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Revenge 2x4: Intuition

Erin is going to recap last night's Revenge using only the power of haikus and limericks.

Revenge 2x4: Intuition

Erin once adopted a puppy

She worried he might make her look the yuppy

But when he chewed up her clicker

Her TV could go neither slower nor quicker

She sort of wish she'd gone for the guppy


Oh! Gibson, my dog,

I wish you hadn't eaten

My TV Remote.


Sometimes Erin takes

Drugs, all prescribed, I assure

Thee, But still: crazy


Once Upon a Time

Is a show on ABC

It doesn't look good.


Oh, but the Grayson mansion is bloody

Yet Victoria ne'er allows it muddy

Maybe instead of lies

She should try some pies

Then I'd totes be her buddy


TRAC! and Aiden fight

On the beach, in broad daylight

Nobody cares. Poop.


There once was a lady named Ashley

Well, she's still alive, present tense please

Sometimes she wears shoulder pads

In order to attract the Grayson lad

I think she thinks she's on Dynasty


TRAC! and TRET!, Juvie

Roomies, But was sex ever

a thing? I wonder.


There once was a girl named Padma

Who thinks that Nolan is gaga for TRAC!, duh

She thinks they're doing the dirty

Which ruins her plan to be flirty

But really Nolan is going to marry me, I don't know why we are even talking about this, jeez


Padma, COO

Even tells Nolan about

His dead dad.  Whoops.  Oh!


Aiden, FBI?

TRAC!'s mom is not buying it

So he pulls a gun


The blood on the floor

It's totally Ashley's, right?

If it ain't, I'm mad


Oh, wait no, new plan

TRET! has a miscarriage, so

Very convenient.


Once a rich man named Conrad

Broke laws and did things that were bad

The writers think we care

But no, this storyline we cannot bear

Can't he die?  He makes me mad.


Hilarious: Fete

To toast a pregnant stripper

And her stripper friends

There once was a lady named Miz Clark

Not dull; she was fast like a shark

Aiden tried to trick her

But he totally couldn't lick her

She tased him, bro, like a nark.

Nolan's daddy died

But he loved him all along,

Also: The Craft Store


Vickie got TRET! a

check for one hundred large ones

Nice shower gift, yo.


TRET! falls from the stairs

Like Scarlett O'Hara, post

Rhett returning home.


Oh, that Declan thing

Is just about a rich guy;

Wants to buy the bar


There once was a storage room elsewhere

Basically a Nolan childhood lair

There Nolan made the moves

Padma responded to his groove

But this isn't starring me so what do I care


At the hospital

TRAC! tells doc to save the babe

That's kind of shitty.

(because I can't rewind or ff, I can't remember if TRAC!'s assurance to the doc that TRET! said she wanted the baby saved instead of her is correct, but it sounds like TRAC! just trying to get TRET! out of the way.)

TRET! in coma now

Little baby in NICU

I can't deal; too sad!


TRAC! sees Mizzus Clarke

At TRET!'s bedside, crying, and

Mom tried to drown her.


Okay, guys, your thoughts!!  Will TRET! survive?  Will she wake up with a convenient bout of amnesia?  WILL THE BABY BE OKAY??? Do you think Padma is going to suspect something of Nolan because of that framed David Clarke check she found?  IS SHE A SPY?  Why is that dude going through such lengths to get Jack to sell the Stowaway?  Like, I feel like you could just offer a good price.  Dude's po'.  Let us hear your theories in the comments!

Oh, one more thing:  Does anyone in the world care what's going on with Conrad?


Erin Callahan's photo About the Author: Erin is loud, foul-mouthed, an unrepentant lover of trashy movies and believes that champagne should be an every day drink. When she isn't drowning in a sea of engineers for whom Dilbert is still uproariously funny, she's writing about books, tv, the cult of VC Andrews and more.