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Downton Abbey 3x3: Vulgarity Is No Substitute For Wit

Megan reviews Downton Abbey 3x3, an episode where things finally happen!

Downton Abbey 3x3: Vulgarity Is No Substitute For Wit

Welcome back to Downton Abbey!  This week we only have a regular sized episode to discuss, but nevermind that because a lot actually happens!  We were able to definitively answer 3 out of 7 of last week’s burning questions.  So, journey onward! 

What Happened Upstairs

It’s wedding time again at Downton and the servents are in full force.  Edith is as happy as a middle child can be, basking in the attention and excitement of her upcoming nuptials to Sir Anthony.  Lord Grantham is moving forward with plans to sell off Downton and Mary is still (justifiably) pissed at Cousin Matthew for planning to give away the fortune he is inheriting from the late Mr. Swire.  Cousin Isobel is still diligently volunteering at her sewing house of reformed prostitutes, where she again sees Ethel the former maid (she of the illegitimate baby).

The Crawleys decide to go on a picnic to another home they have owned all this time.  They keep talking about how small and “economical” it is even though it is enormous and beautiful and I kind of hate them all right now.

The Crawley Family Poor House

Matthew receives a letter from the late Mr. Swire but doesn’t want to open it.  Mary goes behind his back and reads the letter.  Apparently Mr. Swire knew about Lavinia calling off the wedding but decided to make Matthew his heir anyway.  Except Matthew thinks the letter is a fake, because he’s seriously insufferable.  Matthew, your self-pity is boring and unattractive!  But Mary is about to find out that Daisy posted a letter from the dying Lavinia, so it is legit.  Now Matthew doesn’t have to feel guilty and can give his inheritance to the family.  Lord Grantham decides he and Matthew are to be joint owners of Downton.

Oh yeah, and Sir Anthony leaves Edith at the altar.

What Happened Downstairs

Dr. Clarkson still doesn’t have an answer concerning Mrs. Hughes' cancer scare.  Mr. Carson realizes something in amiss with Mrs. Hughes and between tricking both Dr. Clarkson and Mrs. Padmore, is able to suss out the situation.  Thomas continues his scheming against Mrs. O’Brien by using poor Mr. Mosley as his pawn.  He basically creates a backward way of informing the Granthams that Mrs. O’Brien is leaving for new employment (which obviously isn't true).  Mrs. O’Brien is forced to do damage control with Lady Grantham and vows revenge on Thomas.  It is now on like Donkey Kong between the two schemiest schemers of Downton Abbey.  Anna goes to meet with the ex-Mrs. Bates one and only friend, but comes up short on any helpful information.  Bates' cellmate tries to frame him with some sort of contraband, but the crisis is averted.  And at the end of the episode, we find out Mrs. Hughes lump is benign.  Hurray!

Upstairs Winner: Lady Mary

Basically Lady Mary got everything she wanted in this episode.  She was able to convince Matthew to use his inheritance to save Downton while managing to do it in a way that won’t leave Matthew bitter and angry about it for the rest of their lives.

Upstairs Loser: Lady Edith

Did y’all think I wasn’t going to talk about this?  POOR EDITH GOT LEFT AT THE ALTAR.  By old Sir Anthony, who I thought was so nice!  Edith, you weren’t the only one who was tricked on the matter of Sir Anthony’s character!  Sir Anthony decided he couldn’t marry Edith, because he was too old, etc.  So he waited until the WORST POSSIBLE, MOST SOUL-CRUSHING TIME to tell her.  I’m really feeling for Edith after this one. She’s not my favorite, but girl really can’t catch a break.

Downstairs Winner: Mrs. Hughes

Not only does Mrs. Hughes find out she doesn’t have cancer (YAY!) but she found out how much the Crawley family cares about her.

Downstairs Loser: Mrs. O’Brien

Thomas may have gotten the better of her this round, but I guarantee he will regret it.

Best Maggie Smith Line

My favorite is a toss up between “Sybil, vulgarity is no substitute for wit” and (on Sir Anthony looking nervous at the altar) “He’s done it before, so he must be in possession of all the facts.”

Best Outfit

Edith’s wedding gown was nice (I especially loved the hair piece) but I think I will have to go with Mary’s picnic dress.  Especially because Edith’s wedding dress is stained with the tears of betrayal and humiliation.  It was a tough pick because none of the outfits were wowing me this week.

Burning Questions

1. Is Anna ever going to find some information that will lead to Bates' release?

2. Is Bates going to pull an Uncle Iroh and get secretly jacked while in prison?

3. How long are they going to draw out this song and dance between Cousin Isobel and the disgraced former maid Ethel, even though it’s completely obvious what she wants?  I mean, will we ever find out what is going on with Ethel?

4. On a scale from One to Miss Havisham, just how crazy is Edith going to get?

5. Is Sybil ever going to be interesting again?  Same goes for any and all of the other ignored characters this season.

6. Just how epic will be Mrs. O’Brien’s revenge against Thomas be?  After the soap bar miscarriage, I’m honestly a little scared of what she’s capable of.

Now let us know what your thoughts were on the episode!  Any answers to my burning questions above.  And for those of you who have already watched through the season, please try and keep the comments spoiler free.

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Megan Crane's photo About the Author: Megan is an unabashed fangirl who is often in a state of panic about her inability to watch, read and play all the things.