It’s day four in FYA’s Teen Movie March Madness and this is the final day of first round bloodmatches. The last three days have been full of painful choices for us teen movie fanatics and today should prove no different. Seriously, you would not believe how divided the House of FYA has been during this process. For every movie one of us hates with a fiery passion, another one of us would lay down and die for our love of it. There is some serious brother versus brother shit going down in our email chains.
Today, the Kirsten Dunst Division has some fan favorites and a good selection of underdogs. But only one movie can win the Kiki Division and my heart belongs to young Joseph Gordon-Levitt. To get a full view of the Kiki Division, take a look at the pdf below and grab your own copy here.
Are you good? Ready? Yes? Then let’s get ready to ruuuuuummmbbble!
First up, we have First Seed Juggernaut 10 Things I Hate About You versus the overwhelming winner of our wildcard play-in round, Dazed and Confused. But to me, this round is just 10 Things versus...something that isn’t 10 Things. I’ve been pretty vocal about my unabashed and undying love for 10 Things. Don't do me wrong, internet. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.
Dreamboat Zac Efron versus everyone’s wannabee BFF Drew Barrymore. I’m going to buck my generational loyalties and throw my lot in for Zac. Sorry to all of you who want to go back to high school so you can do it right this time, but 17 Again is a personal fav of mine.
Here we have The Goonies, which is one of my absolute, all time favorite children’s movies. But that’s the thing...teenage Josh Brolin or not, I just can’t really get myself to think of this as teen fare. But then, it’s going against Save The Last Dance, which is just so so wrong and bad. So, looks like I’ll be voting for the Truffle Shuffle and not for J Stiles. Sean Patrick Thomas, I love you, but I cannot endorse this.
Well, on the one hand we’ve got Nick Cannon in a movie about...drumming. A movie that was so underwhelming that, despite knowing I’ve seen it, I can remember approximately...nothing. But I’m sure has a special place in the heart’s of the marching band geeks (sorry, choir nerd here). On the other hand we have a story of a young boy overcoming bullies and winning the heart of Elisabeth Shue through the power of KARATE. This shouldn’t really factor in your decision making, but HOLY CRAP that scene where Mr. Miyagi talks about losing his wife and baby son in an internment camp during WWII? OH GOD, WHY, I’m almost crying just thinking about it. They were right to give Pat Morita an oscar nod.
When I was in sixth grade, I listened to the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack pretty much everyday for a year. To say I liked this movie was an understatement. But alas, that love was fleeting, because I could hardly muster up the energy to vouch for it. And it’s going head to head with American Pie, that movie where Jason Biggs sticks his penis in a pastry. And thanks to American Pie, we were introduced to a host of mediocre actors that we would be forced to see in too many movies for the next few years. And so many sequels and imitators. Oy, what hath it wrought upon us?!
Sixteen Candles was my absolute favorite movie in high school. What girl didn’t feel like a Samantha? And hope that a Jake Ryan would notice her? But can my love for this movie overcome my horror stemming from how Jake Ryan hands over his unconscious girlfriend to get date raped by Farmer Ted? In the other corner we have Drive Me Crazy, where an unlikable Melissa Joan Hart pretends that Adrian Grenier isn’t attractive for half a movie. But I did love that Britney song!
Uhhh, Risky Business. A movie where I’m supposed to think having sex with prostitutes and pimping out women to your classmates is charming and industrious? Because when it’s done by an attractive upper-middle class young white guy, it’s all hunky dory and appealing? Blech. Then we have Drop Dead Gorgeous, I movie that I flippin’ adore. I know what some of your big city, no-bra-wearing, hairy-legged women libbers might say. They might say that a pageant is old-fashioned and demeaning to the girls. But DDG is a real winner.
Do Marty McFly and Doc Brown have what it takes to upset the Kiki bracket? They should at least have what it takes to topple poor Nick and Norah, one of the only three movies I haven’t seen from this tournament.
So get your votes in for this group and the other divisions from earlier this week now! Polls close this Saturday at midnight CST, with results posted on Sunday.