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A Highly Scientific Analysis of the CATCHING FIRE Trailer

In news that will surprise absolutely no one, Effie totally wins this trailer.

A Highly Scientific Analysis of the CATCHING FIRE Trailer

Warning: This post contains spoilers for both Catching Fire and Mockingjay. Like, duh.

HEY THERE, TRIBUTES! If y'all were watching the MTV Movie Awards tonight like good little Capitol citizens, you saw the first trailer for Catching Fire! Or, if you were a lazy pants member of the revolution, you fought the power and just waited until it showed up on YouTube. Because the odds are always in favor of Lionsgate pimping the shizz out of these movies.

So, in case you haven't seen the trailer, here it is:

It's been a while since we've had a subject worth of analysis (i.e. there's no more Twilight movies), so forgive me if my lab skills are a bit rusty. But this trailer deserves our scientific attention, so slip on your safety goggles, snap on some rubber gloves and let's get down to serious analytical business!

Stormtroopers! Wait, no, sorry, that's just the Capitol Guard with fancy new armor. Looks like someone got a bigger budget this time around!

(I bet the dudes still wearing this old uniform are PISSED. All they got was a scooter helmet and one of those smocks they give you at the dentist so you don't get cancer from x-rays.)

EFFIE PHOTO BOMB!!!!

Peeta: "Well, I've got a new suit AND a new haircut, and everyone's had plenty of months to forget about that time I looked like a talking rock. The odds are totally in my favor in this movie!"

Katniss: "I can't wait til that scene where I get to kiss Gale."

"My name is Philip Seymour Hoffman, and I am here to class up this joint."

MERCH ALERT!

Damn, graffiti artist! You really got the Capitol good! I'm sure you were totally the first person to think of this MEGA SLAM! p.s. Your penmanship is way too good.

I'd like to have a moment of silence for this incredibly powerful scene in the book before it gets manhandled by this movie. RIP.

"BUT HAYMITCH, I WON AN OSCAR!!!!!!"

Why do I get the sneaking suspicion that Effie will always and forever be my favorite character in these movies? Oh right, because she can actually rock that outfit, as opposed to Katniss, who looks like she's being slowly eaten by her dress and shoulder pads.

p.s. Peeta, WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE A WOODEN MARIONETTE PUPPET? Seriously, you're making the Lonely Goatherd look positively ALIVE.

I hope that Caesar Flickerman offers some biting fashion critique on that dude's top hat because a LOT of guys were randomly wearing top hats here in Austin during SXSW and THIS TREND MUST NOT BE ENCOURAGED.

Prim: "You saved my life. You gave me a chance"... to be killed in the fourth movie instead of the third. Thanks, Lionsgate!

And everyone on Team Gale rejoiced. Until they remembered the Mockingjay epilogue. Then they cursed Suzanne Collins' name and googled this to console themselves.

Is it just me, or does this trailer kind of... drag? It's only two and a half minutes and yet, they totally milk this scene for all its worth. This is by far the LEAST intense showdown that Katniss faces in Catching Fire, and her gunslinger stance and "Make my day"-esque line is just straight up silly. Sorry, honey, but you are no Clint Eastwood. Although given that whole chair episode, maybe that's a good thing?

Thanks, President Snow, for finally maybe sort of mentioning the Quarter Quell! I guess you want to keep it a big secret from the approximately five people in the entire world who have not read Catching Fire the book or Catching Fire the IMDB page.

They really weren't kidding when they called this a "Teaser Trailer" because I'm pretty sure we only saw scenes from the first 15 minutes of the movie. No Finnick! No Johanna! No freaky ass monkeys! I get why Lionsgate doesn't want to play all of their cards at once but REALLY? By limiting this trailer to pre-Quell, they make this film seem anti-climactic and, frankly, pretty lame.

What say you, fellow scientists? Did this trailer increase your excitement or make you pull a Willow with the BORED NOW? Give us your academic feedback in the comments!

 

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Posh Deluxe's photo About the Author: Sarah lives in Austin, TX, where she programs films at the Alamo Drafthouse. Sarah enjoys fancy cocktails, dance parties and anything that sparkles (except vampires).