Alrighty, the race for the cure really seems to be heating up on TVD. Now that they've got the map, our heroes are journeying... somewhere. Except for Klaus. He's stuck in the Gilbert's living room.
Flashback! *Drink!* PSS is running through the woods, being chased by a white guy with dreads! George: That's my reaction to a white guy with dreads, too, PSS. He finds a cave, and in it some bad graffiti and a well! In the present, they've arrived on the shores of what looks like a New England beach. Oh hey! It's off Nova Scotia!
After some antagonizing from Rebekah, Elena asks Damon if he'd take the cure once the race was over, but he doesn't want to count his chickens.
Bonnie is taking pictures of Jeremy's naked torso, and wishes there was a less creepy way to find the map. So then she starts feeling him up. Because that's less awkward.
Tyler shows up at the Gilbert's to taunt Klaus about how he's going to kill him once they have the cure, and Klaus is goaded into taunting him back about how he drowned Tyler's mom.
Rebekah continues talking about how pointless Elena's presence on their hike for the cure is, but is awesome *Drink!* when she compliments Damon's behind. PSS regales the group with tales about a magical well and how that one time he sliced his hand open to try to bring back his dead wife and child, but all he got was an annoying whisper.
Then there are booby traps in the woods, so he tells them to stay together. Of course, this means that Jeremy and Elena immediately separate from the group to talk about water, which opens them up for attack from some native or something. But then an axe flies out of nowhere and slays the native, so it's all good. Next up, they come upon a Cabin in the Woods, where -- no surprise -- a bunch of college kids died.
Elena tries to talk Damon into being excited about the cure, because, I guess, she's into it now? I mean, I get her desire for Jeremy to not want to kill her all the time, but I thought she LIKED being a vampire. Anyhoo, she swears it won't change the way she feels about him, yadda, yadda, yaddd, and they kiss. *Drink!* Oh, props to Damon for mentioning unicorns and rainbows, although that is, traditionally, Klaus and Caroline's thing.
Speaking of, Caroline stops by to visit Tyler, who says he's going to stay right where he is and gloat until kingdom come -- or until he can kill Klaus, whichevs. Ever motivated, Caroline decides to do some housework, starting with cleaning up the charred remains of Kol. Klaus gives us a peek at his man tear before telling them that -- as far as family members dead -- they are even. Caroline disagrees, and reminds us, that though he may have perfected the man tear, Klaus also killed Aunt Jenna. So he grabs a lamp and stakes her, and then eats her a little! Caroline collapses to the floor! And Klaus is awesome *Drink!* with his reference to caloric intake! But it's still awful! Because Caroline!
Rebekah and Stefan have a nice friendly/flirty conversation about how being a vampire is miserable, and Stefan tells her that if he takes the cure, it wouldn't be for Elena, but for him.
Bonnie can't find a spell in Jeremy's tattoos, so she asks PSS for guidance. He tells her via flashback! *Drink!* that, oh, B-T-Dubs, his wife was a witch, and tried to use Expression to raise their son from the dead, but it killed her. No big. Meanwhile, the alarming soundtrack wakes Jeremy up just in time for him to be face to face with the dreadlocked white guy.
Caroline is freaking out because Klaus's bite will kill her, but Tyler tells her he'll fix things. Klaus wants Tyler to beg, and he does -- he even tells Klaus that he'll be his slave again, but Klaus wants to make him work for it. Caroline has other plans, though. She wants to leave. She can't even look at Klaus, and I have to wonder, what is wrong with me?!!! Because I get it, she totally has a right to feel that way, but I just want them to get together!!!!
At the Cabin in the Woods, everyone discovers that Jeremy is missing, so while the others search, Bonnie tries a locator spell, and PSS tries to make a call. Damon stops him, and then, flashback! *Drink!* When PSS fell into the well, his dead wife told him all about Silas and the cure and how to do all the things.
Bonnie succeeds in starting a forrest fire and a wind storm, but so far, no Jeremy. Meanwhile, Rebekah and Elena are bickering more than searching, and driving Stefan bananas in the interim. Then Rebekah saves Elena's life from a giant rake, so maybe now they'll be BFFs. Or not.
Damon asks PSS about the dozens of humans and hybrids that were killed, but flashback! *Drink!* PSS's wife was pretty persuasive, and convinced him that Silas will bring them all back. But wait, there's supposed to be three ritual sacrifices, and there's only been two! Has PSS led them all out into the woods to slaughter them? Who knows!
Caroline is getting worse, and she and Tyler are apologizing to each other and telling each other how awesome they both are and generally being sappy, but then Tyler delivers her to Klaus, because Klaus would never let Caroline die, right? Klaus tells her it won't be long…
Damon has PSS tied up and is beating him with a stick, but PSS is only telling him all about how he can't kill him because of Bonnie, and he should just leave now, with his dignity, but there's one thing PSS doesn't know: Damon doesn't like Bonnie very much. So, Elena comes in just in time to prevent Damon from ripping off PSS's head. Elena is kind of PO'd at Damon, so he tells her he doesn't want her to take the cure, because, best case scenario, she grows old and dies. Elena tells him that's just a hurdle, which makes me go "huh?", but then she asks him to take the cure with her. Damon thinks about it for a minute, but tells her that he likes being a vampire. Kind of a lot.
Stefan and Rebekah flirt a little more in the woods before heading back to the camp, to find that everybody's gone except for Elena.
Caroline psychoanalyzes Klaus while she's dying, and tells him that she's seen the good in him, and that anyone capable of love can be redeemed. Man tears are a-welling, but it looks like Klaus is going to let her die! But no. He doesn't.
Rebekah is afraid that this whole thing has been a hoax, and that everybody's always trying to keep a poor Original down, so Elena gives her a present -- the old white oak stake -- to cheer her up.
PSS meets up with the white guy with dreads, who has Jeremy, and Bonnie shows up, too! Dreadlocked dude has been working for PSS all along! George: I'm so disappointed, PSS.
Damon is shot by an arrow while he storms through the woods, and then a guy jumps out of the woods and attacks him! And it's another slayer! Damon pauses to point this out, and the slayer breaks his neck!
Alright, WHAT is PSS up to? This episode ALMOST had me believing he was a good sort of guy. Almost. Is the cure even real? And who is going to take it? And most importantly, will Caroline EVER give Klaus a chance?!!