Ho, ho, ho! I'd like to say this post is late because I was working on something amazing and mindblowing, but let's be honest. It's really because I've driven 12 hours in the last 48, with a nasty cold, have a huge deadline on Tuesday that's nowhere near completion, and about a zillion other things to do, as per yoozh this time of year. Much like all of you! And so in the spirit of tiny moments of procrastination, which is all I can afford at the mo, I wanted to bring you a mini-movie marathon of holiday and holiday-ish scenes to enjoy, but the internet is failing me and I can't find most of the ones I wanted (no Auntie Mame, no Long Gray Line, no You've Got Mail, no Mark Darcy kissing Bridget Jones like a nice guy in the snow -- I was left with only Aunt March's tone-deaf attempt to sing "Deck the Halls" to Beth's insipid piano playing). So instead, here are some cocktail recipes for those of you who think eggnog is gross, and a small holiday party drinking game! The benefit to this post being late is it's definitely after the cocktail hour has begun (although, pssh, haven't people heard of BRUNCH? C'mon. Cocktail hour, puh-leez).
Bonus: This one's not poisonous! Also, just PRETEND it's not really just a cosmo, mmkay?
If I weren't knocked up, I'd totally have done a LadyNerd post on how to make this. Next year, kiddies!
1 bottle red wine
1 cup cognac
3/4 cup sugar
2 cinnamon sticks
3 whole cloves
1 tsp grated nutmeg
1 vanilla bean
1 star anise
1 sliced orange
1 sliced lemon
Combine the ingredients in a sauce pan and simmer for 25 minutes. Let it sit overnight if possible (in the refrigerator is fine). Strain out the fruits and other non-drinkable ingredients and serve it warm in glass mugs.
If you want to get fancy. If you really like it, you can also serve it on Harvard game days. Unless you went to Yale.
1.5 oz (BELVEDERE)RED vodka
½ oz St Germain Elderflower liqueur
3 bar spoons of pomegranate seeds
4 chunks pink grapefruit
Muddle pomegranate seeds and grapefruit with the elderflower liqueur. Add Belvedere and top with crushed ice. Churn.
A mocktail for the underage/knocked-up/teetotalling or otherwise abstemious folks. Also, I dare you not to have that John Mellencamp song in your head now.
1 cup grenadine
1 liter clear citrus soda, or seltzer
18 maraschino cherries
Place 2 cups water in a medium saucepan, and bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Add grenadine; stir to combine. Pour mixture into two ice-cube trays. Freeze until solid, 2 hours or overnight.
Fill six glasses with grenadine ice cubes. Top with soda. Garnish with cherries, and serve.
When an elderly relative or young child says something inappropriate
For every item of holiday apparel you spot
For not-office-appropriate displays of affection (likely to be regretted later)
Whenever someone invades your personal space
Whenever you're introduced to somebody as a romantic/employment/new friend setup by a well-meaning relative/coworker
Finish your drink:
When asked an uncomfortably prying question about your private life (single status, childless status, employment status, or otherwise)
If YOU get caught in an inappropriate display of affection
If you catch your parent(s) in an inappropriate display of affection
For the duration of the song "Silver Bells" (or whatever tops your list of most hated songs)
Feel free to suggest additional rules!