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Title: The Vampire Diaries S4.E07 “My Brother’s Keeper”
Released: 2012

Oh boy!  An episode about brothers!  It’s only fitting, really, since TVD is swimming in them.  Who is your favorite brother of all the brothers on this show?  By the by, as much as I’m STILL grieving for Alaric, it’s time The Handsome Club elects a new president.  George and I were thinking that all of the Handsome Clubs should merge back into one — you know, unity in a time of grieving their ultimate president — so there will be no more Evil Handsome Club, or Junior Division, just the one, the original Handsome Club.  So let’s to put it to a vote, so when we chat in the comments, tell me who you nominate!  Okay?  Okay!  Show!


Stefan is doing pushups in the woods!  In a tank top!  *Drink!*  If this is how he deals with a breakup, I gotta say he should be broken up with more often.  He’s doing pushups in the woods while on the phone with Caroline!  Who is not happy about the breakup.  Neither is Klaus!  About Stefan telling everybody about the race for the cure, that is.  George: Be careful who you might meet doing pushups in the Mystic Falls rest area, Stefan.  Klaus tells Stefan he’s got to find some more vampires for Jeremy to kill so he can get his map.

Stefan tells Damon that he and Elena broke up, and Damon offers for them to go do some stuff together, and also that they had better find a new slayer to protect Jeremy.  But Stefan needs some space.  Aw, Damon.  You tried.

At the Miss Mystic Falls Pageant, Caroline is organizing everything, and tries to talk Elena out of being broken up with Stefan.  Did we get that Caroline is not pleased about Elena’s feelings for Damon?  We did?  M’kay.  Then Professor Slim Shady shows up.  Surprise surprise!  He heard from GOB Bluth that pageant girls have really low self esteem, so he signed up to be a judge.  Caroline and Elena also notice that this is creepy.

Matt and Jeremy are loading kegs and talking about doing the old-timey dance at the pageant, but then Jeremy shows Matt his new slayer strength by lifting 2 kegs at once!  Holy arms, Batman!  George:  And Matt is WAY bummed out.

Stefan prowls around the hospital looking for a snack or something, George:  Uh-oh, blood binge!  Just don’t get a blood tire…  but then he finds this guy who is a murderer!  An unrepentant murderer!  So he gives him some blood and kills him!  (Oh shit! +1)  Aha.  A new vampire for Jeremy to kill.

Caroline is ALSO not pleased by the complete lack focus of her helpers in setting up for the pageant.  Klaus shows up and reminds her that they have a date.  Caroline is awesome, *Drink!* but agrees to let him escort her to the pageant.  Klaus is super cute.

Faye has a sexy new hybrid she’s teaching how to break the sire bond chained up in a barn, when Tyler shows up.  Faye wants to keep up the charade that they are an item by going with him to the pageant, but Tyler’s not so sure.  The sexy new hybrid is AWESOME *Drink!* by asking them to take it outside.

Jeremy helps Elena with a tricky necklace clasp, BY CHOKING HER WITH IT!!! (Oh Shit! +2)  George:  Who hasn’t done that to their sibling at one point or another? But it’s only a dream!  Jeremy is starting to get his slayer dreams on.  And has apparently taken up whittling.  In his sleep.  Matt reads the slayer’s manual aloud to Jeremy, as they get dressed for the Miss Mystic Falls thing.  Squee!  Brush each other’s hair, you guys!

Elena and Caroline are giving April advice about what dress to wear, and Elena does the thing where she has one opinion, but changes it when Damon comes in and has a different one.  “Oh, I LOVE watching televised sports…”  Caroline is disgusted.

Elena descends the grand staircase toward an awaiting Damon — just like last year’s Miss Mystic Falls! — and much awkward eye contact ensues.  Elena tells him that he’s the reason she and Stefan broke up, and Damon has some moments of super sweet face.  Awww.  But then Professor Slim Shady interrupts.  Now a slave to duty, Damon decides to weasel some information out of Professor Slim Shady, but PSS tells Damon he won’t become teacher’s pet with baiting, so Damon asks him how he convinced April’s dad to kill himself and all of his people.  PSS is impressed by Damon’s candor, but makes a terrible joke about mass-murder at a high school function. 

Jeremy meets Stefan in the dungeon in the woods, and sees the almost vampire chained up!  Stefan REALLY wants to cure Elena.  So the almost-vampire snacks on some of Jeremy’s blood to complete the transition, and then Jeremy stakes him!  Even though he didn’t want to!  And then he stakes him again!  And again!  Until Stefan tells him enough is enough.

Caroline is in full Martha Stewart mode with the pageant, when Klaus walks up IN A SUIT!!  Wow, I’m thinking that maybe we should start drinking for these guys being in suits as well as when they’re shirtless, because wowza!  Even Caroline has to admit he looks perfect.  Just then Tyler and Faye show up, and Faye does a funny little acceptance speech, pretending to have won the pageant.  Tyler teases her about pageant girls, having nails, to which she makes a werewolf joke.  But most importantly in this scene is the background orchestra, which I do believe is doing a rendition of Duran Duran’s “Ordinary World”.  Matt tells Elena about Jeremy’s slayer dreams just in time for them to realize that Jeremy isn’t there to escort April! (Oh shit! +3)  Does this ALWAYS happen at the Miss Mystic Falls Pageant?  Matt saves the day JUST like Damon did last year, and we all know how that’s turned out, so good luck, you two.  Oh Matt.  You really are a knight in shining armor!  I just wanted to take the time to tell you how much I love you and hope you don’t get killed.  Also meanwhile, Elena and Damon share a lot of meaningful eye contact and so much chemistry, I wonder if they won’t just jump each other’s bones and THEN talk.

Damon tells Elena not to worry, he’s got things covered, and then goes to look for Jeremy. Caroline can’t take it anymore, and tells Elena exactly how she feels about Elena and Damon together, but Elena does NOT take kindly to her words.  Klaus steps in and saves the pageant by getting Caroline to calm down, and is then awesome, offering to tell her all about being “the bad guy”. *Drink!*

Damon and Stefan argue a little bit on the phone while Jeremy admires his new reverse sleeve tattoos.  But when Stefan tries to make Jeremy show him how much new ink he’s gotten, Jeremy stakes him in the gut!  (Oh shit! +4)  Guess he’s still a little pissed about all that compelling you guys did on him, Stefan.

Caroline is venting to Klaus about Elena changing since she’s become a vampire.  But being a vampire only enhances who you really are, right?  Klaus knows something, but he’s holding out.  Also, now the orchestra is playing the theme from that movie “Once”.  I like this orchestra.  Caroline asks Klaus if he’d take the cure, but he says no way.  Then he just whips out Caroline’s old application for last year’s Miss Mystic Falls Pageant, and proceeds to be ADORABLE as he teases her!! OH MY GOD!!! They are so cute together!!  I want to give them puppies and ponies!  For drawings!  (Not eating.)  And I know, Caroline would be cute with anyone she was with.  I was thinking earlier in the show how cute she’d be with Stefan, but her + Klaus?!!!  Slays me.  (Get it?)  Oh, and Tyler is watching.  Which sucks for him, for sure. 

Jeremy is suiting up in Alaric’s old vampire slaying gear (or is it Buster’s?  I’m going with Alaric, because of the wrist thingys.) and then he finishes SUITING UP, and MAN!  Jeremy.  In a suit.  Ahem.  And he’s stalking around the pageant!  And he glares at Elena from a distance, while telling April what a hero her dad was!  I guess a new tattoo wasn’t ALL Jeremy got from killing that vampire.

Damon corners Professor Slim Shady to find a new vampire slayer, but PSS tells him it’s a no go.  Finding one potential in a lifetime is, apparently, a big deal.  Oh, silly PSS.  This is Mystic Falls.  We got slayers up the wazoo.

The new Miss Mystic Falls is crowned, and it looks like the judges went with the sympathy vote (you know, on account of her dad dying) and April wins!  But as she’s getting crowned, Elena sees Jeremy stalking around, and follows him inside.  And he has a stake! (Oh shit! +5)  He tells her how much he wants to kill her a little bit, but she loves him!  And she’d never hurt him!  Except for the fact that his hand is bleeding and her eyes go all veiny.  She goes to leave, but Jeremy attacks! (Oh shit! +6) She shoves him and knocks him out! (Oh shit! +7)  But he’s only faking!  And he stabs her in the neck!  (Oh shit! +8)  And then Matt comes in and tells him to stop!  (Oh shit! +9)  Don’t die, Matt!  But Stefan saves the day (whew!) and shares a tender moment with Elena.

Tyler and Faye chat and joke about the first time they turned and stuff, and I actually think they are so cute together, and I’m not just saying that because I want Caroline and Klaus to happen.  Speaking of, Klaus tells Caroline a beautiful story about a humming bird and relates it to being human.  George:  He’s going for broke.  That’s a deal-closing speech right there.  Tyler overhears and, I must admit, is awesome *Drink!* when he says it’s B.S.

Stefan tells Elena what he made Jeremy do, and Elena makes a really good point about it not being okay to strip Jeremy of his humanity just to save hers.  Then she tells him that the old Elena is gone, and he needs to accept that.  Damon walks up, and after some intense eye contact, *Drink!* Stefan bows out and walks away.

Matt walks in on Jeremy packing his bags, and tells him surprise!  It’s gonna be Dude Central at the Gilbert house, because Elena moved out, so Matt could move in an hang out with Jeremy.  Oh, April is going to love that.  But where did Elena go?  Why to the Salvatore’s house, of course!  Which makes Stefan move out!  Now, where’s he going to go?

New sexy hybrid is really, really tired, but Tyler says she broke the sire bond!  He texts Faye, and we see that she is IN CAHOOTS with Professor Slim Shady!! (Oh shit! +10)  NOOOOO!!! She wants to leave Tyler out of it when “it all goes down”, but STILL!  IN. CAHOOTS.  I’m so disappointed.

Elena is having a sad *Drink!* about how everyone kind of hates her as a vampire, but Damon tells her he thinks she’s awesome.  Then, reminded of their dance at last year’s Miss Mystic Falls Pageant, they dance in front of the fireplace!  Awww.  This is nice.  Although, I would be a terrible vampire mother, because I can’t help but think, “Not so close to the fire!”

Caroline and Stefan are bonding over drinks, but Caroline is convinced that there’s something wrong with Elena, and that’s the only reason she likes Damon.  And then they talk about the hybrids and sire bonds and then Caroline has an epiphany!  Right as Damon and Elena kiss!!! *Drink!* (Oh shit! +11)  Caroline can’t believe it!  Whatever it is!  And Damon and Elena are STILL kissing!!!  And slamming into walls making out!  But Caroline and Stefan are figuring out that Elena is sire bonded to Damon!  NOOOOO.  (Oh shit! +12)  George: Is that supposed to make us feel gross about Damon and Elena getting together?  And now Elena and Damon are IN BED HAVING SEXY TIMES!!! *Drink!* (Oh shit! +13)  Wait.  THIS IS TERRIBLE!!!  And also kind of awesome!!  And also kind of a cop out!!!  And also, Shirtless Salvatore!  *Drink!*


Your turn!  What do YOU think about this new development?  And don’t forget to vote for who you think should be the new Handsome Club President!

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Jenny grew up on a steady diet of Piers Anthony, Isaac Asimov and Star Wars novels. She has now expanded her tastes to include television, movies, and YA fiction.