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The GILMORE GIRLS Rewatch Project: A Spa, A Funeral And A Jealous Boyfriend

Mandy J subs for Meredith with three fantastic Season Two episodes!

The GILMORE GIRLS Rewatch Project: A Spa, A Funeral And A Jealous Boyfriend

Hey guys, welcome my friend Mandy J! I've been out of town, so she graciously agreed to cover for me. She introduced me to Gilmore Girlsshe joins me for the finale recaps and she's burningberry in the comments. Also, she rules. -Meredith

Follow along the whole rewatch here!

Last week, on Gilmore Girls...

It’s lucky Week 13 of our Gilmore Girls Rewatch Project! I’ve watched this show over and over since it originally aired, but even with repeated viewings, I sometimes forget the finer details of which episode is which. So, when Meredith asked me to write about this week’s episodes, I was all “Sure!  Sounds fun!”  Then, much to my delight, sixty seconds into the first episode, I actually said “Oh!” out loud to myself because it was “THIS one!” Get ready for some good eps, you guys.

First, let’s get our drink on:

The Gilmore Girls Drinking Game Rules

Drink once every time:

Lorelai or Rory drinks coffee.

Emily gets flustered by Lorelai's bizarre sense of humor.

Sookie is controlling about food.

Paris is controlling about anything.

Michel snubs a customer.

Luke is crotchety.

Taylor has an absurd scheme for Stars Hollow.

The girls acquire massive amounts of food and then fail to take even one bite.

 

Drink twice every time:

Kirk has a new job.

You see a town troubadour.

Emily gets a new maid.

On to the episodes!

2.16 “There’s The Rub”

We start with some construction chaos at Luke’s. Tom and his crew are building out Luke’s apartment, Macklemore style (as in, the ceiling can’t hold them). Pieces of ceiling are falling on customers. Luke, as you’d imagine, is totally grouching. (drink!)

He’s even grumpier when Lorelai’s cell phone rings inside the diner. Emily’s won a gift certificate to a spa and wants to give it to Lorelai, who does a little too good a job talking up how great it will be, because Emily decides to join her. While packing, Lorelai gives Rory a lecture to party it up while she’s gone. Rory says that she’s ordering delivery food, doing laundry and falling asleep in front of the TV. (So, in my book, she totally listened.) Rory’s Alone Night is in danger when Dean wants to hang out. She puts him off until the next day, and he does the patented “I’m not mad” pout that boyfriends and girlfriends of the world have perfected since dating was invented.

Rory is hard at work perfecting Alone Night when Paris shows up. Red alert! Alone Night security breach! She’s panicking about her lack of chemistry knowledge, and Rory knows that the only way to calm Paris is to give in. She agrees to study for “just one hour." They're finishing up their hour when the doorbell rings. It’s Jess with a Luke care package of food. Jess flirts his way into the house to help her eat the HUGE amount of food that Luke sent, and to cut the flirtation factor down, Rory invites Paris to stay. By the way, props for writing in a scene in which Paris talks to Nanny on the phone. “¡Hay mucho mac and cheese!”

It seems Dean did NOT take “I’m hanging out alone” as an answer, though, and has decided it’s a good idea to call and say he’s on his way over to hang out. Rory tries to thwart him, but guess how successful that is?

Just as Dean’s temper is entering the red zone, Paris comes to the rescue, telling Dean that SHE invited Jess to stay, because she has a crush on him. He buys it, and the frenemies are now more “fre” than “nemies”!

Meanwhile, Lorelai is determined to let Emily's presence ruin a perfectly good spa weekend. Emily, however, continues to be super cheery and fun, albeit a LITTLE talky. Eventually, they start being really sweet to each other. When this happens with me and my mom, I act like I’ve gotten a deer to eat out of my hand. No sudden moves, and just soak it in. Both ladies are starving and cannot wait to eat dinner. Sadly for them, the entire menu is steamed and/or tofu. They decide to break themselves out of healthy jail and head to a restaurant for a steak. Oh, I just LOVE it when Emily engages in shenanigans!

At the steakhouse, a Silver Fox comes over and asks Emily to dance. A rather sultry second song comes on, though, and Emily decides it’s a little too sexy on that dance floor for her, and she flees the restaurant. That deer that was eating out of Lorelai’s hand goes and chomps her fingers right off, telling her it was her fault that the Silver Fox hit on her. Both elder Gilmore Girls are sulking and hurt from the fight, when Emily finally asks “Why can’t we have what you and Rory have?” An honest and kind talk follows, and they decide to find SOME way to bond, but how? They steal the luxurious robes that the spa has in their rooms, and Shenanigans Emily officially bonds with Lorelai on spa weekend!

Just when you think the episode is over…TWIST! Rory goes to thank Luke for the care package, and he’s all “What care package?” Turns out, Jess prepared it himself! Dun, dun, dunnn! Jess and Rory flirt a bit, while poor Dean looks on with Lorelai…

How many times do I have to drink? 

11

How many cups of coffee do the Gilmore girls drink?  

Just 2, as caffeine is verboten at the spa. Poor Lorelai!

Flirtation quota:  

There’s the Jess care package of food, not to mention the Silver Fox hitting on Emily. Technically, Dean and Rory also make out, but considering she’s trying to put off hanging out with him at the same time, it’s not that flirty.

Best/most dated pop culture reference:

“That was NOT great writing. That was the National Enquirer of the '50s.” –Paris, in reference to the Beat writers, specifically the writing of Jack Kerouac.

Sookie’s best dish of the episode:  

No Sookie food, but a really big steak happens, so that’s pretty great.

Lorelai’s craziest outfit:  

This puff painted “Yoga kills” shirt is pretty awful, and it even seems like Lorelai agrees!

Kirk insanity:  

No insanity to speak of. In fact, he only shows up to ask/hassle the girls for their table in the last scene. Too little Kirk!

Michel madness:

Sadly, a Michel-less episode. My snark levels are dangerously low!

Best Gilmore Gal witticism:

Emily: "I really shouldn’t leave my daughter alone."

Lorelai: "That’s okay. The sitter will be here any minute."

Random observation:

While I love this one for so many Emily reasons, I realized in rewatching that, whoa: Lorelai and Jess wear the same coat in this episode, and then whoa again:  

Rory wears it in the end!

2.17 “Dead Uncles and Vegetables”

Emily’s got a Daughters of The American Revolution meeting, and guess where she’s having it? The Independence Inn! Sookie has made eight different soups for Emily to try, and during the tasting she can’t help but start to gush about her upcoming wedding. Emily begins to Hannibal Lecter Sookie into becoming a Bridezilla before you can say “string quartet."

Across the lobby, Lorelai is on the phone with Luke. He’s making a reservation for nine rooms at the inn. He’s got some family coming in because, sad!, his Uncle Louie died. While Luke claims to be handling this just fine, upon arrival at Luke’s, Lorelai and Rory find chaos. Coffees are empty, orders aren’t ready, and Luke is running around on his phone with the mega-long cord. Lorelai plays waitress to help him out while he makes funeral plans. Turns out, though, old Uncle Louie was kind of a jerk. None of the relatives want to come, and the Revolutionary War Reenacters refuse to see off WWII vet Louie.

Sookie has entered full on “Bridezilla” mode, with the goading of Emily, and continues to spiral until Lorelai finds poor Sookie looking for ceramic stands to put the paper maché mushrooms on, because what else will the midgets dressed as angels dance under? She finally succeeds in talking her down just in time to help Luke with his next funeral crisis.

His problem is a little icky, actually.  Louie has demanded that he be buried with a bunch of his stuff, and now the coffin won’t close!  Ew…

This is understandably the last straw for Luke. He Lukes out (similar to Hulking out, but with less green and more plaid) and bails on the whole funeral. Not for long, though. He calms down, solves the casket crisis, and the funeral is back on - with Lorelai as the only other guest. Wait…  What’s that noise?

No, it’s not Lorelai’s jacket, as loud as it may be. It’s the Reenactors! It seems Lorelai has talked them into giving him a veteran’s goodbye after all. But, wait, there’s more! Nearly the whole town has shown up for a wake at Luke’s - at Jess' behest! While Louie may have been a hated town curmudgeon, Luke turns out to be a LOVABLE town curmudgeon. Just as we’ve suspected all along…

What of the “vegetables” part of the title, you may ask? Well, poor Taylor is getting his business siphoned away by a farmers market right in the town square! The town is thrilled. He is, needless to say, horrified at this loss of control over the produce supplied to Stars Hollow, and makes like Taylor, calling up an item at the town meeting, even though the vegetable merchant (who is also the previously featured other troubadour played by Dave Gruber Allen) has all the proper permits. Fresh veggies? Rule follower? I like this guy! Nearly defeated by the town’s love for the vegetable guy/troubadour (vegetabadour?), Taylor attends the wake all despondent, albeit despondent in costume. Just when all appears lost for produce sales at Doose’s Market, Vegetabadour picks up stakes and moves on. Turns out, he’d only grown a small amount at home, and now that he’s sold it all, he's out of there! Taylor lives to issue permits for a festival on another day.

How many times do I have to drink?

12

How many cups of coffee do the Gilmore girls drink?

Only two cups of coffee are consumed by a Gilmore girl, both by Lorelai. Technically, she doesn’t even drink them. She just holds them!

Flirtation quota:  

Lorelai drops everything to be there for Luke, which is a whole mess o’ flirty. Emily even calls her on it. Not to be outdone, Rory and Jess have a flirty dynamic all throughout the episode as she tries to get him to help out more at the diner while Luke is busy with the funeral.

Best/most dated pop culture reference:

“She’s Patricia Hearst, and my mother is the SLA.” –Lorelai, in reference to Sookie’s bridezilla brainwashing at the hands of Emily.

Sookie’s best dish of the episode:  

Sookie cooks eight soups, however, only mushroom soup is actually mentioned. I don’t like mushrooms, but I love Sookie, so I’m going to go out on a limb and say the…THIRD soup is her best dish!

Lorelai’s craziest outfit:  

If the rule for a wedding is don’t wear white so you don’t match the bride, shouldn’t the rule for a funeral be don’t wear a floral print so you don’t match the casket flowers?

Kirk insanity:  

Kirk is the trumpet player for the Reenactors. He’s about as skilled at it as you’d imagine. Especially if you imagine him as not at ALL skilled at it.

Michel madness:

“I forgot his name from the desk to here. That’s how memorable he is.” –Michel, in reference to Luke calling for Lorelai. For context, she was about thirty feet away in the dining room. So, Luke is less than thirty feet memorable!

Best Gilmore Gal witticism:

Lorelai shows up late to the town meeting, to which Taylor says:

Taylor: "Late again, are we?"

Lorelai: "Yes, I HOPE I’m not pregnant!"

Random observation:

Taylor mentions that he’s never seen Miss Patty take such an interest in fresh produce, when we all know that totes inapprops conversation she had in Doose’s about the sensuality of produce. Just ask Kirk, the former produce manager!

2.18 “Back In the Saddle Again” 

Richard has begun to lean into retirement, restoring an old car. This hobby makes him quite late (and quite dirty!) for dinner. (I just LOVE Emily’s reaction here!)

Mid-banter the next morning at Luke’s, Dean crashes the party. I say crash because that’s what Rory’s face does: falls upon his arrival. What is that faint ticking sound in the background? Huh, never mind. Must be hearing things…Rory makes like a bunny and heads to Chilton where her group is getting ready for the Business Fair. Plus, look who’s back! Our old pal, Brad! After extensive therapy from the Shakespeare and debate incidents, he’s back to face his fears! As in, Paris.

For the Business Fair, they need a business advisor, and Paris begins to Paris out, demanding that Rory get her mom to do it. Rory heads to the Inn, where she asks Lorelai to advise them, and Lorelai does exactly what I would do: she refers Rory to a better person, thereby helping while not actually having to DO anything. Who’s her referral? Richard! Richard is reluctant at first, but then Rory uses the greatest weapon in her arsenal: Sweet Granddaughter Face!

Needless to say, he agrees to advise them. Paris’ idea of a teen-centric first aid kit for lockers piques his interest, though, and before you know it, he’s advising their venture with glee! (Rory counteracts this glee with the “ughs” she gives out upon coming home to FOURTEEN messages from Dean, all left between after school and six o’clock. There’s that ticking noise again!  Strange…) Unfortunately, Team Richard doesn’t win the Business Fair, but the students take it in stride. Richard does NOT take the loss well, laying into Headmaster Charlton in front of the whole fair. He stomps home from the fair and locks himself in his study. Just when they’re considering having him committed, he emerges. He’s in high spirits, having realized that he misses being involved in the business world, and has decided to go back to work.

On the drive home, Rory gets a text (actually a page, but I’m adjusting for how anachronistic that sounds now) from Dean. She instead goes to Luke’s with Lane, which is clearly a veiled attempt to spend time around Jess. Lorelai full well knows it, too, but drops Rory off at Lane’s. That ticking is deafening! Wait. I know what it is!

It’s the clock edging toward time for a reality check. Lorelai comes home to find Dean on the doorstep. Reality check: commencing now…

How many times do I have to drink?

6

How many cups of coffee do the Gilmore girls drink?

It’s the White Whale of episodes. Not ONE CUP OF COFFEE is consumed, or even held, by a Gilmore girl!

Flirtation quota:  

Little to none, actually. Rory’s avoiding Dean, and Luke just gives a glimmer of “You won’t like the special” flirting. It’s kind of the opposite of flirty in this episode!

Best/most dated pop culture reference:

“You’ve got to start easing up on that love potion you’ve been giving him, or he’ll start showing up at David Letterman’s house.” –Lorelai, regarding Dean’s smothering.

Sookie’s best dish of the episode:  

She whips up a meringue, which she flings into the air upon the arrival of her wedding invitations. Best gif ever!

Lorelai’s craziest outfit:  

Her wardrobe is oddly subtle in this episode. Nearly everything is a solid, with no glitter or wacky sayings on it. Therefore, the sole pattern that she wears, which isn’t even that bad, wins by default.

Kirk insanity:  

Not a crumb of Kirk in this one!  Sad…

Michel madness: 

Michel's mother is in town! He's overjoyed at first, until he throws a Michel-style fit after Lorelai blabs to his mother that he’s given up carbs, which is apparently a mortal sin for the French: “You know what happens when you assume!” “What?” “I don’t know. Something about a donkey. It’s a stupid American phrase!”

Best Gilmore Gal witticism:

“Yes. DISTURBED people.”--Emily, upon Lorelai’s suggestion that many people swear by therapy.

Random observation:

Michel’s mom is played by the original Aunt Viv from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air! Appropriately enough, Michel’s life gets flipped, turned upside down.

--

So thanks for having me, folks! Meredith and I will BOTH be back next week for the Season Two finale edition, so meet us back here next Wednesday morning as we recap "Teach Me Tonight," "Help Wanted," "Lorelai's Graduation Day" and "I Can't Get Started"

Mandy Jeronimus's photo About the Author: Mandy recently repatriated back to Minnesota after a twelve year sojourn in Texas. When not working on her upcoming web series, she enjoys brewing beer, wearing grandfatherly sweaters and plagiarizing Winona Ryder’s haircuts from the '90s.
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