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Awkward 2x7: Another One Bites the Dust

Jake finally learns the unfortunate truth, and Henry from Ringer makes an unfortunate appearance.

Awkward 2x7: Another One Bites the Dust

Previous episode: "What Comes First: Sex or Love?"

Hey y'all! I've got a flight at the butt crack of dawn tomorrow, so this week's analysis of Awkward is going to be light on the summary and heavy on the wild flying opinions. So just like Facepunch, LET'S DO THIS.

Fave slang/phrase: "I'm married, bitches!" -Aunt Ally (Was it just me, or was this episode a little low on zingers?)

Matty or Jake (who won this episode): Matty

OMG moment: When Sadie tells Jake about Matty dating Jenna while Jenna leaves Jake a message telling him she loves him. OH SNAP x 2,000,000.

Here's what happened:

Aunty Ally's wedding day is here, and poor Jenna has to be the flower bitch. Tamara (wearing an adorbs zipper necklace, btw) gets roped in to being the wedding coordinator's assistant, and Val ends up being a bridesmaid after a lady goes into labor. Teen Dad isn't coming to the wedding (SOB), but Teen Mom quickly moves from disappointed to elated when she finds out that BEN is coming. WHO IS BEN? I had visions of Scott Speedman dancing in my head until GASP WTF HEINOUS, I MEAN, HENRY FROM RINGER WALKED IN. Wait, HEINOUS is Ben?!!! He doesn't even deserve the inherent hotness bequeathed to the name by Scott Speedman. I mean, I thought that when Ringer got cancelled, I'd never have to see this douchebag again.

THANKS FOR NOTHING, MTV.

So apparently, Heinous Ben was Teen Mom's first boyfriend, and it appears that he wants to make up for lost time and get back together with her. Dude, I'm sorry, but have you SEEN Teen Dad without his shirt on?

Anyway, it's clear that Jenna and Jake didn't have sex at the end of the last episode, as I thought, so Jenna thinks that tonight will be the night. Matty shows up to give Jake his suit to wear as Jenna's date, and per usual, Matty is super sweet. He's also... uh... super bloated? Seriously, dude. What happened to your face?

Matty is officially on Bloat Watch 2012.

Jenna realizes that they finally have closure (really?), and she calls Jake (who is at the wedding) to leave him a message telling him she's ready to head home and have the sex. But Jake is telling Sadie, a bridesmaid, to knock off the PDA with Ricky (because it's hurting Tamara's feelings), so of COURSE Sadie has to go and spill the beans about Matty and Jenna's relationship. This mediocre episode accelerates to KILLER LEVELS as Jenna finishes her message with "I love you" just as Jake turns to her with hurt and betrayal in his eyes.

OH SHIZZ. OH SHIZZ. OH. SHIZZ.

I cannot WAIT to see the next episode, but I'm also afraid of how much cringing I'm gonna have to do. Does Origins make an anti-cringe-wrinkle cream?

I still feel like Jenna and Matty will end up together. What about y'all?

And does anyone else feel like this season is kinda weak? Especially compared to last season?

Still, I am definitely staying tuned in so I can find out if Jenna chooses Matty or Jake (or neither). And also to make sure that Ming is still getting the sweet action she deserves from Fred Wu.

And is it weird that we never saw Aunt Ally's new husband? I kept hoping for an awesome cameo like Bill Murray (What? I dream big) and then... nothing.

Plus now I'm really sad that I didn't scream, "I'M MARRIED, BITCHES!" when I got married. Damn. Missed opportunity.

Next episode: "Time After Time"

Categories: Tubin' Tags: awkward tvmtvweddings
Posh Deluxe's photo About the Author: Sarah lives in Austin, TX, where she programs films at the Alamo Drafthouse. Sarah enjoys fancy cocktails, dance parties and anything that sparkles (except vampires).