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A Highly Scientific Analysis of the VERONICA MARS Movie ‘Love Triangle’ Featurette

Join us as we lose our shizz over the new Veronica Mars movie featurette!

A Highly Scientific Analysis of the VERONICA MARS Movie ‘Love Triangle’ Featurette

Hey there, Marshmallows! Yesterday, we were gifted with tons of new footage from the Veronica Mars movie. And a groundbreaking discovery such as this calls for -- nay, DEMANDS a congregation of scientific minds such as yours. So slip on your lab coats and let's dissect the Piz out of this!

First, we must examine our subject as a whole: 

Did you collect all your data? Feed it into the FYA Supercomputer before your brains melt from INFORMATION OVERLOAD.

OH HAI THERE. A long time ago, we used to be friends. 

TRUTH GRENADE: Veronica's been dating Piz. And Piz turned his college radio gig into a grownup job! At least he'll have an outlet to vent when LoVe inevitably crushes his soul. (It's science, y'all.)

The mystery is muuuuurder! But the real crime is this girl biting Katy Perry's hair colour, circa 2010. 

And we have a possible love triangle involving former poker pals (not a euphemism), Logan and Sean! Oh, Sean would be a music video director, with that cultivated skeeziness. But we all know that's not the kind of LoVe we're Logan's really interested in!

Hey, boo. 

So how long has this been going on? Since college? If these two have been dating for ten years, I'm going to have a hard time rooting against them, in favour of a brief but intense teenage relationship. (EDIT: No, they have not! It's only been a year) 

WELP. Not that hard after all! (Scientists, we must formulate that fire-retardant underwear after this analysis.)

Soooo. How do I invite myself to this boozy best friend sandwich? 

Admit it. He's kind of winning you over, right? 

Them? Suh cyuht

SMOULDERSMOULDERSMOUDLER.

But but -- the cuteness!

How adorbs is this!? 

And it's contagious, too!

LOGAN, JAKE RYAN-ING IS NOT EVEN FAIR. To my ovaries, I mean. PIZ WHO?!

This isn't new, but dancing this like must be documented. For science! 

THE SINGLE-MOST IMPORTANT MOVIE STILL IN THE HISTORY OF TIME. That smart, fetching lady in the background, to the left of Mac? None other than FYA's very own Poshdeluxe ZOMG!

NOOO NOT THE FACE!

Principal Clemmons! Cue the montage of familiar faces! R-O-L-L C-A-L-L!

G-G-G-Gia! With some dude who's about to marry her, it seems.

Hellooooooooo Deputy-Again(?) Leo! 

Vinnie Van Lowe! *CLAP CLAP* Is watching yooooou...!

KEITH! CLIFF! Sachs! And mumblemumble Jerry O'Connell back-up Lamb. (BTW, pour one out for Backup, y'all.)

And some of the show's most important recurring guest stars: FISTICUFFS! And argyle sweaters!

How you doin', Dick? Rooming with Logan, eh? TEAM LICK 4EVA.  

GAHHHH STILL SO FAR AWAY. And if I remember right, time travel is not yet possible. Why you gotta do us like that, movie?!

As your scientific selves can deduce, this featurette has me PUMPED. And it even inspired more Piz love in me than the entirety of Season 3 did! (What a difference a haircut makes. As well as Chris Lowell's undeniable charm.) It's a lot more info than I would have wanted, were I not the dedicated scientist that I am. Deffo for us h-core fans, though. I don't know how well it works for newbies who don't know the full history of the tall brooding man and the tiny blonde one. 

Anyway, everyone looked FAB -- Mac especially, obvs. Though there was one glaring omission:

What say you, fellow scientists? What's the statistical probability of Piz having an actual chance? Do you hypothesize that the limit does not exist for LoVe? Share your findings in the comments below! 

 

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Mandy Wan's photo About the Author: Residing in Edmonton, AB, Mandy unabashedly loves YA lit, frozen desserts, and terrible puns.