the next volume? Otherwise, I may have to start reading manhwa. It would be a necessary sacrifice to put more pictures of my favorite Korean actor up on this site.

Relationship Status: Going To The Chapel

I know, I know, you’re all skeptical. We’ve only been on three dates, and let’s be honest, I actually know nothing about this book. It could turn out to be a serial killer or a secret fascist or think Water World is a good movie. But what I do know is what’s important: we’re in LOVE! I have to trust my instinct on this one, even though I suspect our wedding might end like this:

Alix West's photo About the Author: Alix is a writer and illustrator who spends way too much time reading Jane Austen retellings of varying quality.
K