I'd like to begin this post by acknowledging a disturbing trend that threatens our society at its very core:
Hollywood's standards for hotness have hit an all time low.
I mean, how else can you explain the casting of Peeta, Gale and Finnick? How else can you justify Ethan Peck's constant unemployment? Things have gotten BAD, people, and we, the scientists of FYA, are extremely concerned about the future of humanity's hotness. If someone doesn't step in and fight this epidemic, it could sweep through movie theaters across the country and devastate our nation's finest faces and abs.
And so it is with a sense of urgency that we examine our latest scientific query: Who should play
Tobias Four in the film adaptation of Divergent?
First, we must begin our study with some elemental truths. Based on the novel, we know the following:
1. Four is "handsome," muscular, and his face appears thus:
He has a spare upper lip and a full lower lip. His eyes are so deep-set that his eyelashes touch the skin under his eyebrows, and they are dark blue, a dreaming, sleeping, waiting color.
In other words, he is smokin' hot.
2. Four is a total badass.
3. Four possesses emotional depth.
Therefore, it stands to reason that the actor who plays Four must fit these qualities. Now, based on this article, it appears that four candidates are currently undergoing chemistry tests with Shailene Woodley, who, bee tee dubs, will be an AMAZING Tris. Let's examine these actors carefully and measure their ability to take on the formidable role of Four.
Luke may not be familiar to you, unless, of course, you enjoy watching AMAZING TELEVISION such as DANCE ACADEMY. That's right, he played Aaron, Christian's skater troublemaker friend! He was also in Monte Carlo with Selena Gomez and Leighton Meester, but whatever, HE WAS ON DANCE ACADEMY. And based on that role alone, we surmise that he can handle the cocky aspect of Four. But what of the rest?
Hotness Score: 6
Well, it's nothing to sneeze at, but he's going to have to buff up a bit more if he wants to be Dauntless, know what I'm saying? And is it just the lighting in this lab, or is he a bit too pretty in the face? Also, CUT YOUR HAIR.
Badass Score: 7
Ahhh, ok, THAT'S more like it. With the short hair and that intense gaze, our calculations indicate that Luke could handle the brooding anger of Four.
It's weird, I just heard a massively loud record scratch, but we're not playing any music in the lab. HUH. Anyway, our next subject, Brenton, is apparently the Next Big Thing in Australia, which means we haven't had much of a chance to analyze his work. Then again, one of his gigs was a Lifetime movie called Blue Lagoon: The Awakening, so maybe ignorance is bliss. But since we scientists believe in the search for truth, I guess we'll just have to roll up our sleeves and watch this trailer:
Damn, kids! I hope you figured out how to make condoms out of, like, leaves or shells or something!
Hotness Score: 6
Even though he reminds me of Justin Bieber, Brenton DOES have a very nice set of muscles, so as long as Four is shirtless all of the time, he might be able to make it work.
Badass Score: 2
Even with blood on his face, Brenton looks like he's in a boy band music video for a song called "Slay Me With Your Love" or "I Go Wild For You." I mean, can you picture this guy throwing knives and kicking the shizz out of someone?
No, you can't. In fact, let's just drop that score down to a 1.
Lucas is a cutie patootie you might recognize from X-Men: First Class, Battle Los Angeles (JK! NO ONE SAW THAT) or that Taylor Swift video.
Hotness Score: 7
Sure, he's no Tim Riggins, but Lucas is pretty fit! And, to use a technical term, this kid has a smile that could MELT BUTTAH.
Badass Score: 5
Once he combs back that ridic hair, he can almost look tough? Maybe? Then again, even in X-men with his crazy mutant power, Lucas was more of the sweet, quiet type.
I had to look this guy up, partially to find out who he is, and partially to make sure that he's not Scott Wolf's son. Based simply on internet images, Jack isn't much of a looker:
Fortunately, he has a SEXY IRISH ACCENT, and he appears to be a really good actor. Check out this trailer for What Richard Did:
Hotness Score: 6
This is the only shirtless picture I could find, and it doesn't shed much light on our search for his attractiveness. But his charisma might make up for some abs. (SOME abs. Not all.)
Badass Score: 8
I mean, just look at this guy. But don't look at him the wrong way, because HE WILL KICK THE SHIZZ OUT OF YOU.
Now, let us summarize our scientific findings:
Luke Bracey: 13
Brenton Thwaites: 7
Lucas Till: 12
Jack Reynor: 14
It appears that either Luke or Jack are the most qualified candidates. Jack may not be the hottest, but he is certainly the most badass, and just as important, HE CAN ACT.
But in spite of our careful research, we here at the FYA Center for Handsome Studies must admit that none of these actors seem like the perfect fit for Four. None of them scientifically measure up to our image of the stone cold fox warrior, illustrated by this mathematical diagram:
What say you, fellow scholars? We demand your well-educated opinions and actor hypotheses in the comments!
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