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Downton Abbey 3x6: People Like Us Are Never Unhappily Married

In this week's episode, the Dowager Countess teaches us a vital life lesson: even in times of tragedy, always stay for dessert.

Downton Abbey 3x6: People Like Us Are Never Unhappily Married

The sixth episode of the third season was a little on the boring side, and I AM TOTALLY OK WITH THAT. Because my poor heart can't take much more after all of the shizz that went down last week. But even though Sybil's storyline is over, there's plenty of other plot developments moving along at a juicy clip, so let's discuss!

What Happened Upstairs:

Sybil's funeral is over, but Cora is still super pissed at Lord Grantham. Every time he tries to talk to her, she shuts him down HARD. To make matters (for Robert) worse, Tom wants to name the baby Sybil AND baptize her as a Catholic. THE HORROR! Mr. Travis comes over for dinner to persuade Tom away from his "pagan" religion, but everyone (minus Robert) stands up for Tom. In other news, Mr. Travis is in desperate need of a facepunch. Matthew is still trying to convince Lord Grantham that Downton needs better management, and it looks like he might have found someone to take over the old farm. Tom, please tell me that you and your handsome face will be staying! Alone in their bedroom, Mary and Matthew share a poignant moment of appreciating each other. "We must never take 'us' for granted. Who knows what's coming." Um, Matthew, I can tell you who knows... the internet! Lord Grantham continues to dig the Deepest Hole Ever and flies into a frenzy when he hears that Cousin Isobel's luncheon for the Crawley ladies was made by a prostitute, aka Ethel. He demands that the women leave, but of course, none of them do because THEY'RE NOT ASSHOLES. In an attempt to reunite Cora and Lord Grantham, the Dowager Countess asks Dr. Clarkson to do some research on Sybil's likelihood of surviving the Caesarean. He insists that he won't lie, but at the end of the episode, he gravely informs Lord Grantham and a tearful Cora that Sybil probably would've died anyway. See, Doctor Clarkson? The view from below your high horse isn't so bad.

What Happened Downstairs:

Ugh, is anyone else sick of the Alfred/Ivy/James/Daisy triangle, er, square? As Mrs. Padmore says, "You know the trouble with your lot-- you're all in love with the wrong people." PREACH! Ivy is still making eyes at James, while Daisy is still mooning over Alfred. But when she goes to visit Mr. Mason and complains that Alfred doesn't like her back, he says what any good girlfriend would say, "He's seen a diamond, and he's chosen glass." MR. MASON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. Even more importantly, Mr. Mason asks Daisy to consider taking over his farm, because he is a sweet, wizened angel from heaven. Speaking of good people, Mrs. Padmore agrees to help Ethel prepare food for Isobel's Crawley Lady Luncheon, even though Carson has forbidden anyone from interacting with such a disreputable woman. When Ethel asked, "Why should Mrs. Crawley be punished for showing me kindness?" she pretty much nailed it, but Carson insisted on being a dick, even to Mrs. Hughes! WTF CARSON. (I also loved it when Mrs. Hughes basically told him that woman should be allowed to work as bankers and lawyers. Well done, sister suffragette!) Thomas is still sad about Sybil, and he's also still touching James in a very bad after-school special way. O'Brien furthers her plot to take down Thomas by telling him that James has a crush on him. Damn, O'Brien! That's some Regina George shizz right there. Next thing you know, she'll be setting up a three-way call with Thomas and Lord Grantham. And finally, BATES MIGHT BE FREE. I repeat, BATES MIGHT BE FREE. It wasn't looking good, because Mr. Murray interviewed Mrs. Bitchface, I mean, Barlett, and she totally took back the story she told Anna. Bates was convinced that the prison guard had been to talk to her, so he threatened his prison roomie about it, and I guess that worked, because suddenly Mrs. Barlett went back to her original testimony, and now BATES MIGHT BE FREE!

Upstairs Winner: The Dowager Countess

I mean, the woman is always badass, but in this episode, Violet worked some SERIOUS magic. I had my doubts that Cora would ever forgive Lord Grantham, but per usual, the Dowager knew just want to do to keep things proper. Because "people like us are never unhappily married."

I also gotta give pants to Mary for telling Robert what we've all been dying to say. "STOP BEING SUCH A POMPOUS DICK." Ok, well, that's not actually what she said. It was more like, "You're mad because the world isn't going your way." Amen, Mary!

Upstairs Loser: Lord Grantham

What a shock, said NO ONE EVER. I have the feeling that Robert's going to be the winner of this award for quite a few consecutive weeks, because he will NOT let go of his elitist, ignorant ways. You'd think that the death of his youngest daughter and subsequent shunning by his wife would've, I dunno, shaken some sense into him but NO.

Downstairs Winner: Daisy

I know I should probably give this to Bates, but I'm still too nervous that things might change, so I'll save the award (and a champ can) for when he actually arrives back in Downton. For now, the big winner is Daisy, because she's like, a farm heiress! Screw Alfred, girl, you could be a LAND OWNER! And land is way less fickle then boys. (Well, unless there's a drought. And even then, the land won't cheat on you.) Also, is it just me, or is there a hint of James starting to crush on her? Wouldn't THAT be interesting?!

Downstairs Loser: Carson

Carson, I love you, but you need to SIMMER DOWN. And if I need to sit you down and make you watch the episode where you admit that you were a circus performer, I WILL DO IT.

Best Maggie Smith Line:  

As usual, I had a tough time picking just one of the Dowager Countess' verbal gems. I loved "Lie is so unmusical a word," but I think I'll actually use this one in my every day life: "It seems a pity to miss such a good pudding."

Best Outfit:

Well, they're all in mourning, so I only had black, black or black to choose from. I'll go with Mary's black dress, because the neckline featured some lovely beading. Plus she got to wear elegant black gloves.

Burning Questions:

- Given that scene at the end, will Tom end up letting Mary and Matthew adopt Sybil? Or will he stay and take the farm?

- Is Bates really free? Or will his prison roomie and his guard crony come back to haunt him?

- Does James actually like Daisy?

- Will Dasiy take Mr. Mason up on his offer?

- Will Edith's newspaper column turn out to be a great or terrible idea?

- Will Mr. Mason adopt ME?!!

Got any burning questions or rants to add in the comments? LET US CONVO.

Posh Deluxe's photo About the Author: Sarah lives in Austin, TX, where she programs films at the Alamo Drafthouse. Sarah enjoys fancy cocktails, dance parties and anything that sparkles (except vampires).