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Netflix Fix: Honey 2

Remember that Jessica Alba dance movie? It has a sequel, starring absolutely no one from the original.

Netflix Fix: Honey 2

Title: Honey 2
Year: 2011
Fix: Morbid Curiosity

Netflix IMDb Summary:

Recently released from juvenile detention, talented dancer Maria Ramirez finds an outlet for her passion with a new dance crew.

FYA Summary:

If you're anything like me, finding out there's a sequel to the mediocre dance movie that starred Jessica Alba's abs means, "AWW CRAP. I have no choice but to watch the mediocre sequel to that mediocre movie." (But STAY STRONG, dear reader. Or lower your already meagre expectations. And then demolish the remnants of your expectations.)

In order to justify the "2" in this movie's title, Honey's mom has become the legal guardian for Maria, who's fresh out of juvie. As Maria tries to start her life over -- both in and out of the dance studio that Honey built -- her past keeps resurfacing. OMG WILL THERE BE A SHOWDOWN BETWEEN HER PAST AND PRESENT? And in DAAAANCE form?! (Captain Obvious Spoiler alert: Honey herself does not show up.)

Familiar Faces:

Kat(erina) Graham as Maria

Oh, Bonnie Bennett. She's playing the role of the troubled protag who just wants to DAAAANCE! Which means full shirts aren't allowed to restrict her sick abs. 

Randy Wayne as Brandon

I've only seen this guy in The Lying Game, so I had no idea he was Bianca Lawson-esque, i.e. a 30-something playing a teenager. Anyway, Brandon's the obligatory love interest. 

And now we get to the celebrity cameos for the film! The first one featured musicians like Missy Elliot, Ginuwine, and Jadakiss (and lol Shawn Desman). This time around? 

Mario Lopez as himself

Yup. 

Audrina Patridge as herself / Hot Celebrity Judge / Melinda (?)

Since when was she a dance expert? Her Dancing with the Stars experience def. doesn't count.

As for actual dancers, there are a few So You Think You Can Dance alums, like Hok and Comfort, in blink-and-you'll-miss-them appearances. 

Couch-Sharing Capability: Any Way You Want It ('It' Being Background Noise)

This movie doesn't require a whole lot of attention span. YOU'RE SHOCKED, I know. You can put it on when you're busy chatting/folding laundry/planning for world domination and just occasionally perk up when someone starts dancing. 

Recommended Level of Inebriation: High

Y'all -- the very first scene is a juvie dance battle. And here are some of my highly scientific analyses of the other dance scenes: 

•  Flashdance rip-off
•  Like a really fun dancerobics or Zumba class
•  Nouveau voguing
•  Sneer dancing
•  Blindfolded dancing

That should tell you everything you need to know about the required alcohol intake. 

Use of Your Netflix Subscription: Weak

Obvs, this is way, WAY inferior to any entry in the Step Up franchise. You really shouldn't be watching for the dancing. Or the plot. Or at all. (10% on Rotten Tomatoes!) But if you can't resist low-budget, direct-to-DVD sequels that have tenuous ties to the original... well, this movie exists. 

Mandy Wan's photo About the Author: Residing in Edmonton, AB, Mandy unabashedly loves YA lit, frozen desserts, and terrible puns.