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A Highly Scientific Analysis of THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS: CITY OF BONES Trailer

We're using science again, you guys!  Today we've got the adaptation of the first book in Cassandra Clare's The Mortal Instruments series under our microscope to determine whether or not Jamie Campell-Bower is hot enough to play Jace the movie will live up to our expectations.

A Highly Scientific Analysis of THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS: CITY OF BONES Trailer

So I have to admit, it's been so long since I read and reviewed City of Bones, that I forget what it's about!  Thankfully, I've got this trailer and science to help me remember!

Okay.  To begin, I just have to say that what I do remember about this book is that Jace Wayland is, as they say in France, smokin'.  And I know there was much debate about the casting of Jace, (no need to discuss the casting of Clary, because Lily Collins is perfect) but Jamie Campbell Bower is going to have to win me over.  Because I was initially promised...

Exhibit A:

Alex Pettyfer as Jace.  Is he an asshole?  Most probably.  Which is why I have had to gather more evidence.

Exhibit B:

I realize that it is very unfair of me to compare any other human to Pettyfer, but when you think of Jace Wayland, do you think facial structure carved out of granite, or too much side-forehead?

So yeah, let's see if Campbell Bower can convince me:  Let's do some science!

Oh, angels?  Is that what this is about?  If I'm to believe the foreshadowing of this image, it is.

Or possibly birds?  Are they descended from birds?  And mumified-looking creatures?

Oh yeah!  They draw things on themselves!  And magic happens!  Like, obviously, Clary just drew on herself to get a cup of coffe.  That would be a really convenient power to have.

I think I remember that Clary meets Jace in this club.  I would never be in a club like this because I'm too busy sitting on my sofa reading, but if I was, and I met a guy there, I would be sure to never ever see him again.

Let me just take a moment away from my judgement of Jamie Campbell-Bower to exclaim: "THAT is Simon?!!!"  Just... No.  Can you picture that getting down and dirty with a werewolf?  I didn't think so.

Oh right!  Clary sees Jace kill someone in the club, and naturally she wants to hang out.  I have less issues with the violence and more with the guyliner.

And then there's the part of every romance where the guy you just met in a club after he killed someone stalks you.  That's a fun part. 

Anyone else notice that he's always wearing a hood?  Could that be to hide the side forehead, hmmm?  Also, this is the part in the romance where you follow the guy you met in the club when he killed someone and then stalks you.

Hello!  Now we're talking!  I have no idea what that little girl is, but she looks scary, and that is awesome.

That cop needs some serious dental work.  Maybe he's come to ask them to draw a special symbol on their arms to fix his teeth?

Ah, I believe this is a portal!  I don't remember what happens with it, though.  Do they go through it?  Does someone else?  I'm distracted by Jamie Campbell Bower's swept back hair.

Hold. The. Phone.  Jonathan Rhys Meyers is in this?!!! Jonathan Rhys Meyers goes through the portal!  I'm SO in.  Wait, he plays the DAD?!!!!  

Some other stuff happens, and hello Alec!  I remember Alec being one of my favorite characters thorughout the series.  You may be mad about something now, Alec, but just you wait. 

Oh, and there's Isabelle!  Isabelle I LU!!!  I hope you don't get basically written out of this adaptation!  Where are they, anyway?  Some great hall?  Do all of these people want dental work?

Oh, and then Clary turns into a pop princess and climbs the charts with her new hit single, "I Draw The Sign".  THE END.

I must confess, I'm not sold.  On JCB or the movie in general.  I mean, I'll still probably see this in the theatres, because the fight scenes look fun, but I'll keep my expectations low.  What about you?  Are you excited for this movie, or could you care less?  Do you agree with science?  Let's conversate!

Jenny Bird's photo About the Author: Jenny grew up on a steady diet of Piers Anthony, Isaac Asimov and Star Wars novels. She has now expanded her tastes to include television, movies, and YA fiction.