Yours truly sat down and rewatched the last two episodes from season four just so I could bring y’all back up to speed, because we all know that every episode of TVD like, 384 different things happen. LET’S DO THIS.
When last we left our heroes in Mystic Falls, Elena (now a vampire) finally turned her humanity back on and is intent on hunting down Katherine and putting a stake in her once and for all. You can’t really blame her since Katherine DID kill Jeremy AND take The Cure. (Not the moody, English, lots-of-dark-eye-makeup band from the 80’s, pretty sure they’re still around, but THE Cure, the one and only cure for vampirism in existence! WHAT.) Stefan is trying to redirect her anger Buffy-and-Giles style by letting her beat the everliving hell out of some punching bags. Yeah. It’s not really working.
Silas is still messing with everyone by taking the form of anyone he damn well pleases. Bonnie thinks that she’s found a loophole around this (spoiler - she hasn’t) and is trying to bring down the veil between our world and the spirit world a day early so that Silas can’t get what he wants, which I think is taking The Cure and then reuniting with his true love? I can’t really tell at this point. She’s tethered Katherine to her with her witchy magic and ends up under Mystic Grill in some sort of cavern that is the center of the Expression Triangle (hipster band name?) created by the murders of witches, hybrids and humans.
Still with me? Ok!
Caroline is trying to get everyone excited about graduation. Oh Caroline. I love that you never let things like a possible supernatural invasion ruin things like...high school graduation. Priorities!
Damon is wandering about being awesome. AS USUAL.
So, Bonnie drops the veil and sees her Grams (WHITLEY!) and it’s a sweet, tear-filled reunion. Meanwhile above ground Alaric (ALARIC!) finds Damon, Lexi (LEXI!) finds Stefan and Jeremy (Meh, he was never my fave) finds Elena. Elena has gone to his grave and finally allows herself to grieve her brother’s death, but not before Psychotic Kol rolls up and tries to kill her, so of course Jeremy has to roll up and be like, “How many times do I have to kill you?” and saves his sister. WORD.
Rebecca is still wooing Matt and it’s kind of adorable. So of course some previously slain Vampire Hunters, including her old fiancee, roll up and start trouble. Fast forward to Matt standing on some sort of bomb that will blow up if he moves off and Rebecca saving him and the day with her vampire speed. I guess that seals the deal for the two of them going to Europe for the summer. You know, I’m just going to say it - Matt REALLY needs to get some and I’m thinking that this transatlantic sojourn may just put a spring back in his step.
Everyone gets to spend a bit of time with their loved ones, the flip side being that every supernatural being that died in Mystic Falls and has a grudge has also showed up. Well guess what? You can go ahead and shoot Damon with a werewolf venom-laced bullet because Caroline has Klaus on speed dial. Not only does he show up to save Damon BUT he also decapitates one of the bitter dead witches with a MORTARBOARD.
I know he can be a bit sociopathic, our Klaus, but you can’t deny he has style. Later on he tells Caroline that Tyler can come back to Mystic Falls. “He may be your first love, but I intend on being your last, no matter how long that takes.” Cut to me trying to crawl into my TV and make out with Klaus.
Back to Silas! He corners Bonnie in the cavern and is all, “Did you think you could lie to me, blah blah blah” and Bonnie turns his ass to stone. That’s the short version. Also, she tries to bring Jeremy back from the dead and succeeds BUT she dies instead. She knows she has one more day til the veil goes up and doesn’t tell her friends. Oh Bonnie. You get the short end of just about every stick in Mystic Falls.
Remember how we were talking about The Cure? Well Damon gets it from Silas after he’s turned to stone, gives it to Elena who then tries to give it to Stefan (“You’re the worst vampire EVER.”) but not before Elena tries to give it to Damon to cure him of the werewolf venom that’s poisoning him. Which then leads to the hottest speech possibly given by Damon about how he’s selfish and he doesn’t want to be old and human when Elena is still a hot, young vampire and he’s not willing to settle and Elena confesses she’s in love with him, kissing ensues and seriously guys, just go back and watch the finale. PANTIES ON FIRE.
Then we see Stefan, as he’s leaving Mystic Falls for good, tell Damon that he’s not happy Elena is in love with him BUT he’s not NOT happy for Damon. Those boys, I’ll tell ya. Their love for each other just overwhelms me sometimes.
So we think that Stefan has The Cure BUT as we see him going to dump Silas’ body in the lake there is a flashback and turns out Stefan makes Elena take it instead. But she doesn’t. She ends up in quite the doppelganger tussle with Katherine and then force-feeds it to her. We all do a jig of glee because Katherine is a giant pain in the ass. (Elijah? You can do SO much better. Call me.)
Back to Stefan - he realizes that Statue Silas has cracked open when he tries to dump it in the river and SURPRISE, Silas rolls up (as Elena) and tells Stefan that because Bonnie is dead so is her spell, so he can now take the form of his shadow self. You know, a DOPPELGANGER. Which looks exactly like Stefan, as we see reflected in the car’s window. Real Stefan gets wrapped up in a giant vault and tossed over the cliff into the lake. So yeah. EVIL STEFAN/SILAS. SI-FAN? STEF-LAS? I don’t know but holy cow I did NOT see that coming.
Dear CW -
Please make a spinoff that is all about Lexi and Stefan’s 20th century hijinx. Include ALL the Bon Jovi.