To quote Sloth, HEEEEEY YOU GUUUUUYS. It's Monday, which is normally a major inconvenience, but it's also the holiday season, which means I am constantly hopped up on Christmas music and spiced wine. Even the beginning of the work week cannot rob me of my holly and jolly. I WILL jingle, and I will do so ALL THE WAY.
But even when I'm in a good mood, I still get a kick out of being judgmental, so let's boost our communal spirit with this made-up summary of Pods, based solely on the cover art.
Stephanie always tried to keep her mother a secret. When her friends wanted to come over after school, she suggested the mall food court or the local coffeeshop. When the annual parent teacher conference came around, Stephanie always made sure her mom was "unfortunately ill." She never wanted people to find out the truth-- that her mother was a hoarder. Ever since she could remember, her house was crammed with piles of antiques and towers of National Geographic, and then there were the five storage units, packed to the brim with Ebay "steals" and QVC deals. Stephanie was always ashamed of her mother's habits... that is, until the world ended. Now millions of people are dead, financial markets have crashed, and society has descended into chaos. In a world where nothing is certain, people cling to the past, which has become the most valuable commodity. Desperate to survive, Stephanie takes refuge in her mother's storage units, only to discover a Beanie Baby collection so vast that it instantly makes her one of the most powerful people of the end times. But can she protect her treasure from the clutches of the evil HS Network, not to mention the roving gangs of Soccer Moms? And can she really trust Demetri, the mysterious boy in the pod next door, who claims to have a limited edition set of Star Trek plates? Surrounded by danger and despair, Stephanie must stand up and fight to protect her family's bric-a-brac before the forces of darkness declare a garage sale... on her life.