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Swimfantage: Lizzie Bennet Diaries

A scientific examination of a Beauty & the Beast/LBD fan video, because we're all in withdrawal.

Swimfantage: Lizzie Bennet Diaries

Y'all, I don't know how your week has gone, but mine has been rough. I mean, school and life stuff is fine, and I've gotten over the fact that I can't eat anything delicious cheese between now and Easter. But Lizzie Bennet Diaries! We went from several weeks of having drama-filled episodes almost every day, PLUS exciting twitter action, to having 10 measly minutes of content this week? What am I supposed to do with myself? How am I supposed to procrastinate?! And no, a new tumblr post of Jane's latest outfit is NOT going to placate me. Homegirl is UNEMPLOYED. She should at least be pinning more sad things on Pinterest.

God help us all when this series ends.

In my hour of need, I've been forced to consume as much fan-generated content as possible. There's the oft-hilarious fake twitter accounts, such as Anne Elliot, Pemberley Digital Programmer and Sad-Sack Cat Lady:

 

Or my personal favorite, Hipster Darcy:

 

Plus, Lizzie actress Ashley Clements has been trolling us all lately:

 

She also likes Instagram. A lot:

Oh hi, George Takei! What are you doing in this post?

I am also pretty dependent on the obsessive scrutinizing and speculation that happens over at LeakyNews after each video. Head over there to see the latest theories.

But when all these fonts inevitably run dry, where is a swimfan to turn?

YouTube, of course. Let's analyze this shizz.

Quality: High

Man, whoever made this video has some editing SKILLZ. My first time through, I was kind of distracted by the mouths not matching up with the singing. But here on my sixth viewing, I have clearly gotten over that and am just impressed. I can't even imagine how many hours this took to assemble. Shit is precise!

Expertise Level: Dungeon Master

Wow. I mean, I thought that I was bad, what with my hours of crazed twitter stalking of fictional characters. But the making of this video requires a level of obsessive nerdiness that is completely beyond me. The attention to detail and continuity is immaculate. I can't even remember where half these clips came from. Just the THOUGHT of sifting through upwards of 8 hours of YouTube footage to find each perfectly coordinated expression for the lyrics makes me tired. Full marks.

Song Selection: Glorious

The song choice is what elevates this swimfantage from mere mediocrity to sheer genius. Beauty and the Beast/LBD mashup? INSPIRED. Casting Gigi and Fitz as Mrs. Potts and Lumière makes perfect sense, as they are Captain and First Mate of the S.S. Darcy & Lizzie, respectively. At this point, I'm pretty sure Gigi has convinced herself that if Darcy and Lizzie don't get together, she will actually spend the rest of her life as a teapot. 

Furthermore, Wickham as Gaston is perfect. I only wish that there was footage of Wickham with Ricky Collins, so that he could be cast as Lefou. LBD writers, why did you not anticipate the making of this video when you were adapting your source material? Don't you know that you should be pandering to my every whim?

Sadly, the song selection also means it's only a matter of time before this video gets pulled, because Disney hates joy.

Swimfan Satisfaction (scale of 1-10): 9

Obviously I love this video. I only docked a point because the creator did not contrive a reason to include more shots of Bing's swoony arms. I mean, really:

Bing is THE VERY WORST*, but that doesn't mean I don't want tickets to the gun show. 

**

*Seriously though, how are they going to redeem that guy and make him worthy of Jane's AWESOME?
**Also WHAT is this picture? It is PURE INSANITY. Not that I'm complaining, but WHAT?!

 

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Alix West's photo About the Author: Alix is a writer and illustrator who spends way too much time reading Jane Austen retellings of varying quality.
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